Confused on What to Do 3

[CT1118]

Don't know much about martial arts or rock gym (might have to look into the rock gym at some point), but I have gotten to the gym a couple of times this week and I will be going tomorrow morning. Maybe I will add a little more weight to the bar to try to let out some aggression.

Golf is cool man. I have built course's and turned down green "free's" in places golfer's would chop a pinky off to play at - Hilton Head, Kiawah, King's Mill, Seaford...PGA/LPGA - if you have golf'ed in Virginia, Georgia, or South Carolina, on the coast... HUGE chance you have golf'ed around trees I worked on or planted. Enjoy.
Golf is great. If you abandoned and still enjoy - do it! It is important you also do something new - anything new.

Thanks for the advice on the journal. I was assuming I just write my thoughts for the day, but your description has me intrigued. I guess I was looking at it as more of a daily diary, but with what you describe it can be much more. Thanks

I thought as much. Tonight my journal entry was just a quote from Alice Walker:

“I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.”

And to enforce the example, a creative thought of my own (it accompanied a picture of my s5 on the beach):

"all the stars which have ever failed became sand upon my shore".

Think about that statement, the truth of how the solar system operates and you, and your kids..., get back with me Mr. Armstrong.

[Eagle11]

Golf is cool man. I have built course's and turned down green "free's" in places golfer's would chop a pinky off to play at - Hilton Head, Kiawah, King's Mill, Seaford...PGA/LPGA - if you have golf'ed in Virginia, Georgia, or South Carolina, on the coast... HUGE chance you have golf'ed around trees I worked on or planted.

CT, I have golfed many times in Hilton Head and the surrounding area. We've taken many family vacations there over the years. I've been to Kingsmill once and I live and golf in Georgia now so I'm sure I've seen your trees. I have been wanting to go to Kiawah and had to pass up a chance a few years back, maybe someday.

[CT1118]

I put many trees into the earth in Georgia as well - mostly along the Savannah River, the City of Savannah, Tybee Island, and all of those other places in that area. Best meal I ever had in my life was along the Savannah River in the middle of nowhere. A fat old black woman cooked it for me - told me she felt like a "yankee' because she moved from Georgia to South Carolina (literally only across the Savannah River). She looked like an angel and her food was certainly heaven. Collards, fried chicken & catfish,cornbread, and a few other recipes God dictated should enter my pie hole that day.

But I digress, where are you at with you Eagle11? How is the journal. How are you physically making yourself sweat - sweat hard induced, not just b/c GA is humid as H3ll. I was thinking of you - couldn't put my finger on it...got it now though. It was a quote from one of my favorite books - Catch 22 by J. Heller. Not really DB related in terms of story, but a quote I had to jar out of my head with hammer and chisel. I went back and found it. An exchange between the main character Capt. J. Yossarian and his Major:

Yossarian - "From now on I'm thinking only of me"
Major - "But Yossarian, suppose everyone thought that way."
Yossarian "Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?"

Great movie version exists of the book, but anyway - are you thinking only of you yet? You'd be a "damned fool" to do anything else. (remember - unhealthy you, bad for kids. healthy you, great for kids - don't tell me kids come first, they don't, you do. put your o2 mask on before helping the kids. or, if you prefer the American Red Cross first responder line "never create a second victim").

Houston out.

[Eagle11]

I put many trees into the earth in Georgia as well - mostly along the Savannah River, the City of Savannah, Tybee Island, and all of those other places in that area. Best meal I ever had in my life was along the Savannah River in the middle of nowhere. A fat old black woman cooked it for me - told me she felt like a "yankee' because she moved from Georgia to South Carolina (literally only across the Savannah River). She looked like an angel and her food was certainly heaven. Collards, fried chicken & catfish,cornbread, and a few other recipes God dictated should enter my pie hole that day.

I've been to Savannah a few times over the years, it's a cool little city.

But I digress, where are you at with you Eagle11? How is the journal. How are you physically making yourself sweat - sweat hard induced, not just b/c GA is humid as H3ll. I was thinking of you - couldn't put my finger on it...got it now though. It was a quote from one of my favorite books - Catch 22 by J. Heller. Not really DB related in terms of story, but a quote I had to jar out of my head with hammer and chisel. I went back and found it. An exchange between the main character Capt. J. Yossarian and his Major:

Yossarian - "From now on I'm thinking only of me"
Major - "But Yossarian, suppose everyone thought that way."
Yossarian "Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?"

I like the quote. I haven't read the book, but maybe I need to check it out. I have been doing the daily journal. I have been using it to chronicle my day and thoughts for that day or time. It is interesting to put my thoughts down on paper. I actually kept a journal during the break up of my first marriage years ago. I went back a few years later and read the journal and is was depressing to see the state I was in back then. I'm hoping with the help of this community that this journal will be more positive and be about my journey to a new and better life.

