... she called me again today looking for something in the house, and in the process brought up the 60 day timeframe again, mentioning, "we have 60 days to get better and stop this, otherwise we have failed in our marriage, something that will live with us forever"... I'm not "reading into it"... but wtf? frickin' wacko! lol
So clearly your wife if controlling and manipulative as well And she uses that to try and get what she wants Problem is she doesn't know what she wants She just is just angry right now Which is why I said I wouldn't go into the MBR Like I said I don't have the answer But if I was you I would repeat back to her what she said and use that to try and go to MC again Because it really seems like y'all need some communication help
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
True cbtdad. She is showing weakness by bringing up the crumbling M. IT MAY ALSO BE TO HOOK YOU!
If you do not follow through on her request then you show her that you have a place in your heart for her, even though she is wayward. It will show an acceptance for her behaviour, and very little tough love.
I would not drag out the D process, but i would let her initiate everything. She wants it, then she can do he hard work. Sit back and relax. You have 60 days to save yourself.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I already sent the email for "banking transparency" to her and cc'd her attorney: it includes all financial account logins and passwords, even the two new ones I created this week in my name only".
the email stated something like "here is the financial transparency that we talked about, it includes all logins to old, and new bank accounts for her to view/monitor if she chooses. I'll have the financial verification document finished and sent over in a few hours so you can start the filing process."
(I enabled text verification for all transfers from account to account on the new ones - which is where direct deposit is now going).
I think she'll be shocked when she receives/reads the email. If she's not, no harm done, and it's just another step in the process. But I'm sure she was thinking I would take as long as possible to do this (I think legally it's 45 days once filed.) And as much as I want to save this, if I can't do it, or if she's not willing to try with me, 60 days should be all I need. and if I change my mind, I can always drag it out by disagreeing terms.
Is the best process here to return the papers asap and say here ya go, as in "I see your two pair, and I'm not scared". Or do I drag out every single request for as long as possible to try and extend everything single I have control over?
The best process is to do what is best for you. If you have time, fill them out. I dont see any reason to "drag things out", but I also dont see a reason that you need to jump on everything immediately.
I'm a big believer in helping the WW toward her goals because it seems to be a faster path to the realization that the fantasy is incongruent with reality and it's not what's expected from you.
Check out LiM's thread if you get a chance. His situation was a little different, but he's got a lot of good info on his thread.
I'm also a big believer in drawing mustaches on sleeping WWs.
