And sorry that ex is trying to drag you into conflict again, I wouldn't be surprised if news of your engagement stirred him into this. Funny how they don't want us but they don't want anyone else top have us either?
(Funny story - last year my boyfriend met ex while we were all helping one of my kids move into a new apartment. Ex is 56, fit, 5'10", balding, graying white guy. BF is 6'3", built like a pro athlete, African-American, looks like Seal without the lupus. While they were temporarily alone together, BF thanked ex for divorcing me and freeing me up so BF could have me! Would have loved to have been a fly on that wall.)
wishing, It's so nice to come here and see that you've posted an update. Congratulations on your engagement! I'm very happy for you!
Well, your xh and the ow are still in the same place right where you left them. Nothing's changed w/them except maybe their age and weight. Oh, yeah, shoulder surgery. Yes, he wanted some sympathy from you...poor baby.
I hope he doesn't take you back to court for a change in visitation. If the kids are happy w/the arrangement as it is, then he should be too. Your kids are growing up so quickly and they sound like they are doing fine. Gosh, I can't believe it's been 2 years since your divorce. Time is flying!
I'm very happy that you and the kids are doing well and the new man in your life treats you well.
Please keep in touch and give those kids hugs for me!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I just heard from the bus driver that X talked to the kids about him going back to court to change visitation. So I guess the rumors are true. I would be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out about this. I am sure he has been gathering dirt on me these past two years. I just don't know what to expect. The kids don't want it to change, but I don't know what the courts will do. I dread going through it again. From what I understand he can submit a request, but I don't have to agree to it. If I don't agree they will send us to mediation all over again and if that doesn't work then another GAL and case study. I just feel like throwing up.
I am sure X knows I don't have the strength to go through this again and hopes I'll just give in.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
wishing/hoping, This is an icky situation, but you can be strong. I don't know if I am the best to give this advice. But i will pray for you and your situation.
wife of an addict M 39 H 39 D18 D 16 Together 19 M17
Thank you, TabD. I am sorry you find yourself here. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy…okay I would probably wish it on X. LOL.
Any encouragement you have is very welcome and appreciated. It has been over 4 years since my BD. I don't want my X any longer and can't even stand being around him for more than 30 seconds. And I am still being dragged into drama. Less than before, of course, because I stand back and refuse to help. It's time like this I wish I had a magic 8 ball that could tell me what to do.
X is even more delusional now that before, I'm afraid. S was telling me last night that now since the surgery his dad is on pills and they make him crazier than normal (S's words, not mine). Everyone in that house except for my kids are on some kind of medication.
But I'm just trying to stay level headed at the moment. It's very important when dealing with a nut case to stay level headed. Not sure if I should confront him or not? Maybe that's just what he wants.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Hi WH. Thank you for your update, congrats on your engagement and I am very sorry to hear your X plans about the kids. I am not sure where you live, but I am in California and was told by my lawyer that the courts listen to the kids now. If they really don't want more time with H, they may have a voice.
Good luck and best wishes.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
I live in Wisconsin. I was told the first time around the court doesn't like to get the kids involved. They didn't even speak to them the first time around. When I asked the GAL at what age the kids get a say, he said at 18.
I will talk to the kids and see what they really want. If they want to have the Sundays with their dad I will relent. If not, then I will say no.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Another update: I talked to S who said his dad's intent is to get what is rightfully his…namely his Sunday nights with his children. He told S that I screwed him out of those hours and it is only fair that he gets them back. Also, S said there may be some underlying medical condition with his father that is another reason he wants the kids for those 3 hours. I don't know what it possibly could be. S told me he can't tell me what it is until it is confirmed. I think X is looking for sympathy.
I asked S if he wanted to be with his dad during that time and he said no. I asked him if he said that to his dad and again he said no. I told S this could lead to an emotional and costly court battle which will in effect affect S and his sister. I don't know if he will have the courage to stand up to his father, and I don't really expect it to. I'm just not sure how this will play out.
NG says X sees me happy and is trying to ruin it. It will take more than that to ruin what I have with NG. He sure is a royal PITA though.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Your xh is jealous and resentful of all that you've accomplished and doesn't like the fact that you and the children are happy and that all of you are living as one big happy family w/the NG.
As for the health issue, he may be using emotional blackmail to get the children to stay over on Sunday nights. Even if he's got a health problem, that doesn't mean he "has" have the children on Sunday nights. I would think he would want some peace and quiet after they've been there to visit.
He's just not a happy camper and will do whatever it takes to try to ruin your happiness and one way to do that is thru the children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I wish he would find some other area to create conflict. My NG put it perfectly. He's trying to create a distraction. Not only a distraction to my happiness, but a distraction for himself because he isn't happy and he can't handle reality so he needs a distraction on which to focus. Sad, really. But I realize our entire marriage was like that. His whole life has been one huge distraction.
I wasn't sure if I should confront him on his intentions and get it out in the open or if I should just sit back and let him make a fool of himself, which he will undoubtedly do. My good friend tells me not to engage: that things will work themselves out.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
