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Thornton #2656868 02/24/16 11:27 PM
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Originally Posted By: Thornton
Competitive tennis huh? I used to play competitively as well. I can't serve anymore though - rotator cuff...


Same problem here, but from a combination of throwing batting practice then playing tennis at the same time. I forgot my age and threw over 150 pitches to the team. Next day I couldn't lift my arm! Then tried to play tennis a few weeks later... Dead arm.
I laid off both for almost two years, two cortisone shots later, mostly healed. Now I'm a lot more careful warming up and serving.


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
G8r #2656870 02/24/16 11:30 PM
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Originally Posted By: G8r
Hi CWOL. Many therapists specialize in a few areas. Try to figure what your primary issues are and find some matches. You also want to take a look at their degree and their experience. The higher the degree, the more you will pay. Degree can play a really but shouldn't be the deciding factor because there are lots of great therapists with a Masters in Social Work. The therapist's experience also can be a factor depending on your needs. Type of therapy can play a role. Do you want to explore your childhood, examine your thought patterns, focus on behaviors etc... IMO, your comfort level with a therapist specializing in your needs who uses the type of therapy you are most comfortable with is the way to go.

Physical activity is always good supplemental therapy.


Got two appointments set up to talk to therapists. We'll see how good these guys are.


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
CWOL #2657192 02/25/16 10:58 PM
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Finally got my copy of DR in the mail, yay!

Wife's attorney put in an ex parte motion to move all of my investments from my individual account back to the joint account. I moved it four weeks prior to her filing, so it shouldn't be covered by the ATRO. Hearing is tomorrow morning.

My attorney is opposing it, hopefully we will prevail.


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
CWOL #2658305 02/29/16 06:05 PM
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Her lawyer wasted four hours on both sides bickering about nonsense. What a terrible waste of time and money... It's horrible what they can do to drum up legal fees.
I talked to WW about this and we were able to get it resolved.

Now the hard part will be negotiating temporary support (alimony) and custody schedule. We had already agreed to it but her lawyer wants to get all the holidays set. What a mess! Any advice on these?


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
CWOL #2658310 02/29/16 06:28 PM
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Have you guys tried mediation?

Sounds like her lawyer is a money grab.

Thornton #2658319 02/29/16 07:12 PM
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Think about either splitting the days or doing you get these on even years and I get them on odd years.


Me 41
W 33
M 2013
Suspect A 11/15
Confirm A 1/16
She moved out 2/14/16
Stepson 13
Stepson 16
Thornton #2658380 02/29/16 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted By: Thornton
Have you guys tried mediation?

Sounds like her lawyer is a money grab.


WW is not going to go for it. She thinks her lawyer's "aggressive" and doesn't understand that it's costing both of us money doing all these frivolous things... She drank her Kool-Aid.

Question: WW incurred a large dental bill last November before she filed this year for $8K. She put it on the installment plan. She wants ME to pay for it now. Do I have to? I'm pretty sure my lawyer's going to say yes, because it was a community debt, I'd have to pay it and get credit on asset split?


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
CWOL #2658386 02/29/16 09:54 PM
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Only your L can answer that one.

During my D from ex-wife many years ago, I had cashed out my 401k because she was getting garnished for unpaid student loans. There was not other way to resolve it at the time. She left me 3 months later. I didn't get a dime.

Thornton #2658401 02/29/16 10:56 PM
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Originally Posted By: Thornton
Only your L can answer that one.

During my D from ex-wife many years ago, I had cashed out my 401k because she was getting garnished for unpaid student loans. There was not other way to resolve it at the time. She left me 3 months later. I didn't get a dime.


I guess she would be entitled to half your 401k earned during your marriage. Did you do it voluntarily or were you forced by the courts/lawyers to do it?


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
CWOL #2659263 03/03/16 10:30 AM
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Talked to my L, WW's dental bill will have to come out of the community property. So I paid it out of my account in order to avoid finance charges.
Ugh, life still [censored].


Me-LBH, 48
Spouse-WW, 48
Married for 19 years
Son, 12
BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding)
BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA)
WW filed D February 2016
WW moved out April 2016
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