I have returned from the Pearl of the Orient - no, not Leyton (UK football term), but Hong Kong!
Firstly, I recommend it to anyone. If you can stomach the achingly long flight time (12hrs from the UK) then it's well worth the trip and relatively inexpensive as there are so many airlines flying out there and there are so many hotels to choose from. If you're in to shopping, you'll be made up with choice. Language isn't a problem, neither is eating/drinking and is incredibly safe.
Here, however, comes an admission. It's the first time I've been away on my own since 1991 and I have to admit I got a bit lonely. On day two I kept thinking about W and the kids. That made that day a bummer. Anybody who has been reading all 17 (!) of my threads (why are you still here and not GAL'ing!) will know, I quite like reading my horoscopes and fortune telling. Hong Kong is quite famous for fortune telling. One day, I was approached on the street by a 'holy man' who said he could tell my fortune. He handed me a piece of paper, which was screwed up in to a ball. He then read my fortune from my forehead (spookily accurate) and then asked me some questions. He said the answers to my questions were on the paper, if I cared to unfold it. Again, they were bang on accurate!
Now, you could say, I wanted this to be true and I am a fool, but he genuinely hadn't met me before, didn't know anything about me or my past and also knew about a specific problem I was having at work as well. If anything, it helped my mood, and for that at least, I was grateful!
I returned home this morning and texted W to bring the kids for tea. She dropped all three off and I gave them presents, food and we had good fun. W has just picked them up (she didn't come to the flat when she dropped them) and immediately started on a rant about an old phone account.
I don't know what's going on here. I don't see any visible signs of regret, yet she still pulls strings to get me to react. Part of the game I suppose! Off to bed - this jet lag is a killer.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
No, I didn't, but on his 'answer' paper, he did list that I was having love problems and they would be solved soon and I would be happy. He didn't say if that was with my W or not. I wasn't going to push.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Patience is the key I guess, but I just want to throw this out to any of you good people to answer.
Over the past week, W has started to be more friendly towards me. She has asked me to have the kids more, has started smiling at me more readily and has started to send me photos of the kids on 'whatsapp'. I notice she has also started to wear high heel shoes when she comes (she knows this turns me on) and has made comments about being alone with the kids all the time.
I'm just curious if I'm missing a trick? Should I start making noises about her coming back or should I just leave well alone? She has said that she will have the kids all day when they are off school, on her own, and not looking forward to it. I could say 'well, tat's what you wanted', but I don't want to seem cold.
It's just a confidence thing really. Am I doing the right thing, or should I be proactive? My head tells me to stand firm and wait; my heart says lull her back!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I would be warmer to her, smile more, compliment her, be more courteous but say and mention nothing. Let her do the heavy lifting. You just be a friendly and kind, don't play hard to get, just oblivious to there being any chance of reconciliation. It could some time but doesn't take to much effort on your part.
Huddy, yet again these are positive signs, but don't change what you are doing just for crumbs. I said before that there is a good chance your W could come around. I say that without wanting to give false hope.
Great she is friendlier, better dressed etc. That will make your interactions more pleasant.Enjoy that. Appreciate that. But don't read too much into it. When/if she wants back, you will know.
You can read the situation better than us. Just to be devil's advocate it is possible she has met someone, is happier and wants more kid free time. I am not saying this is true but want you to not get carried away. You said it best when you said patience is the key. Time will tell.
Good luck mate.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
