Kids been mainly good , we have been out and about a bit and I took both Ds to a concert during the week at a n arena in Dublin. Girls loved it but one of the most akward times of my life , 10000 screaming teens and I saw 1 other dad !!!!
Looking at sun hope at the moment and Spain is looking favourite because of price and choice. Might be lazarote again , we will see. Few small issues with D15 but we are getting through them. Took her clothes shopping today for her under 16 night club tonight and I think I nailed embarrassing Dad perfectly !!
We had to get new bras and I was holding up the most outrageous ones in the lingerie department shouting accros the shop to her , she was laughing so much she could t get angry We chose her outfit !!!! More like a couple of tissues seen together and we went for ice cream. She's still a little girl at heart
D11 had her hair cut short and she is simply stunning even if I do say so myself She has not concept of how pretty she is and I don't think ever will. She is also the sweetest thing on this earth once you don't wake her too early , which of course I do because I'm a dad
S17 and I are having a duel on the play station at the moment , driving a Ferrari 499 GTO around a track in Scotland I'm winning right now by 0.25 of a second which is driving him mad as he is king of the video games Again I do the ' Daddies the fastest dance '. around the play room whenever he fails to best my time , As all good dads do
S21 is looking for a car so we are out regularly looking. He seems to have settled on a Mercedes CLK of several years vintage and he might be picking it up next week. He's been in good form recently and we are off to London for a weekend as soon as his passport is sorted
I'm doing good right now , I had cause to have a few chats with WAS and she has again said she can't believe what she's done and how she thinks she is in an MLC or had a mental breakdown. She also said she wishes she had not left and stressed how sorry she is for how she acted. She said she wished she could change things but understood that I had moved on and she would have to learn to do the same. Her brother left his family a few years back in a very bad way for a particularly nasty woman and he contracted a very rare bloods disorder some years later. The disorder will see him in a wheelchair eventually and his OW left him last month because ' she didn't sign up to be a carer '. Nasty person and he's better off WAS was telling me this and said while she knew she should have been a better wife she did stand by me through my illness. I validated She then asked if she should have a MRI scan as maybe she had a brain tumour that made her act the way she has and caused her to lose everything. I honestly thought she was joking but she burst into tears and said she was serious. I validated as best I could and the convo finished there
Thanks to all who read this and I'm at this almost two years and if your a newbie , it does get better , DB works but like everything it takes effort
Just In case the lovely Pink is reading this , please post an update Anjo , I miss you
Hey RD, good to hear from you and thanks for your kind post on my thread. sounds like you've been doing some fun stuff with the kids and I had to laugh at the two tissues sewn together line - well, hopefully they are man size and 3 ply ones!
It sounds like life moves along for the family with limited involvement from your W - and it's nice that you have little 'projects/activities' going on with each of the kids. Hope you manage to find a nice spot for another trip in the sun too.
Interesting chats with your W. If my H was telling me all what you posted, I'd be thinking - hey, he's regretting his choice and wants us to get back together here. When she says - I can see you've moved on and I guess I'll have to do the same - is she hoping you may say....perhaps we could try again?
She still doesn't sound in a great place - looking for external factors - maybe I should have a brain scan etc. But it sounds as though the cogs are very much turning for her. You've been at this a similar time to me my friend - difference being D is just around the corner for me - but what do you want to to at this point? Would you be willing to open the door a little and see what happens. Truly I understand the hurt as you know. But equally, you guys have been married a long time and have 4 kids together....
Anyway - just my thoughts - and I shall be your chum no matter what.... xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Interesting stuff RD, glad to hear you and kids are enjoying life. People already asked the question about W so I'll leave it for the most part.
I am happy to see you're in suck a great spot. I'm almost there myself. I don't expect my W to ever say those things but that's fine, not sure I need her to anymore. Sure you feel the same way but maybe in your sitch since something is changing you can explore the thoughts and see where they lead.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Hi Sotto , Fogg and lady V. Thanks for posting , it did feel nice to know that she has some regrets but it doesn't change what happened.
Lady V. I don't think anything WAS / WW could do anything to return to my life now I do still love her but it's best to move forward
Lady V. I would love to meet you when you are in Dublin but I know we had a chat about this before BUT if you need anything while your here , I'm in Dublin everyday
RD - I may be wrong (often am!) but I thought you were a religious man and, whilst I am not, I thought forgiveness was a sign of being a true believer? Never say never.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
"it did feel nice to know that she has some regrets but it doesn't change what happened....I don't think anything WAS / WW could do anything to return to my life now I do still love her but it's best to move forward"
One of these days I'm going to learn how to do proper quotes on this forum!!
I think we're all agreed she sounds regretful and that's a good thing - part of her journey. And yes, it doesn't change what happened - nothing can change that past of course.
So, you still love your W, you have been M for 25 years and there is nothing she could do to return to your life now?
From an outside POV, I don't think your M is unsalvageable RD. I can see there has been great hurt caused and what I see is a guy who is struggling to truly forgive and also fearful of opening his heart again to his W (or another lucky woman) at this point.
Now all of this is absolutely understandable and I agree that your W may not be in a place where she is truly ready to reconcile (ie: presume the dysfunctional 'we share a bed, but just as friends' R is ongoing with OM just now.) However, she may be moving towards that place and I fear that you will shut a door to that - which is fine if you genuinely don't want it - but not so fine if it's out of fear.
So, would it help to really focus on these areas of true forgiveness (whatever the ultimate outcome) and your own fears of future rejection by a romantic partner?
Is it a bank holiday over there too today RD? I'm taking my car to the garage as my phone unsynced and I can't work the sat nav... ....this new car is way too clever for me!!
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
xx
....this new car is way too clever for me!!