Trying to detach - ugh...

[Cherry]

It does, it's catching up to all these changes that make things hard for us. We are flung into a life we didn't want, with the person we love turning on us. Some days I'm in utter denial and think of how he was. He treated me like a queen. We would text all day long, and now I'm just completely ignored. It kind of leaves you standing around thinking wtf happened?!

Think positive, you got a response. Not a cat in hells chance could me and wh text like that. He is far too angry towards me

[Altair]

Yes, the texting all day long, treating us like queens..

No more, I just journal to myself pretty much, or fool around on here.

[Coly23]

Morning All! Blubbering as soon as I woke this morning... I think I know why I have gone ten steps back. I think I am in the acceptance stage and it's worse than denial. I accept that:

- my marriage is over
- he is nit coming back any time soon
- he does not love me
- I am a single mum again
- he has his own life and it is without me
- I have survived so far and will continue to
- it will get worse before it gets better

Need to pull myself together and go back to work.... :0(

[Coly23]

Not been on here a great deal lately. I just don't feel in a good place at the moment. Last Saturday really knocked me for six and my D has commented that I seem to have gone backwards since.

I have tried to not let it get to me but it just feels like hope is slipping away. I just don't have a lot left in the ''be strong' tank anymore.

To make it worse H has invited both myself and D out for lunch/dinner on Saturday. I really don't know what to do anymore....

[Cherry]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time. We do seem to cycle through these stages of grief, and it's not easy. And it's very painful.

There is some positives in your situation though. Your h is inviting you for lunch, mine can't even look or talk to me, so you've a positive there. If you feel you can manage to see him without any expectations and just treat him like a neighbor, I say go.

[Coly23]

I know Cherry and I do feel awful that I whinge so much because it could be so much worse but what is putting the doubts in my mind is this:

He texted D and asked if D and Mummy would like to go to lunch/dinner on Saturday. D was out with her friends when he texted so she said she didn't know and could he text me to ask but as yet he has not texted me. Does that mean he really doesn't want me to go and is just including me to be polite? Or if he didn't want me to go then he really wouldn't have bothered to include me in the first place?

I know I am over analysing everything but I really don't get the reluctance to contact me, it's really getting on my nerves!

[Cherry]

Hmm I'm not sure. I don't think that it is that he doesn't want you to be there, otherwise he just probably wouldn't bother inviting you. Maybe he asked her as he thought you might say no if he asked you directly?

Honestly though, there is no knowing what goes on in their minds. And when we try and mindread it doesn't do us any good. I frequently find myself trying to analyse wh's behaviour, but I try and stop myself in my tracks by asking myself what am I achieving. I doubt they can even make sense of their thoughts- let alone us.

[Coly23]

Still mind reading! He called D today to ask her what we wanted to do about Saturday and she asked why he didn't contact me and he said its because I can't keep up with her social calendar so he goes straight to her! Lame....

[Cherry]

Sounds like he's a little bitter you aren't sat waiting by the phone crying, waiting for him to call.

[Coly23]

Oh no sorry that came out all wrong! He meant because I can't keep up with D's social calendar he goes straight to her (she never tells me what she is doing until the last minute) but obviously he doesn't think I have any social life or if I can't make it at least he gets to see D. So either way he doesn't really need to contact me at all...

Thinking about it, he doesn't really care if I am there or not! (Mind reading again!!)

Sorry, over fixating on something entirely trivial and solvable! Need to stop ....