Wife files divorce after I confronted her 2nd EA

[CWOL]

Rich4j,
Sorry to hear that. Thanks for the boost.
Going to be alone at 47 for the first time in 18 years too. S11 is a lot easier than D7, though.
I'm hoping her anger will dissipate and she'll realize that OM is nothing but an illusion.
Yes, WW pulls reasons out of thin air. She even admitted it herself, she doesn't talk to her friends any more because she thought her reasons for wanting to divorce are ridiculous when she was telling them! The most ridiculous one I heard back from her friends was that S11 and I don't pick up the phone when the Caller ID says it's from her mother! Really?
Her story kept changing, originally it was we grown apart in the past year, then the past two years, then when I asked her about the emails from 9 years ago, she didn't have anything to say to me.
What I can't believe is her mother did a 180 from totally against the D to now supporting the D. She told me she was embarrassed by her daughter's behavior but then she said she needed to support her. My WW feed off her as she's pretty much the only one that she talks to now.
It is very hard for me to get a support system going. My friends and family are supportive but they do not understand the pain. They all say, you are a fool for wanting to keep the marriage going when she's already proved herself to cheat on you twice. They just don't understand how us Betrayed Husbands view the marriage.
You're right, it's a struggle daily. Every night I am hoping to wake up with this whole thing being a nightmare. I'm back to waking up 3-4 times a night again, despite the melatonin and Wellbutrin. Hanging in there.

[Ralph88]

My WW has invented every 'reason' that she was unhappy too. Not one of them is the fact that she falls for guys who give her attention or that she has no understanding of commitment. Oh well.

[doodler]

CWOL,

I had to check out your thread.

Speaking of spousal complaints, apparently the most egregious act that I committed during my marriage occurred about one year into our marriage. My wife asked me to throw her a old towel that she wanted to use to do some cleaning in the kitchen. I was in the laundry room she was on the other side of the kitchen counter. I threw the towel and evidently it landed in a small pile of dirt and debris that she'd just swept-up. I couldn't see the pile and I didn't know the pile was there and you know how precise you can be when throwing a towel. The towel landed in the pile of dirt and some of the pile was scattered. She got mad and told me I messed-up her pile of dirt (or something to that effect). Apparently I said, "Well, sweep it up!" I guess that was a big mistake. I barely remember the event but she remembers it like it was yesterday. She uses that event to make a case that I don't respect her or love her and I've never respected her or loved her. And thus, my mind is blown. I think I've apologized at least one hundred times for that but to no avail.

As much as I wish I didn't love that woman, I still love her dearly; it does seem like a nightmare. I'm glad you're hanging in there CWOL, me too!

[CWOL]

My WW has invented every 'reason' that she was unhappy too. Not one of them is the fact that she falls for guys who give her attention or that she has no understanding of commitment. Oh well.

My WW never admitted to the EA with her XBF, but said, "Even if there were no OM, I would have wanted a separation. The OM just sped it up a couple months." Really? The guy you've been emailing for the past nine years?

She wouldn't admit to her EA and so I gave our friends who asked the email trail. Nobody doubted me afterwards.

[CWOL]

Doodler,
The most annoying complaint she gave me was that I never knew that she had postpartum depression after our son was born. She said she told me afterward when there was a news story describing the condition because of some stars experiencing it, it was a relatively newly coined term at that time. I told her, yes, I remember you were kind of sad about the shape of your body, but you bounced right back after a couple months! So to blame me now, 11 years later, for not being clairvoyant back then?!? I didn't know what to say to that.

[doodler]

CWOL,

Our stories are amazingly similar. My wife denies she's had an EA. And, deny is the wrong word for it. She fully believes it's just a very close friendship so she's not denying anything because she doesn't believe she's doing anything wrong. The marriage counselor said it's an EA. My wife is willing to divorce me because I won't accept her "special friend" and she still doesn't believe it's an EA. I wish I had the antidote for special friend infatuation, but I've got no clue how it's cured.

[CWOL]

My WW denied it was an EA, she said the guy had nothing to do with her wanting to separate. Really? You email your ex-boyfriend for nine years and expect me to believe that? The ex-boyfriend who just got a second divorce a few months before you guys sent 211 emails back and forth? The one you planned to meet up with in December before I blew it up? If it's just a "special" friend, you could have cc:'ed me on your emails.

She continued to deny it until I showed it to my MIL. My MIL went ballistics on my WW because she knows the OM. She even called up the OM and told her to stop communicating with her daughter. But even after all this, I overheard her phone call with the OM as she was prepared to file D against me. But by then she already turned my MIL so it was a lost cause. That's what really enabled her D, I just can't believe my MIL who was so moral and anti-OM flipped.
But she is still against her D contacting OM, but it's too late now.

[Phoebe]

They are living in their affair fogs and doing all the self-centered, selfish things that an affair entails. They reach into the past to dig up anything that they can use to justify their victimhood and therefore their behavior in all of this. Male waywards do the same, or at least mine does.

[Phoebe]

I'm sorry that it's happening to you both, CWOL and doodler.

[CWOL]

Thanks, the betrayal was really hard to take. We know we have issues but Affairs are not justified.
Working on myself to GAL