Focus on Me and my boys 2

[J5K]

Painter,

Best for the children: I wish I could answer this one, this will be based off of the psych eval. Difficult to decide based on how quickly our family was growing and how rigid STBX was with the boys schedule and how busy I was at work.

Life will be different in a split household and you need to have an opinion on this based on your insight as a parent.

Yes it will be different. Much more difficult for a parent to manage but I have a plan for assistance and taking care of my boys.

Socially established: She never took them anywhere other than the gym. They now have to move to a new school next fall so they are losing all their friends at the current school.
They have 5 cousins in Michigan and one cousin in Toronto.

I'm confused. You say they now have to move to a new school - is that in Michigan they are changing schools? Or are you using language as if you have already lost and they will move to Canada?

Yes they will have to move to a new school either in Michigan or Canada because the marital home in Michigan is sold and I will have to find a new home closer to my family which will be better for the boys and myself in the long run. Better school system where I am considering moving.

Because if you are talking as if you have already lost and WW has won, you should be careful with that. Using language that describes the result you do not want, shapes the outcome. If you have already decided to give in, why are you spending 10k on a L? Sorry for the 2x4 but you sound defeated and you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps here if you want to keep the boys where they are.

Obviously, your kids are socially established with school and family, so that's a NO TO MOVING.

I am protecting my boys and me since she wants out of the MR.

I can provide similarly here in Michigan. In Toronto, I am sure it will be the same since MIL will help with the new house.

Similarly to what in Michigan? I asked - can you get the same type of job with the same income in Canada? Grandparents have no support obligation and is not included in these considerations. So NO TO MOVING.

Yes I can have the same pay in US dollars if I move to Canada and equal position within my company. Cost of living is 25% higher in Toronto.

I did some research for Ontario, Canada. Always favors SAHM. Canadian courts typically support decisions made out of their jurisdiction unless there is a compelling reason to change.

The only difference between Canadian system and Michigan is spousal support. Most likely she would get spousal support her whole life or until she remarries. In Michigan, spousal support would most likely be for a short time since we are married less than 10 years.

So more compelling reason for NO TO MOVING.

Yes agree.

[J5K]

Just received message from London. We has filed motion to change parenting schedule. Let does not think judge will approve and is also going to talk to psychologist. Geez!

Sorry this should have said L not London. LOL!

[CWOL]

No brainer, stay in Michigan, don't move to Toronto.

[J5K]

Well just checked my checking account and savings.

By the time I pay L fees and credit card this month my family will have about $2K in the bank account. Still have to put money down for apartment and June 3rd all the money from the house goes into escrow.

I am so upset that we are burning all this money on Ls. My STBX kept saying lets work this out but it was only on her terms.

I am so numb to this whole thing. Feel like I am losing and putting my family into poverty. Please God I pray that you will keep my boys safe and they will have a roof over their head that I can provide no matter where they live.

[Painter]

Jim, is she paying for her own L or are her parents?

It sounds like it is a very, very expensive process. I hope you are not being taken advantage of by your L.

[J5K]

No money for her L is coming out of our joint account.

[J5K]

Well, signed the lease on the apartment. Now just have to get movers.

Big things going on next week.

Wed STBX and I have to go to court since she filed motion to take boys to Toronto for the summer and me visit every other weekend.

Thurs - Move into new place

Friday - Forced to sign and sell marital home.

I hope I can make through this turmoil.

[bigybiz]

JimKao:

Good luck with the new place - I hope it will be full of positive energy. Yes, you can make it through this turmoil.

BTW - I'm in Toronto so if you come into town early for one of your visit, etc I'd love connect with you and put a face to the handle.

[J5K]

bigybiz,

Sounds good. Will definitely let you know next time I am there!

[J5K]

So tomorrow afternoon S6 graduates from Kindergarten.

STBX sends text today asking if I am going and taking a guest?
I respond with I plan on going.

I plan on sitting next to STBX only because S6 has been very affected by the D so I want to make sure he ends the day on a positive note.

STBX will also be happy because she will get to leave and go back to Toronto early. She wants me home at 145 to exchange cars so she can just leave from S6's school at 4pm. Wow!

Guess we will see how things play out tomorrow and I will have to react accordingly. This will be the first time we are together for more than 5 minutes (well outside of court) since we had lunch as a family at the end of March.