Has anyone on here been told something from their WAS that is like a major issue that does explain allot, but if they cant repeat it if they went to counseling because there would be no way it would not be reported to authorities. But maybe that person believes that the other person changed and would never do to your daughters what they did do you. But if they did go to counseling and they didn't tell that part of their early life, then the counseling really wouldn't work. So you as the LBS, can not say anything because its more than likely true but you can not prove it but have seen things that make you believe it was.
So basically, the LBS would do anything for you, but if the WAW believes you are the devil and not one of your parents, because they are great, is there any chance for the LBS to make the other person see, that they are the one to protect you and your girls.
I know, its talking in circles but hopefully someone gets it.
I know that my WAW will never think of me as the person that would jump in front of a train for you and your girls but will think that the other thing would never happen to your daughters. Maybe though its just a figment of their imagination and it never happened.
I went through anger management treatment with me telling the honest truth, even though it hurt to tell it. I know I had to be honest to get the help I needed.
If I cant even go through IC for myself without the reality of life dropping out for someone else, then how can the other person ever get the help they need with not telling that part of their life because the bottom would drop out of theirs.
We are talking high society people, god fearing people that the community loves.
That's why I'm thinking that, their is nothing that I can do but go straight up hard and file, because after 4 months with no contact, just business when it fits their schedule. Especially with when you don't have kids with them and their parents handing them everything, that I'm just being played and that women and kids I fell in love with our gone.
Sorry for the rant.
I just think in my case and what I can actually say, I have to go one way and that's just what it is, even though my heart breaks for her everyday and every min, I just continue wishing everyone on here the best. I think maybe I need to get my profile and post deleted if someone could help with that. I admire everyone on here and their wisdom to help others. I just know that people can not really help with my situation because I can not be honest with my responses.
Thanks Mr Bond. I have read hours of this board and you give allot of great advice. But I think I need my posts removed. I will deal with it solo. It has to be that way. I will defiantly keep reading others stories.
Those girls were what I always wanted, have a son that is my world, couldn't have anymore kids with his mother.
Hopefully someday, she will get what she needs.
You all keep up the good things you all do to make people reslize they aren't Alone.
Well am getting ready to go officially see a lawyer in a couple of hours.
Still no contact from her and found out yesterday when they announced her older daughter at a school function a few weeks ago they said she was the parent of wife's her first name and used her maiden name and not her married name, and this was at an event the whole small town was at, ouch that hurt.
Man this is hurting as much now as it did in the beginning.
I listen to divorce podcast and they said allot of times when a spouse has cut off all contact and yet hasn't made a move or discussion on the divorce then they are more of being passive aggressive as a way to cause the lbs as much pain as possible. Makes sense but you would think after 4 months that they would be ready to move on.
Well I guess I will get the lawyer the info and have everything ready to file as soon as I give the word. I think I need to think about it this weekend and see how I'm feeling next week but have everything in place, even if she does file first.
This was weighing heavy on mine mind last night and I messed up and knew I would not get a response but sent a test saying Love you. At least it was allot better than sending the long one I had typed out.
I know we could fix this together but I think with everything I'm seeing now its way beyond that with her now.
Well off to get ready for the lawyer, whoopee.
Still no sign off an om but really who knows. She works in a male dominated field and definately could be getting her emotional or physical needs met there, but I know that is mind reading. She and the girls have been going on weekend adventures with her parents who usually foot the bill.
Wish me luck because this is killing me from the inside and I dont know how much longer I can continue to hold on to just a little hope with there has been non.
Well back from lawyer and she told me the process and that the division of our assets and debt were what I was thinking. It will take a few years to get back to even. Said if the wife would agree to it then either one of us would have to step in court and it will cost me $650. I need to continue to think on this for awhile.
I don't want it but especially if you don't have kids and no contact with the wife what is really the reason to wait? When its to that point I think that the wife has already fell out of love with the lbs and they had already made their mind up that there is no hope. By her doing no contact for as long as she has I think it is just a way to tell me, wake up, its over.
Going to get out tomorrow and do something with the boy and try to enjoy the day.
I know i'm all over the place lately, but I do have a question.
One of the biggest thinks I did in the break up of our marriage is I lost her respect as far as not being there for her and working through our issues and taking the lead in fixing our problems.
She and her girls are on my cell phone plane and I already paid the bill last week and 200 dollars of it is her. I mentioned it last week to her and she said the check is in the mail. Well I still haven't received it and maybe it will show up tomorrow on Sat. She knows it was due and she has been reminded about it. She is also an account holder so she can transfer them to her own account but I know it will cost her some money to do that and she might even do that before Monday.
The question is, even though the chances of us ever getting back together is slim to non, I still do not want to react with hatred by shutting them off. A 180 for me would probably be to have her Dad call me and ask him could he find out about if she would like to keep them and if she would pay her part because I can not afford to continue to pay the bill, but say it in a nice way, contacting her again would probably just do more harm than good right now.
My former self in this situation would have just suspended her and her girls service and go, haha there you go. Maybe she is seeing if that is what i'm going to do, who knows. Early on, I did pay the bill and never even ask her for her half. Last month she volunteered and sent her half.
I also do not want to let her think that she can run over me and lose even more respect for me.
I need to get back on my NC, the I love you text last night was just an emotional one, and it was the first in a long while, it was where I had my appointment with my lawyer today.The lawyer did say what bills I am paying would be pretty much what I would more than likely get anyway with what things she left when she moved out, such as furniture and such equaling in everything out. So basically I can go ahead and file for divorce or not right now because money wise its not going to be any different than it is now. Allot to think about.
I am just trying to get some feedback in case this is what happens. I have been trying to really think things through the last couple of months instead of the knee jerk reactions I use to do.
But at least I'm going to take my son out and see a movie tomorrow and dinner.
