He's not dating anyone. He spends a lot of time online. We spend a lot of time together. We are having fun together right now. I told him to decide. He's stalling. I need to make the time to see a lawyer. We're also working on fixing up this house together and going to mexico in february. I'm stalling too because he agreed I can get breast augmentation. So I want to do that now before any potential split. I'm trying to focus on myself. Stop avoiding making art. Do the 180... the 180 seems to work to some extent. He's still not wearing a wedding ring even if he's inviting me on dates and bringing me coffee every morning. It's not enough. I feel torn of course. He's tall, handsome, he's so handy. He fixed the car today and saved $1k in doing so, he teaches. He directs films. Some version of him is my fantasy so it's hard to let go. I wonder if I got a platonic male friend if that would make the transition easier but it would probably just complicate things. And it seems like a game.