I did do some stuff for me this weekend. I worked out and I practiced golf. I also spent some time playing guitar, so those were all positives. With the kids I took them bike riding on Sunday and they had a lot of fun doing that. I also cooked some chicken on the grill on Sunday, which is something I haven't done in a while. Actually I don't think I've used the grill in a couple of month.

Thanks for checking in.

[ericmsant2]

Eagle

I've been to Savannah a few times over the years, it's a cool little city.

Ditto – I love the “River walk” area. Did you know that the 5th rated best ice cream is in Savannah.

I did do some stuff for me this weekend. I worked out and I practiced golf. I also spent some time playing guitar, so those were all positives. With the kids I took them bike riding on Sunday and they had a lot of fun doing that. I also cooked some chicken on the grill on Sunday, which is something I haven't done in a while. Actually I don't think I've used the grill in a couple of month.

I am glad to see this ^^^^

How is your reading going?

Do you see why I recommended the book?

[Eagle11]

Eagle

Ditto – I love the “River walk” area. Did you know that the 5th rated best ice cream is in Savannah.

Yes the "river walk" area is nice. I really love the city. I didn't know that about the ice cream. I will have to get some the next time I go.

How is your reading going?

Do you see why I recommended the book?

I finished NMMNG and at first I didn't get it. The first couple of chapters I was thinking this isn't me, but as I got into the book I soon realized that this could almost be an autobiography with some of what is described. I would read a chapter and be shaking my head at how similar what was being described was to what I had been doing. I mentioned the book to my therapist last week and she hadn't heard of it but when I started discussing the content of the book she agreed that it describes me. I have been working on my confidence and also not being weak and scared. I am trying to detach from my W, but I have interacted with her over the weekend and I made sure I came off as strong and sure of myself. We actually had a minor disagreement (it was nothing really) and I didn't back down like I would in the past.

[CaliGuy]

I finished NMMNG and at first I didn't get it. The first couple of chapters I was thinking this isn't me, but as I got into the book I soon realized that this could almost be an autobiography with some of what is described. I would read a chapter and be shaking my head at how similar what was being described was to what I had been doing. I mentioned the book to my therapist last week and she hadn't heard of it but when I started discussing the content of the book she agreed that it describes me. I have been working on my confidence and also not being weak and scared. I am trying to detach from my W, but I have interacted with her over the weekend and I made sure I came off as strong and sure of myself. We actually had a minor disagreement (it was nothing really) and I didn't back down like I would in the past.

The confidence thing .... I never had issue with it till BD then it was a spiral effect and I was amazed how far I dropped off.
One thing I learned in IC to regain this was along with GAL but more about getting out of your comfort zone, and doing this consistently. For me it was accepting invites (I usually would make an excuse and be busy) I also took a motorcycle riding course (Ended up buying a Harley and still ride to this day) I started seeing them as little battles ... striking up a conversation with a stranger just again ... something I was not comfortable with but after I walked away realizing it was not really that bad.

I too read NMMNG ... there is another one Hold onto your NUTS which paired well

[Eagle11]

[quote=Eagle11]

The confidence thing .... I never had issue with it till BD then it was a spiral effect and I was amazed how far I dropped off.
One thing I learned in IC to regain this was along with GAL but more about getting out of your comfort zone, and doing this consistently. For me it was accepting invites (I usually would make an excuse and be busy) I also took a motorcycle riding course (Ended up buying a Harley and still ride to this day) I started seeing them as little battles ... striking up a conversation with a stranger just again ... something I was not comfortable with but after I walked away realizing it was not really that bad.

I too read NMMNG ... there is another one Hold onto your NUTS which paired well

I have been told to get out of my comfort zone as well. I have been doing little things that I wouldn't do in the past like going to the parent teacher conference for my S6 (my w would always do this and I would stay home with our S2). I have also tried to talk to people more. I am an introvert by nature and really don't like to talk to strangers but I have held a couple of conversations with strangers the last couple of weeks. These are little things but I feel they are big steps for me at this time.

I am going to have to look into the book you recommended. The title has me intrigued and I feel I got a lot out of NMMNG and I would like to continue the education.

Thanks

[Drew]

Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms

[ericmsant2]

Eagle

I have been working on my confidence and also not being weak and scared.

1) How has it been going and
2) Can you give me more detail on WHAT you are doing or scenarios on where you are applying what you learned?

We actually had a minor disagreement (it was nothing really) and I didn't back down like I would in the past.

GOOD! What was the disagreement if I may?

I am glad you got something from the NMMNG book. Caliguy beat me to it in suggesting Hold on to your NUTS. It does pair well.

These are little things but I feel they are big steps for me at this time.

As you point out……a ton of little steps equal big steps.

How are the kiddos?