Ginger, happy to read your update. Glad you enjoyed the vacay, and good for you for getting back into dating. You made me laugh with the "dating is like a strategical, complicated mission". I feel that way and my kids are much older. But it's a lot harder than when we were 20-something, isn't it?
Hey G, You're on the right track for sure. And checking him out is really important. You need to protect yourself and little G. And he sounds like a great catch! There are healthy ways to handle dating after the loss of a spouse. Think how he must feel. Scared no doubt. Protective of his kids too.
But it's adult time you need. Just go and have fun and see if you are compatible. Don't think beyond that date other than if you'd like to see him again. Live in the moment.
Sunny, I married my first real boyfriend who I started dating when I was 18 or 19! I began dating in my late 20's, divorced, with a baby. It was honestly so difficult and draining I chose not to date for quite sometime. I was just trying to survive some of the time, other times, I think I enjoyed being single, and just having my baby to worry about. But a woman has needs! And that includes emotional needs. I guess as life calmed down a bit, I realized how much I missed having someone to come home to. I am not liking my empty bed as I once did. But starting from scratch over and over is tiring.
I turn 36 on Friday. Each year that another birthday comes and I am still single stings a bit. Giving the definite "no" when asked if I plan on having anymore kids makes me sad a little, but I do not plan to have anymore.Ex NG's daughter gave me the capcity to know I can love someone elses child very much. I realize at this age I am craving that security and comfort I have never known from a man. I let myself envision stability and a home and a family with exNG (even if he was all over the place and it wasn't real). I am now pretty hungry for it. But I have to give it up to the universe.
That's the opposite of living in the moment, isn't it Barb? LOL! I do think about the future often. But even if we have the stability, nothing is guaranteed, and I do know that.
Sorry, I am getting more thoughtful as my birthday approaches.Happens every year. But also very grateful. 2 years ago I was just laid off from a job a this time. I am now gainfully employed.
Oh, here I will end with this. my BFF and I brought our daugters to dinner with another friend tonight. we were in the car and I said something and D8 said " Mommy likes a boy!" I said " I like lots of boys!" She then says "well, why don't you ever get any, then?"
I had just turned 49 when I met K. Don't let age get in the way it means very little. It will happen when it happens. And it will happen when you least expect it to happen. He will be right there right place and right time. I like that you know what you want and that it is not a need. Keep doing what you are doing and have fun.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Ginger, I knew you were younger than me, but I didn't realize just how young you were when you were D. I met mr p when I was 22, but we were together 28 years. That's why I said dating now is really different than dating in my 20s - I have 30 years and three kids in between dates, LOL. But no matter what age, there are challenges, and I'm hoping it will be worth it for both of us. Happy Birthday a day early, I hope your day tomorrow is wonderful in many ways.
It's Friday where I am now, so Happy Birthday, Ginger!
If it's of any comfort to you, I am older and dating as a D woman with a kid, at my age in my country, is as easy as I don't know, scaling some mountains in high heels?
But hey I have read of someone doing just that. So, who knows?
Have a great day! You deserve it!
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just remember this the guys that were cute when you were 19 are still cute and some of them single.
If you want to date then you will need a populated pool of potential mates, that means a car mechanics class not sewing. It means dancing the jive not dancing ballet. Going to football not netball.
There are guys out there keen to meet a woman like Ginger and don't know how to. They are going to iron man not yoga. So as a savvy confident woman reach out.
If you want a drunk go to a bar, if you want a gambling man go to a casino, if you want a man with the ginger spirit go where there are likely to be healthy men with caringredients attitudes. Single parents groups, church and volunteering. There you will meet others who will invite you to events, social circles will widen.
Remember you only need one guy you like who likes you.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
