I've get the sleeping problems too. I've actually lost weight because of it. Yaay?
Ended up asking doc for something to help me sleep and got prescribed some xanax.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I just feel so lost, even though i know i'm not. its so strange really... I know that what she's doing is becos of the fog. It really just means that I have to live my life alone, and with our S for now.
I refer again to what Cadet posted to ahmed; most marriages are over at BD, only problem is that the LBS does not want to believe it.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I'm spinning a little as this all sinks in. Just gonna feel it. She was saying earlier that she misses being intimate with me - its now 12 days, the longest break in sex since we met!
The breaks just gonna get longer and longer until my feelings change hey :-) I'm looking forward to that day.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Huff, buddy, I hope you have a game plan, but it sure does seem to me you are using sex as a weapon. You are basically applying female warfare tactics.
As for your W wanting sex, women usually do not want to have sex with the husband, if they are getting it elsewhere. So your W wanting to have sex with you is IMO a good sign. I think (IMO) you should take one for the team.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I'm going to meet with a child mediator next week just to see if me deserting jeopardises any custody claim, if needed. Will aim for a 7/7 split if we ever get there but need to know my rights.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
As for your W wanting sex, women usually do not want to have sex with the husband, if they are getting it elsewhere. So your W wanting to have sex with you is IMO a good sign. I think (IMO) you should take one for the team.
I really do not see the harm here...
But as I said before, you know your W best...
DDJ - I can't speak for your sitch but in our marriage we have often gone weeks without sex. My WW has mobility and pain issues and sex while very important to me hasn't been a priority for her. I've rarely pushed for it.
However, sex is an act that will "bind" you to her and give her control over you and she will know that she has that control. Unless your sex is of the "wham bam" sort which would be counter-productive I think.
My opinion? Take a cold shower, think about losing football teams and keep your bloody pants on until you are SURE that she is looking to start piecing things back together. If you "take one for the team" - your team will lose.
On the other hand - I know that I would really struggle if my WW came to me with an offer of sex and just hope that I can be strong enough myself to make sure that she's not just trying to manipulate me because she KNOWS what it does to me.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Detach (from WW and lose control) • Do not start 100% of all conversations • Do not get drawn into 100% of all possible arguments • Do not check Tracker when my WW is out • Keep my phone off when my WW is out • Consciously remove control over others when I interact with them • Do not react to anything anyone says or does, pause and then consider my response
Improve myself (GAL) • I need to go to gym at least 3 to 4 days a week. My gym bag must remain in the car so that I can simply state that “I’m going out”. • I need to stop eating junk-food, and actually start eating. I need to keep healthy snacks to boost my nutrition. • I need to get out every day that I can, even if it’s a drive to sit somewhere and soak up nature. I need to try and see more live sports and spend time with my long lost family and friends.
Understand boundaries and implement some • I think that I’m starting to get what boundaries are. The big emotional one will be no intimacy with my WW. The longer I can keep her off me, the stronger I will get. I will know that I will have achieved it if the day to sign the D papers come and I’ve still not given off.
Appreciate the little things
• I think that here I need to affirm my WW whenever she does anything that is not selfish, and is her going out of her way for me, or our son. Perhaps hitting 100% of affirmations, and understanding where I did not.
