Oh - and a big thank you to you Cherry who was there for me the one other time that I fell of the bridge. I call dibs on being an honorary grandpa to your wee baby when it arrives. I can them them stories about how their mommy protected me from the trolls and then fed me churros y chocolaté for my tea.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Many of us are able to guess (accurately) what your wife is up to because we've gone through the same experiences ourselves. We can see from the outside what is going on and it's much easier for us because we aren't in the middle of it all with emotions involved.
As for facebook, go to her page, scroll over "friends" and uncheck "get notifications." That will stop facebook from notifying you every time she does something.
With respect to what my W is up to, going into imaginary details of her having sex with OM is extremely unhelpful to my mental state much less using profanity and rudeness to "make their point". Calling me "buddy" doesn't make it all better. Realistically it makes absolutely no difference to ME which is what this is really about right now other than adding further stress and pain on to a man who is already in a very fragile state. It certainly doesn't strengthen my resolve to stand firm.
I don't know what any of this has to do with what I said. I don't use profanity and I've never called you buddy.
Originally Posted By: AndrewP
With Facebook - For once and for all PLEASE - I did that already quite some time ago. Can we PLEASE stop now?
I'd really not want to back away from here again but if people keep re-iterating things THAT I ALREADY KNOW AND HAVE ALREADY ADDRESSED AS BEST AS I CAN I fail to see how this is at all helpful to me.
We've now already consumed multiple pages on my thread with this crap. How about we all move on now - OK?
I'm sorry that I missed the post that said you figured out how to turn the notifications off. Just trying to help. I unfollowed a friend awhile back. It wasn't until yesterday when I did what I posted earlier that I stopped getting the notifications.
dream - sorry - the profanity comment was aimed at someone who I took to be a troll. You have always been a voice of calm reason for me. And you can call me "buddy" if you want
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Personally I don't know why you thought Vapo and others were giving you a hard time. No one told you to move on with someone else and no one told you to give up. Moving on doesn't mean to give up. It means to not obsess over your W and your sitch which is what you're doing. That's why you're getting sensitive. Everyone means well and have apologized where I didn't think they needed to.
In terms of the censored word, he just said "s*ck" which I'm not sure why is censored any way.
I get it that you're in a fragile state but you have to understand that not everyone has been able to wade through all of your 380+ posts. Losing control doesn't help your sitch.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
You are gonna have to develop some way thicker skin to get through this....
IF....people here (who are trying to actually help you) can get under your skin that easily...
Then I can't imagine how quickly your spouse can get under your skin...
The possibility of YOU spiraling downward during a conversation would be much higher...
Water....Ducks back...
Second...
I'm not gonna preach the detrimental aspects of following her on FB...
There has been enough banter about the topic.
What I can say is...
Every second that you spend wondering about her, what she is doing, who she is with, is time that you take away from the really important parts of YOUR life....
Time away from you, time away from kids, time away of really finding out who you are, what you like..
If you are getting information that you don't like, and it is hurting you....
Then stop....
That simple....
Stop asking questions that you don't want the answer to
It's been a long time since I was were you are, and the pain fades in time.
I don't remember the pain as much anymore....
What I do remember, is what I did to stop the pain....
Yep - and can we all please keep from dredging up the past and mind-reading me and over analyzing and please move forward?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Yep - and can we all please keep from dredging up the past and mind-reading me and over analyzing and please move forward?
AP - had not followed in a bit and during lunch thought I would read up on your sitch. We dump a whole lot of really honest thoughts and emotions down in this place. Talk it out man.
Here for you man, even if you are Canadian. (trust you to know I am joking, but in case not).
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
I didn't realize that you had such a firm grasp on whats goin on...
I'm not mind reading you, I am reading YOUR words...
Big difference there...
So what is it that you want to work on ??
Mach1/Mr. Bond
I never claimed to have a firm grasp on what's going on. I'm am lost, confused and scared. I'm just also very tired of being hit with the same things over and over again especially when it is done in an aggressive unhelpful fashion. I could go through your post and comments and that of Mr Bond in detail as I often do when people are kind enough to visit - and I especially have a lot of respect for vets like you that have chosen to visit my thread - but there is nothing to be achieved with that. I could go back through the last few pages of my thread that have been wasted by back and forth about absolutely nothing - but I'm not going to do that.
I'm dealing / have dealt with with those issues that you both and even Vapo brought up in many cases months ago in the best way that I can. I do appreciate your visit and I hope you come to call again when there is something actually happening here. Yes perhaps my dealing with it is buried in the 300+ posts that I have made - and should perhaps stay buried. I know that it is the nature of a venue like this that comments and issues get cherry-picked because it is in fact difficult to get context and history and yes I could perhaps have a thicker skin. The past is what it is, the future is unknown and I'm just trying to live in the present.
What do I not want to work on that are dead topics? - Yes my wife is having an A - Yes the A involves her having sex - Yes I spent far too much time pursuing her before I found this forum - Yes I obsessed over her FB but have now stopped some time ago - Yes I can only fix me and not her - Yes I need to do a better job on GAL - Yes I need to detach further from my W who I haven't had a conversation with in over a month but is still always in my thoughts - Yes I have stopped asking my adult children about their mother (surprised that chestnut didn't get dredged up) - Yes someone came on to my thread in a very troll-like (to me) fashion, proceeded to use obscenities and was very rude and I defended myself from the perceived attack. I do consider [censored] to be a rude word BTW and the reply that was given in a condescending way that the comments he bestowed were too advanced for me I also found offensive. I am grateful that he (she) has said that they will no longer post on my thread.
What do I want to work on? I'm working on surviving. I'm working on me. I'm working on detaching even further from W. Occasionally something will happen that I feel is worth journaling like my IC session today or when I hear a rumour or have a general observation or question but really - I'm not going to bother right now.
Now as the title of my thread suggests, I'm waiting for something to "actually" happen from W and in the mean-time taking care of myself and trying my best to grow into an independent human being while taking some of my own time like yourselves out of my day to provide what comfort and support I can to others who have gathered in our little club.
Last edited by sgctxok; 09/28/1605:53 PM.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
