Mona, what did you mean by sitch's getting shaken up in Spring? Could it be our wayward spouses start to miss us a little? Please say yes! Especially if we are the ones who planted all the tulips that are coming up soon, and tended the garden like it's our baby?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I mean that Spring after the winter we just went through will be nice for us, but we have to be careful. Just because our idiot WAS's are in a good mood because of the sun and good weather, it does not mean you can expect a R. Be prepared for them to be nice and keep it at ZERO expectations!
Hi Rouky! Thanks!
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
jerkface texted me yesterday asking if I could buy him 2 packs of ciggs. I was on my way to spend the evening at the dance with Chris, so it was weird.
I said yes,and dropped them off at his job. I expected him to open the car door, take the ciggs and thank me and I could leave. Nope... He made the mistake of asking me how the kids were.
As I pulled into my H's job my mind was on my upcoming evening, how bad traffic was, how was my D getting home from work, will my S get to bed on time and a billion other things that had nothing to do with H. So when he started up a conversation with me, i was a little startled and very annoyed. I was in a hurry so I would not be late.
Then I heard his words "How are they?"
OMG, without warning I saw red. Was he really asking me how his kids were? the kids he never takes a second out of his busy day to even text? the kids he never ever sees? The kids I have to DO EVERYTHING for, every single day?
I got very angry, but I am a pro and did not let anything show. I just smiled and said they were great. It was raining a tiny bit so I said he should get inside before he gets sick. It was a nice way for me to tell him to close the car door and go. And he did.
My anger dissolved as I drove away. He texted me a few minutes after I left: H: Ty you saved my life Me: Buying cigarettes is actually killing you H: Ok you saved my crew's lives lol (He works on a press and I guess he was being irate with his crew to the point of killing them because of nicotine withdraw) Me: Lol
When I got to Chris, he had a bouquet of daisies for me and it made me feel unbelievably nice. I had a great time with Chris at the dance. I hardly danced at all, which is weird for me. I was actually a little disappointed every time he asked me to dance (he only asked for the slow songs) because I was having such a good time just talking to him at the table in the corner.
I made it as official as possible today by posting 3 pictures of him and me on my FB page. I blocked jerkface from my FB page months ago, but the rest of my friends and family will see it.
I sometimes feel guilt, like I should be sitting at home waiting for my H. But I cant imagine I really have to spend the rest of my life with a man who has humiliated me for 20 years with lots of OW. I dont know how to describe how it feels to have a boyfriend who i am pretty sure has no OW. Just me. I am good enough just the way I am. I dont even need to follow 37 rules (but I fully admit I DB Chris every day).
I wish so much that my M would have lasted. I will never get to the point where I no longer wish for that. But I did not realize how unhappy I have been for so many years now that i wake up happy, spend the day pretty happy and fall asleep happy almost every night.
The door on my m is barely ajar anymore. I will not leave Chris for my M. The only chance my M has now of any life is if my R with Chris dies a natural death. And most R do die a natural death.
I am banking on one of 2 outcomes. 1. Chris and I live happily ever after. or 2. Chris and I have fun and part on good terms at the end of a normal R, and by that time jerkface does his own major 180's.
But to be honest, God has a wicked sense of humor and I really have no idea what She has in store for me next
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Karaoke tonight I go with S12 and D15. My S loves it! It is at a bar, but it is family night so there are kids everywhere. My S sings Kryptonite and all the younger girls follow him around. It is weird because as soon as I walk into the bar, a swarm of kids all run up to me and hug me. I dont even know these kids, but they hang around me and S all night.
They told me at the bar that before i came, no one ever danced, now we dance all night. I think the kids swarm me because I dance with them. All I know is that we have so much fun. My D15 goes but she does not like karaoke, so she just kinda sits there. But she does not sulk. She is happy to be there because she knows it makes me happy that she come with me.
D17 is not invited anymore. I am sick and tired of watching her sulk and wine because she does not like it so I leave her at home.
Chris works on Wednesday's so he never comes with me
However... Brian (the guy I dance with on Fridays) has been threatening to come. I like going out places with Brian because he has this way of giving me 100% of his attention. Even when he sits beside me he makes sure he is close enough our legs and arms are touching. It is nothing inappropriate, it is just nice that he is so confident and present the whole time.
