Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. Without these boards, my life would have taken such a different path post D. They were and are such a blessing. I basically grew up on here as a scared young divorced mom who wanted to choke her husband and save her M at the same time. My D also grew up on here! I've gained the most amazing friends, and ones who will be my IRL friends forever too. And will certainly be invited to my next wedding if that ever happens!
Having IRL friends from these boards reminds me, even if I never met them, everyone on here is more than just words on a message board. You are all pretty special people.
SH, I don't really know your sitch, but I have followed your posts to others which is so thoughtful and wise. I am sorry you are headed down the D path. I've been S/D for over 8 years and on these boards just as long, and I can tell you, while the reason we are here stinks, there really is so much on the other side. I really appreciate you coming to post over here showing me your support. I come back to help, but not everyone can be helped, I need to remember that sometimes. My profession has shown that to me in the past, likewise, but we still try, right?
You'll see me again soon, I'm sure. But I just need to just switch my focus for a bit.
Ginger, I want to apologize for the comments that the poster posted to you. They were uncalled for. Please do not allow his comments to bother you.
I'm going to miss you, but I know you will return when you are ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, thank you, but you don't have to apologize for his poor behavior. I know you mean you are are sorry if it hurt me and I appreciate that.
I think I know first hand that the people behind the keyboard are real people. Their spouses and kids are real people. I rarely ever get offended any more these days, and he is offensive. When I tried to help, honestly, all I could think about is his poor wife and kids. I had hoped he wouldn't dismiss every word of what I had to say (which was clearly done because I am a woman, from a broken home, who didn't save her M) for the sake of his wife and kids. Took it way too personally. Thank God there are people like you with the patience of Saints:)
Originally Posted By: Mach1
SH...
Just want to say that I think you are a class act...
Job..
Thank you for your words yesterday, much appreciated.
Wanted to swing by to say "hey!"....don't let some newbie knucklehead knock you off your game. You are spectacular as you are now. Don't ever forget that, honey.
SH... Just want to say that I think you are a class act...
Thank you Mach1.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
G,
Wanted to swing by to say "hey!"....don't let some newbie knucklehead knock you off your game. You are spectacular as you are now. Don't ever forget that, honey.
Very well said Wonka. The use of the term "knucklehead" is much more PC than the term I simply had to refrain from writing due to the censors.
Ginger, it's the fixer or helper inside you and me that drives us to try and help where we are resisted the most. Not a bad trait IMO, but it does wear one out at a point. There are many more here that will benefit from your wisdom, experiences and kind heart. You will draw energy from them when you are return.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
I am doing a real crappy job of leaving, aren't I?
He is not the sole reason I am taking a leave of absence. I wish I could see him as just a poster. But I can't stop envisioning his ex wife and his kids. They are real.
Too close to home.
SH- you nailed it, I am a fixer by nature. And I reach to fix the difficult to fix. hence the people I have dated and married. lol. It's not that I ever want to change someone, but if I could help, I want to help.
I think for just a little while, I want to step away from being divorced single mom Ginger. It is a big part of who I am, but when it becomes my only identity, I know I need to step back.
I need to be just Ginger for a little while (with the mom part, that's my favorite part of my being).
And I big step I really want to take in that direction is I want to buy my own home. I admitted to my IC last night, that aside from my not so stellar credit, which is finally improving and lack of down payment, I have not considered buying a home, because I was pretty convinced I would meet someone and build a life with them in a house together. Well, it didn't happen. I throw away a massive amount of money a month in rent. It is extremely important to me and my daughter to have security, because I don't want her hopping school systems God forbid I don't have a place in our town to rent. I live in this rental, but it doesn't feel like home. Home is what you make it, I know, but it just feel like mine. It feels so temporary.
So, I'm going to ask my dad for help on a downpayment. We had talked about it once before. I am not good at asking for anything, let alone something this big.
I think I need to really do this to let go of that tiny little part that keeps holding on for a future I envisioned that isn't my reality. I've got make my reality. My own home is a dream and I want to make it happen.
Just wanted to say hi and to tell you that the advice you gave on the MLC forum was honest and forthcoming. Sometimes we get newbies that just can't see two steps in front of them and they kick and scream for a long time and then one day, they realize that they truly need people like us to listen and help them.
Keep up the good work and we all know that your thoughts, advice and pearls of wisdom come from the heart.
If you are thinking about purchasing a home, look into the HARP program. I know of several people who didn't have down payments and found homes that are within reason when it comes to mortgage payments. Now is the time to look into this program.
Please take care of yourself!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
