Rednail: Dropping the rope

[TimR]

Don't beat yourself up Reds. Know that it was a screw up, alcohol induced, learn from it ie don't drink around H and get back to DBing. We all have slip ups. I let WW pull me into arguments for her to validate her leaving and me being mean. We all do it we are only human in an extremely intense situation. So just let it go and get back to DBing.

[Rednail]

I am Tim. I really am.

I almost feel like I needed to hit the bottom. Like REALLY have it as my wakeup call that I need to wakeup.

I wokeup today, went to the gym, used a personal trainer, went to breakfast with a friend, now relaxing at her house until I go home.

I feel good today.

No more drinking and talking on the phone. No more nothing. I feel like it was a test anyways to see hey will my wife still show up at 1:30 if I tell her too because I want to see her shirt? Answer was yes. Will it happened again NO.

I'm NOT his wife. I need to remind myself this.

I'm the mother of the kids and nothing more.

I'm ready to redo my room today. I am excited.

I'm going to see my friend later. It will be a good day. It will be.

[Squiggy]

Remember when we were talking about H not being very lovable? I'm sure we could add a few more words to that description at this point. Right now he is just dulling your shine. It's time to drop the rope and move forward, whatever that may look like.

Maximus highlighted something that I had to do as well. I really had to let go of my W. Let go with no expectations of the MR ever returning. Besides, I didn't want that MR at all. When you become free from the pressure of reactions and expectations, it is so so so so so so so liberating. Being the bellhop for your H and falling into his traps is not going to get you anywhere. Further, if you never, ever end up back with your H, would you want another one playing the same game?

This is why we have told you to work on YOU for the benefit of YOU. Work on those faults that you can find, improve the things you are proud of, and add to the whole mix what will make you stand out. Reinvent yourself in the image you want. You've already got one hell of a start. You are vibrant, exciting, intelligent, and insightful. People here love and respond to you. Keep going, Red. Your corner is cheering.

[Rednail]

Squiggy you are one of my favorites on here.

Yes I am working on me for me.

I think after the other night I did very well today.

Nothing he did or said effected me. He tried, he did little things that usually would have me thinking non stop or snappy or upset. Nothing at ALL BOTHERED ME.

[TimR]

Good for you Red!

[Sparkls]

Red, can you give me some?

[Sparkls]

Meaning some of the ability to not let any of what he does/says bother you.

[Rednail]

Sparkls I'm sending you some mental strength blocking power lol.

I'm going to workout again and then spend time with the kids. I think REALLY working out is helping burn off some anger.

[broke]

Good for you, Red. You made a mistake and you learned from it! We all have those slip-ups, but you are right back on track. Keep it up!

[Rednail]

Thank you brooke. I am sad having to go back into limited contact mode. To many calls and texts from morning to in the middle of the night from him that have nothing to do with the kids, he just wasnt with the OW. Back to kid only interactions!