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Uphill Offline OP
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Update. Had a very long talk, visit with XF yesterday. I am happy as well as a bit guarded to let everybody know that we are going to be giving this a shot. It's gonna be a long road but I feel confident that she is willing to put the work in that it's gonna take. Only time will tell where this leads, but it's a path I feel like I owe myself to take a chance on. Wish me luck!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Uphill - that's fabulous news! Best of luck indeed.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Good luck.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Good luck uphill.


ME- 31 W-25
T-5 M-3
D2
ILYBNILWY and moved out - FEB16
W seeing someone else - JUL16
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Good luck buddy, keep up the journalling as it is a help and inspiration to us all


M 10, T 18
M: 36, W: 35, D: 8, S: 6
EA: Oct 12
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: Aug 15
Separated: Sep 15
Miss you: Jun 16
Aug 16: Dating (!)
Oct 16: Selfishness returns...
currently: disgusted
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Uphill Offline OP
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I plan to keep everybody posted. Spending today processing everything on my couch. I'm sure I'll have many questions for everybody as this moves forward. For now, we are gonna be dating while keeping our son shielded from it so he doesn't get any more confused at this point.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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RSG Offline
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Good luck buddy. We're in your corner!!


Me: 35 W: 32
S: 4
T: 6 M: 4
Physical Separation official: 5/21
Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son

Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
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Boo. puke. puke. being pulled back into the madness when you have reached a good point is not encouraging to me at all. 8p~

I wish you all the best and hope you stand firm in what she needs to do to work back in to the M.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
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Uphill Offline OP
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I read this last night and wanted to sleep on it before replying
Originally Posted By: Natus
Boo. puke. puke. being pulled back into the madness when you have reached a good point is not encouraging to me at all. 8p~

I wish you all the best and hope you stand firm in what she needs to do to work back in to the M.


I'm not sure how to really read into this but I do want to say a few things about it. DBing, is about saving yourself. Getting through the roughest part of your life and this board is just a safe place for all of us to come to vent and get advice. Over the past year, I have done exactly that. I am a completely different person than I was when arriving here. Anybody who has been here since the beginning of this will tell you the same thing.

With that said, the primary reason most, if not all of us ended up here was by googling "how to save my relationship". Over time, that became a secondary reason due to learning that I had to save myself. BUT it is still what I fought and stood for, for a long time. Now that the main goal (saving myself) has been accomplished, and the oppourtunity came about to possibly make my family whole again, I feel I owe it to myself and my son to give it my all.

I am at the point in life that I don't NEED to be with her anymore. I'm not obsessing, losing sleep, not eating.... I'm living life and as long as she can prove that she is serious about this, I want to share it with her.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,654
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You don't need to justify yourself. Your life your decision.II wish you well and I hope your W can do the necessary to have a fully committed R together.


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together
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