Maybell 39: I'm Too Old For This

[DonH]

I totally understand being terrified. It's something else I worry about for myself down the road - as if I don't already have enough. Thing is, after it's been so long for me I now see how rare it is. So, yeah, it's scary, but just how lucky are you to even have a reason to be scared. Just remember the alternative. I know I will. Utterly smitten with a guy who appears to adore you. That's pretty awesome.

[Vanilla]

Maybell, sweetheart

I believe love is in you and it grows. True attached love takes time and work, the immediate kind of love hunger is like a chinesE meal you are still hungry.

Relax into your R, it will be ok, hang out, hook up and have fun.

You are moving from dating to exclusive, it's early days.

I think if you rush this phase you may loose some beautiful sexy exciting moments.

It's great to be loved up and to have a head rush, pair bonding takes time it's the oxytocin that does the deed.

Fretting may get in the way of fun and laughter and frankly you deserve that.

Hugs

V

[mustardseed]

That is exciting, and I think the fear is good. It will force you to slow down. To not get caught up. V is one wise woman.

Enjoy this time.

[Surfer]

What's going on? Smitten/terrified?

Why?

If you are in control of you why are you terrified.

Maybell, take control.

Got it?

Surfer.

[Dawn70]

I can understand both smitten and terrified. LOL I want desperately to find love but at the same time I'm scared to death to find love. You are farther along in this process than I am, obviously, but seem very level-headed in the whole deal. Cheers to you and your continuing success on this path.

[Maybell]

Terrified, because I'm trusting him and that is scary. Because I worry I love more. Because I worry that I'll get my heart smashed again. Because I worry that I'm not seeing him clearly -- that he's not the person I'm giving him credit for being. Terrified because I don't really know how to be in a relationship and I'm afraid of messing it up.

Smitten, because he treats me better than I've ever been treated before. Because my family seems to work better when he's around -- I'm more structured, the kids are engaged, everything is just generally calmer.

I wish I had a crystal ball. And telepathy (sometimes). I wish I was braver, and maybe that he was too.

Surfer, I don't know that I understand myself well enough to be in control of me. The things that terrify me I don't believe I control.

Vanilla, we've been together 8 months. A little more than that since I met him.

[Surfer]

Maybell,

Look at the advice you have given others.

You are clear and confident.

Please be kinder to you. You are worth the same advice you kindly extend to others, surely? Well I think you are......are you not.

You are one switched on and focused lady that has a sassy edge.

Be smitten. Beautiful. But scared? Really. You have done scared, does it ever work? He wo t be attracted to scared. Be sassy, be smitten, be beautiful you.

Now get a move on and stop thinking negative thoughts....

Surfer.

[Vanilla]

Maybell

Yes 8 months is short time.

Attachment is 18 months plus.

V

[Surfer]

Boll0cks to that Maybell. You choose the timeline. Nobody else. You are a smart, confident and feisty LADY. Yes, it all takes time, and I really do get both the feeling of where you are and the fear of where you are potentially going. But he will only, only, only, be attracted to that sassy version of you. I promise you that. Go Sassy. Go sexy. Go to the best version of you. Do it now my sweet. Be have you are it, YOU!

"How long must I sing this song" as Bono would say.

Your prison is your own making. Free yourself.

Surfer

[Surfer]

*Because*