Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #2]

[Surfer]

"MY WW has two best friends living in her hometown."

Sounds like your W has friends like my W's. Horrible people that add more poison to the sitch. Tsk..I bet they would all float - fetch me my ducking stool now!

[Surfer]

How do you know how many are on your thread? i.e 98??

[ForGump]

How do you know how many are on your thread? i.e 98??

By default we get 10 posts per page. So if you 10 pages on your thread, and the last page has 8 posts, you've got 98.

BTW, you can change # of posts per page by going to "My Stuff" -> "Edit Preferences"

[ForGump]

I'd be happy to answer your questions about the differences between a MLCer and WAS. Later on tonight will give you a more detailed response.

Wonka: I'd like to understand the difference between an MLC and WW, i.e., wayward -- not walkaway/WAS. Thanks. I look forward to your post.

My W seems to fit the model, "she's having a MLC, which led her to become wayward." I'm wondering if she might be just WW without the MLC component.

I realize these are just models of people's complex personalities and behaviors, but it helps me think and understand what's going on.

[ForGump]

Hi Gump, did she end her EA? I'm no expert and I am sure Sandi would have her thoughts on this but do you think at the moment (and sorry if I sound harsh) she is mourning the EA that is why she is still on the path to D?

It's not harsh -- but I need harsh right now to stay on track, to stay strong.

The two EA's noted in my sig were w/ the same guy and both were delusional, one-sided infatuations. Although they were one-sided fantasies, they were emotionally full-blown infatuations. Anyhow, those particular EA ended.

Judging by her secretiveness w/ her computer use and cell phone use, I think there is another EA or a PA. I think a PA is somewhat unlikely but I don't want to be so naive to say it's not possible. If a PA, it was/is one-evening type of stuff, not repeated. I have not snooped so I don't know anything.

The EA's gave my W a taste of what romantic/sexual excitement is like outside of our boring marriage, so I think that's what drives her to pursue a D.

[ForGump]

Have you detached?

In my own mind, not quite. When I'm away from home, I don't count the hours pining for her. But at home, every time I see her or smell her in a room, my mind goes crazy wanting her. I SWEAR she is pumping out pheromones because she's a WW on the prowl.

But I think I've done a fair job of appearing detached. I have not talked about R at all. I don't initiate conversations other than friendly greetings when I come and go. Don't initiate text or emails, except brief ones regarding children and family dinners.

[Surfer]

Got it. Thanks.

[Surfer]

FG. Get the wanting. Giving 'not a sh!t' is they key and staying distant. Small things like her smelling good, looking good, being nice etc will pull you back. But don't allow it.

First learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule Daniel son, not mine” - Mr. Miyagi

[Surfer]

Looking forward to hearing Wonka. If this was 'pay per view' I would subscribe - at market affordable rates of course....

[Surfer]

Hilarious. Found loads of Mr Miyagi quotes. Yoda is next... Lol.

Either you karate [DB] do "yes" or karate [DB] do "no." You karate [DB] do "guess so," (get squished) just like grape." - Mr. Miyagi