Hi Sotto, Glad you are feeling better and chatting with NG. Cali's post was spot on for me also. I know what you mean about the limbo. It's irksome, isn't it? But there's not much to be done about it, so in my sitch I'm trying to give it as little power as possible.
Sounds like the week ahead will be great fun. Let us know how the salsa class goes! xoxoxo to you and Mom today.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Thanks RD, Job, Gwen and Bttrfly - I appreciate the moral support X
Well, an interesting day so far. Looks like we have someone who viewed the house and is interested enough to be raising specific queries about work we had done and the time frame for that.
H had already responded to the list of queries and copied me in. Problem was, his time frames were way off. He replied most of the works were done in 2006 - and we didn't buy the house until late 2008!
I had to do a quick email thanking H for his responses and clarifying we bought the house 2+ years after he stated. I wondered if I might get some comeback from that, but I got copied into a breezy reply saying Gosh, time flies - sorry for any confusion and thanks for clarifying.
Anyway, looks promising with these viewers, so we'll see.
Take care all xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sorry to be away for so long. I am alive, but as I posted to RD, I feel like just that... alive. I feel all sorts of things in each chunk of the day. I am like two people in one body right now. Will update soon and tell all about crazy.
Your tread is helpful and painful as well. Looking into different points of view for MLC or not MLC, closures and all beyond is so heart breaking.
There are so many things to weight during this time, I guess only time will help to heal some open wounds and make us whole again.
I feel you are doing fantastic and is moving along with a wonderful life, but I also understand when you are quite and the reality of S, D and a life you built being down to ashes hit hard and the heart has no place to run but just hide inside some echo of Whys that are unanswered.
I spoke w/my sister that lives in Brasil, last sunday and she asked me if I would guess what ghost called her from the land of the dead. I had no idea and mention some names and then she said that her XH (she is divorced for about 5years now) called her to wish happy mother's day and tell her how a wonderful mom and person she was, is and he is sure she will always be.
She mention that he has getting closer, wants to know if she needs anything, more helpful, etc. and then this. She was shocked, she said she didn't know what to say even.
He still lives with OW, but who knows what got into him and he is changing again. My sister has moved on long time ago but it disturbed her. Made her think and guess of what is going on with him. My sister has been alone for all this time and does not really want to be with anyone since she is still raising her daughter that is now 14years old.
So, lots to think and we just know nothing about tomorrow. Everything is possible even when it looks impossible.
But is there any reason to stop ourselves and just wait on what ifs ??? So we move forward and forward. I think that if at some point in time we just disconnect our hearts from the WS then the bad luck is theirs if they attempt to come back, it won't hurt us anymore.
And if we decide to take them back, it will be in a way of a new R, starting from some kind of beginning. Who knows, anything is possible as long as we are breathing.
I have been under the weather and thinking of how many times you just don't feel too good or have low energy to keep going and I found myself more often feeling like that.
I think that our bodies took so much punches in the last two years that we are still recovering and the body is still trying to get to a more healthy spot. We need to be gentle with ourselves or we will end up seriously sick.
As always I love reading your posts and love if you try some open swimming. I love water, I am even thinking that at some time in the future I want to move to Florida to be close to the water. Of course, I do not like open lake swimming, I really like the ocean and the surfing. Not sure if I would attempt so much as I did right now, too many years in Colorado put me into retirement.
Bttrfly, thanks....your good wishes worked and we accepted an offer on the house today! Kind of sad, but also glad to have things moving there. I don't like that the house has sat empty for so long and it will be nice that new people love it.
Pink, great to see a post from you Sweetie and I hope you'll update us on how things are going soon....I've missed my fiery friend and I'm glad you find my thread helpful (if painful sometimes too.) Yes I struggle a little with the whole razed to the ground and ashes thing. In many ways I'm pretty happy and busy with 'new life' things - and other times I can't quite believe it has all happened. Still, we move forward and time begins to heal all things.
I've been to a nice event with my ladies group tonight and bookstore tomorrow. Another friend has suggested a yoga retreat in the autumn which sounds nice. Already looking forward to next salsa class and had a nice little chat with guy from work (we were the only ones in the office for a bit today )
Reading some old threads posted by cadet, I noticed one which said with MLC, your strategy is really to out-wait the crisis and work on you - and that resonated. Can I out-wait the crisis. Truly I'm not sure. MWD posted today about seeking a partner who isn't a soulmate, but is willing to stick with things and work them out. I do think emotional maturity would be the number one thing I would seek in a possible new mate now.
Take care all xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I'm glad you accepted an offer on the house. One less thing to have to continue to worry about. I'm sure you are sorry to it sold, but you've got the right attitude about new people loving it versus it sitting empty.
I'm also glad to see that you are getting out and about w/friends having a good time. A yoga retreat sounds like fun and this will give you something to look forward to in the autumn. BTW, how did the first Salsa class go? Meet any new and interesting people there?
Continue to focus and work on yourself. Time has a way of slipping by us so quickly and we can't recover the time we've lost focusing on the MLCers. Definitely...emotional maturity is one of the first things that I would consider high on the list when looking for a new mate. You want someone who is going to be there for you during the good as well as the bad/tough times.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Skoro. Get news about the house Good to see Nice guy and you had a chance to chat. He's mentioned quite a bit is t he !!!! Only teasing , he's a llucky man to even have a slight interest from a lady such as yourself
Hi Sotto, Mixed bag of feelings on the house sale I understand perfectly. Congrats anyway. Ultimately it will be fine, but you already know this.
Talking it up with nice guy from work eh, lol
Ugh to waiting it out. Cadet is right but dang ... not sure I can wait it out. What does that say about me? Lack of faith? Dunno ... anyway ... sounds like you are doing well and I'm very happy for you xoxoxoxo hugs
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Thanks Job, RD and Bttrfly - I appreciate the moral support X
Clearing out the marital home has been weighing on me and I started to dither. I don't want to have to do it but I need to. So, today I came up with a plan - contacted friends who said they are willing to help, confirmed a date and booked a van - all for two weeks time. I think I'll just be relieved to have that out of the way and know I'm outta there - even if there is still legal stuff ongoing - I don't physically need to go back.
So, I have two friends driving up with me from here and two friends local to there who will also come and help. With five of us I hope to be in and out in a few hours as much of my stuff is already down here. It's really only big items and a few other bits and pieces. I feel a little better about it all knowing I have a plan.
Lots of interaction via email with H - all pleasant and much as 'colleague' liaison would work. That's fine and I'm much less conscious of thinking what I write now - so much less concerned about possible R - that I just get the job done pleasantly and that's it. If I met H for the first time as he is now, he wouldn't be of interest to me.
Feeling stress levels a bit higher, but I'm basically fine. I just need to get through this next phase and sever the ties with our old house. Heard today that H has offered on a house in the city. It's testament to how far I've come that I barely wondered...where and with whom??
Take care all xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Sotto. Looks like we're in the same boat, having accepted an offer on my house as well. Had my inspection on Saturday and close in late June. I sure hope I can handle this as cool as you are. Still trying to figure out where I'm moving to. Looking forward to reading your updates as you navigate through these waters first. (((hugs)))
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
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