Bizzaro world continues. Normally, when my H pisses me off, I lash out. It is the pattern, we both understand it.
My H bashed me bad yesterday. I was at work, my D15 was stuck in the city next to ours and needed picked up. My mom's car is in the garage, so I had no one.
I broke down and asked H.
He went to get her. I thanked him (ewww)
Apparently, while driving her back, he apologized for having to shut of her and D17's cell phone. He told her I am taking 60% of his income. He said he cant even text her because I take all of his money. He said he cannot invite her over his house or see her or talk to her because I am taking all of his money.
(For the record, my child support is 18% of his income)
Okay, let the pattern begin. H pissed me off. Time to wait a day and lash out at him!
Hold on. I just dont care. He can say what he wants.
I grumbled a bit yesterday about how unfair things were and dropped the whole thing.
I got a text (2 actually) from jerkface today! It has been months since he texted me. I have texted him for help, but he only texted me a few months ago to ask for money and I said no.
He is looking for a fight. He is trying to lash out at me! HA!
How about I dont answer his texts until tomorrow. The day after he pisses me off is lash out day and I wont be pulled into a fight today.
Now I have 24 hours to figure out how to talk to him so I dont sound like a freaking mommy, so I dont sound like I am criticizing him, and I need to find something to praise him about. Okay, they said DB'ing was hard, but that is impossible.
"I am so proud of you for breathing. You are doing great at that, keep it up."
HAHA
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
okay, nothing from H in months. I have to force contact with kids and that happens maybe once a month. November = thanksgiving, Christmas in December, yesterday I needed SOMEONE to pick up D15 because I was at work. They were me initiating each time. He initiated once because he needed money and I refused.
Earlier today he sent me 2 (YES TWO) text messages. I ignored both.
tonight, he sent D15 a text! I did not read it but D said it said something like "I enjoyed picking you up yesterday"
amazing, huh???
I WONT thank him or validate in any way. His R with his kids is none of my business so I will keep clear of it. If I praise him, it will look like i am watching him.
Earlier today, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world told me she wanted her husband to apologize and show remorse. So I typed out this long text message. It was full of heartfelt apologies I imagined I would not mind hearing from my H. My text was so remorseful and detailed, that I deleted it instead of pressing send, because it was dead on a deepest desire. I wanted to show her that even if she heard the words, the pain would still be there.
Well, my own text hit me like a ton of bricks. That is why I could not even send it to her. After pushing H out of my head, that text flooded my brain with thoughts of jerkface.
No big deal, I have so many things to distract me, right? I took my kids to karaoke tonight and hands down I had one of the greatest nights of my entire life! We are DYING for next Wednesday to come!
But jerkface finally texting a kid on a day where I was slightly vulnerable is making sleep tonight a little elusive.
I have zero expectations for myself. But, if he texted one kids, could it be possible he will text the other 2 sometime soon???
Not gonna watch for it, gonna boot him from my head again. I know that tunnel time takes years and he has just begun. Back to me me me. Forget about jerkface...
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
I am sorry your husband has caused you so much pain. You are a great woman and worthy of much better behavior then his. It's not your fault. I hope for the sake of the children he straightens out and flies right. Be well dear Mona
P.S. I am glad you had such a wonderful time with your children. Nothing is as important as that.
Mona, So glad that you guys had so much fun doing karaoke! I did that for the first time a couple of weeks ago and it was a blast. I can NOT sing, but I still had lots of fun.
Not sure what your H's texts were about so I can't help you there, but as far as praising/validating him why not just say something like "I just wanted to thank you for picking D up yesterday when I was in a bind. I know that you're really busy so I appreciate that you were able to make time to do that for me. Thanks again." Or something like that. Simple enough, right?
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
