Need help please

[albac]

Yeah it was a bad week to say the least. I don't know why she chose that day as she had been seeing him for 6 weeks (who knows if that's true) I was 6 months into separation thought I was getting better at DB was GALing and starting to feel like I had a life again. And in 2 minutes I was plunged back to where I was at the start.

Good news is I really don't think I can get lower then where I am.
As for GAL Mules, I am going OT for dinner with friends this weekend and I am about to go for a big run right now to relieve some stress.

I have things I can do to GAL but just at the moment I am in a semi state of crisis and shock. I'm not falling apart but my energy to want to do things and even just eating food it's all gone, I know the feeling well it's the same as the day she left and the day she took all her things. The hits just keep coming.

All I can say to others is no matter how well you feel you are detaching and healing try to prepare yourself as much as possible. I haven't contact W since she told me about OM it's really not that hard for me I dorm have the feeling that I need to contact her like so many others do. In my eyes I have done all I can and can hold my head up high, for her to do what she has done means that right now she doesn't care about me so why would I waste energy chasing her or wanting to be around her.

Stay strong everyone.

[ForGump]

I'm not falling apart but my energy to want to do things and even just eating food it's all gone,

Same here. All my favorite pastimes and hobbies became uninteresting. My pants are literally falling off my waist because of weight loss, and I have little appetite -- I can feel that my body is hungry, but whereas before hunger felt unpleasant, now hunger just feels ... neutral. The only thing that feels good is to lie down and fall asleep, except I wake at 4am and my head fills with thoughts of my marriage breaking up, and I can't sleep any more. My doctor gave me some pills that helped me sleep through the night -- I think I need a refill.

[albac]

Gump, that is word for word the same as I feel. I felt this was at the start and now it's hit me again. The good news is it does get better.

I have resisted sleeping tablets don't really know why but I guess it's just my own battle and I don't want to not take them.

It's a wild roller coaster at the moment some times I'm thinking how much I miss and love my W next minute I'm thinking someone that could do these things to you is not someone you want anything to do with let her go and move on. And this is where the sleepless nights come into play as you flip between feelings and scenarios.

Would be so easy if we were built with a sleep switch so we could just turn our brain off.

Stay strong Gump we will come out the other side stronger.

[ForGump]

I also hesitate to take meds, but I just got to a point where I felt I needed to set my pride (about relying on meds) aside, and just do what I needed to do to be a good Dad and perform reasonably at my job. I had no trouble falling asleep because I was so tired, but had trouble staying asleep til morning. My doctor prescribed clonazepam, and it worked really well, but I only took it as needed.

[albac]

Yeah we need to do what ever it takes Gump,

I am very much the same can get to sleep because I'm exhausted but as soon as I wake for a second it's like my mind was just paused on thinking about her and it hits play instantly.

I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse or maybe just helps me deal with the situation better but my W seems to be spiraling downwards at the moment. I know it's not my problem and I don't waste time thinking about t but it does give me some form of hope that she will realize she was unhappy in herself and it was ALL me, time will tell.

Spent lots of time with my D this weekend and it's been great I'm always smiling when I'm with her.

Stay strong and enjoy your weekend everyone.

[ForGump]

I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse or maybe just helps me deal with the situation better but my W seems to be spiraling downwards at the moment.

Not that we should revel in our W's suffering but if the spiral is a part of her waking up to the realities -- of the damage she is doing to everyone involved -- then it's a good thing, right?

I'm sure it's sad to see someone you love/used to love go through it though. I hate to see it happen w/ my W, but I think that's what she's set herself up for (and those around her)....

[albac]

It is very hard in all aspects Gump. One of my biggest worries is that when she finally hits rock bottom and realizes what she's done that I might not love her anymore and have moved on. So much to think about but compare to last week when she told me about OM to now I feel so much better and the main reason being self evaluation.

I know I have a solid job earning good money, a house for my D and am as for as I have ever been in my life.

I want my W back more then anything else but if she doesn't come back I will actually be better of in all other aspects of my life. So hard to deal with all these things.

[albac]

Having a rough day and wondering if anyone can give me some advice.

I don't normally post about daily goings on but I might just need a 2x4 to keep me on track. After my W left 6 months ago she has now told me 2 weeks ago she is seeing someone else which has destroyed me again and to add to that told me on my D2 birthday and then my W birthday was 2 days later. Very much the worst week of my life to date.

So since finding out about OM have changed my approach. Previously we were doing things as a family and I was very much available to my W which I now can see was a big mistake she was allowed to eat massive amounts of cake.

When she told me about OM she was very surprised I was upset as she thought I was over her and had moved on... She even cried when I told her I wasn't. I broke down pretty bad and I said "I wish I didn't love you" she replied " I wish I did love you it would make things so much easier"

Anyway so from that day I have tried to lay low and only talk about D2 and minimal contact. She tells me it's over and to move on but rings me almost everyday and always texts and sends photos everyday about irrelevant things.

She rang me 4 times this morning, I ignored the first 3 then answered to 4th. Again it was boring important just a question about when my D2 had done the day before. Then I wrap it up quickly. 10 minutes later she rings again and I'm driving heading out again nothing important a quick update that my D2 looks like she's getting a cold. The. Proceeds to talk for another 10 minutes about everything going on in her life and I just validated and gave nothing about myself.

She then asked where I was going and what I was doing, I told her I had a doctors appointment she asked if I was ok I said yes I'm fine. Then she continues to talk about her life and complains now she has started a college degree she is sad she is seeing our D2 less and it hurts. And here I am getting to see my D2 1 day a week I had no sympathy when she realized what she said she then says " oh I probably shouldn't complain to you about not seeing D2 enough" then she says you are welcome to see her anytime just come over or send me a text "IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU HATE ME you can still see her whenever you want" I just said "ok" and that was when the call was over.

She constantly says I don't care if you hate me or it's fine if you hate me, yet contacts me all the time! I'm so confused by all this. Has anyone had similar happen?

[ForGump]

I know I have a solid job earning good money, a house for my D ... if she doesn't come back I will actually be better of in all other aspects of my life.

You probably know this but your WW/WAW doesn't give $#@! about that. Her head is completely elsewhere. She doesn't care about those practical benefits.... Just speaking from my own experience, where my WW/MLC has really poor life skills/financial skills... but she doesn't care....

[ForGump]

After my W left 6 months ago she has now told me 2 weeks ago she is seeing someone else ...

Truly 5ucks. That is my ultimate nightmare.... I wonder why she felt she needed to tell you that info? ... but then it sounds like she's still very engaged with you as a friend. I hate to say this because I think I'm in a similar situation myself but I think you have to do a more complete job of detaching yourself and going dark. Don't let her think you're still her best friend. She'll keep seeing you as in a "brother-sister" relationship. She's still emotionally cake-eating by leaning on you for emotional support.

"Even if you hate me" ... all that talk sounds like she's trying to soothe her own guilt.

Remind me ... how come you only got 1 day access to your D2? Why not 3.5 days, 50-50 custody?