My girlfriend Diane has come a few times and may come tonight.
I have also been there enough that I know a bunch of the regulars. And they are even starting to get up and dance and talk to me.
Then there is Tom and Al. They are in their 80's and they always put their name on my dance card.
The truth be told, the people who come are not pretty or glamorous. They sing terribly. They dance horribly. They wear jeans and ripped t-shirts when they dress up. Most are way older than me, or way younger than me. The food is bad. I am probably the only non-smoker in the room. There is zero chance the people there have all of their original teeth
Yet, I LOVE Wednesday nights so much. I dont need to take my kids out to some place fun. I am fun. I dont need to surround them with glamour. We are glamorous. I dont even like singing karaoke, I sound bad. But I always choose songs that make me smile and make people at the least tap their foot. So I cant see of feel any of the bad. I only smile and laugh and have fun.
Thank God I was able to hold my children close as we tried karaoke. Because of them supporting me, I was able to learn that happiness and fun were not something i needed to go find. They were something I needed to create. And I was able to create fun and pleasure in almost any environment. And I needed to depend on NO ONE to do it just right.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Karaoke tonight I go with S12 and D15. My S loves it! It is at a bar, but it is family night so there are kids everywhere. My S sings Kryptonite and all the younger girls follow him around. It is weird because as soon as I walk into the bar, a swarm of kids all run up to me and hug me. I dont even know these kids, but they hang around me and S all night.
They told me at the bar that before i came, no one ever danced, now we dance all night. I think the kids swarm me because I dance with them. All I know is that we have so much fun. My D15 goes but she does not like karaoke, so she just kinda sits there. But she does not sulk. She is happy to be there because she knows it makes me happy that she come with me.
D17 is not invited anymore. I am sick and tired of watching her sulk and wine because she does not like it so I leave her at home.
Chris works on Wednesday's so he never comes with me
However... Brian (the guy I dance with on Fridays) has been threatening to come. I like going out places with Brian because he has this way of giving me 100% of his attention. Even when he sits beside me he makes sure he is close enough our legs and arms are touching. It is nothing inappropriate, it is just nice that he is so confident and present the whole time.
My girlfriend Diane has come a few times and may come tonight.
I have also been there enough that I know a bunch of the regulars. And they are even starting to get up and dance and talk to me.
Then there is Tom and Al. They are in their 80's and they always put their name on my dance card.
The truth be told, the people who come are not pretty or glamorous. They sing terribly. They dance horribly. They wear jeans and ripped t-shirts when they dress up. Most are way older than me, or way younger than me. The food is bad. I am probably the only non-smoker in the room. There is zero chance the people there have all of their original teeth
Yet, I LOVE Wednesday nights so much. I dont need to take my kids out to some place fun. I am fun. I dont need to surround them with glamour. We are glamorous. I dont even like singing karaoke, I sound bad. But I always choose songs that make me smile and make people at the least tap their foot. So I cant see of feel any of the bad. I only smile and laugh and have fun.
Thank God I was able to hold my children close as we tried karaoke. Because of them supporting me, I was able to learn that happiness and fun were not something i needed to go find. They were something I needed to create. And I was able to create fun and pleasure in almost any environment. And I needed to depend on NO ONE to do it just right.
I love all of this. I am a karaoke nerd--and I am learning to be more comfortable with dancing in public. Throw in time with the kids and this sounds like an ideal night!
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
I wish so much that my M would have lasted. I will never get to the point where I no longer wish for that. But I did not realize how unhappy I have been for so many years now that i wake up happy, spend the day pretty happy and fall asleep happy almost every night.
...
But to be honest, God has a wicked sense of humor and I really have no idea what She has in store for me next
I hope to be where you are soon. I know I have so much happiness and creativity inside me, but the rejection and disapproval I face every day from H is crushing my spirit. I spent 4 months away a while back and it was like I found myself again.
I wish I could figure out why we are so bad for each other and fix it, but I have to face the fact that I can't.
And I love your last remark!
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
