It probably will be more effective to your cause than actually going. w will most likely reflect more on you not wanting to go, than all interactions throughout the meal.
Regardless of if/how W reflects on that, you do what is best for you. IMO you choose rightly.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Thanks Roist. I read your comments on many threads and always find them insightful.
Funny you say 'more effective to your cause'. I am not even sure what that 'cause' is anymore. All I know is that I think my next relationship, either with WW or not will be great. I feel confident I can be happy with someone other than WW which is nice.
I did wake up to texts from WW this morn. Not about our anniversary but about the news story from Disney. We are both Disney nuts. It was a friendly text back and forth. She didn't mention our anniversary and neither did I. I don't really know what to say about it anyway. 'Happy Anniversary'... no I don't think so.
Had dinner and walked around the city with WW tonight. It was nice. No relationship talk, which is fine, I hate relationship talk anyway. I have given up trying to figure out what exactly is going on here. I have no clue what is going on in her mind. I still feel the same. I am good either way. I want to push the issue as we are coming up on a year but think it could do damage... but I am not sure there is anything there to damage. I wasn't thinking or worrying about it during dinner though.
I can't believe BD is a year next week. What a crazy crazy year.
A year ago this time I was asleep not knowing what was in store for me the next morning. That was an incredibly fast year. I remember coming here and reading stories of people who had been at it a year or longer. I couldn't believe they were still battling and now I am one of them.
I thought for sure I would be divorced by now back then. When WW and I were in NC from mid August through early Nov, every trip to the mail box was a bit nerve wracking. Now, a year later, I am in no closer to D then I was on that day. I think I might be further from it... I don't know. The only thing I know is that there is no way I can predict the next year of my life. I'll continue my GAL'ing, continue living life. When WW and I get together, I'll enjoy it without an eye to the future. If she wants to talk relationship, we can do that.
ugh... feeling down. Funny how it comes and goes. Haven't felt like this for a while. Every time I feel like this, my mind always starts thinking about going through with D. It's happened a few times and you can see it in my threads. Super frustrated right now.
It is weird, our anniversary came, I was fine... BD anniversary came, again I was fine, but the July 4th weekend (which was also my birthday weekend) just brought me down. I think the memories keep coming back from a year ago and they get to me.
I got super frustrated with WW this weekend. She was up here in my area for most of it but didn't stop by. We had talked about getting together Monday afternoon and she said she would let me know on Sat. Well she didn't and I didn't pursue and ended up making plans for Monday. Midday Monday she asks if I want to get dinner naturally.
I think I am pursuing too much. It is pry a 80/20 split at the moment. Maybe I need to go back to my early DB'ing days. Maybe I should re-read DR... I think I would have a different perspective now. I feel like she is on the fence. I can tell when she swings to one side or the other. Right now it seems like she is on the other side. I am just ready for this to be over. We have no children so I am not sure what the reason is to wait. ugh
Hi pinn! Just checking in to see how you are doing these days. I hope the ick feeling you last shared with us has passed.
I think it's great that you remain very self aware and seem to be able to consistently check yourself. If only all our ex's had this level of awareness!
Take care! Ps- how's training going?
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Thanks for checking in Feyth! Yea those feelings are gone now. You know how it is... they come and go. Luckily the good days vastly out number the bad days now. I stepped back and re-evaluated what I was doing. I was starting to lose the distancer/pursuer game. So I am back to distance. Went no contact for a weekish until she texted me about marathons (of course she is doing the half that corresponds to my full marathon!). Now back to distance. I feel much better not talking to her much.
Training is good!! I am in tip top shape now and I feel great. Invisalign comes off in a few weeks! I decided to push the tri stuff until next summer. With the new job and marathon training, I didn't have the time. I am hoping to qualify for Boston with this marathon in October! It'll be close. In the winter, I'll work on swimming and then in the spring get going on the bike. You should come up north and do a race! All my new crazy tri friends are doing an iron man at Lake Placid next weekend. I almost went up with them to check it out! Crazy bunch these tri folks. I like it!
I started to poke around an online dating site. Just to check it out. I was happy to see so many women into fitness, running, tri's etc. I'll be fine.
have fun.