Wife checked out (2)

[JellyB]

You're too cute!

[sandi2]

Just got done cutting my S7 hair myself. He was squirming around a lot and didn't let me finish so he kinda looks like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber.

LOL

[2ltl2lt]

Me and S7 went for a hike this morning in the national forest, had a great time. He is so funny, not sure where he gets it. We came home and watched football for a while and he climbed up on me. We snuggled the whole game. Then W came in with D11 and saw us cuddled up on my chair. She commented how cute we looked. She was taking the kids to MILs tonight because of the holiday tomorrow. I said goodbye to the kids and got out of the house. I didn't say a word to W. She texted me later about something mundane and I ingnored it.

I went to an old bar down the road to watch the late game and met some pretty cool folks. One of the guys there was into woodworking and had his own business doing sawmill work. He built all the tables at the bar. I showed him some pictures of the work I had done and we exchanged numbers so we could meet up and bounce ideas off each other about cool rustic furniture. Funny thing is I don't know shite about woodwork and he doesn't know shite about metalwork. I guess opposites do attract somehow.

[mutatio]

The design skills and problem solving thought patterns are the same. You two use different mediums. This guy seems like a good connection.

How's it going with your wife, is she the same, worse or better?

[2ltl2lt]

Wouldn't know, haven't communicated with her for over a week. I have found that the space she said she needs was something I needed as well. I have looked deep within myself over the last three months and found out that I am pretty ok with me. Hell I would go so far to say that I really like me.

Hang in there friend.

[2ltl2lt]

Went to IC this morning. She thinks I should become a divorce mediator myself. Not sure what to think about that. She is one and saw the seperation agreement I had written but never showed W. She says I am doing pretty good and is impressed with how much I am getting out and meeting new friends. I guess it just comes naturally to me.

[2ltl2lt]

I have been as NC with W as possible for over a week now, she sent me text this morning asking me if I would like go to an event with her and the kids this Sunday. I waited for a few hours then replied "wouldn't miss it " she sent me a smiley face in return.

I do believe that we will work through this tough period in our MR. We are all hurt and angry at times, and we all have to deal with it in our own way. I make no delusions that we could end up divorced, but as long as we approach difficult times with our eyes wide open we can clearly see what is best for ourselves.

Sometimes I feel like I am shadow boxing with W and in general. Fighting something that isn't really there to fight with, just expending my valuable energy in a fight with one participant. A fight against myself.

[trumpet]

I hear you 2lt.

If you're like me, the responses my wife gets now are not anything like I used to send her. They are always measured, always thought about a second time before sending or saying.

It's a lot of extra energy to expend. Fighting with yourself on what to say. Second-guessing if you're too detached, or not detached enough.

All I know now is that Cadet's words that your wife has given you the gift of TIME are words that ring more true every day. I want to become a husband, a father, a human, that I can see in the mirror every day and smile at. I used to hide in shame. That has changed. I am now determined to be happy, to do things for myself. I got the kick in the a** I needed.

[2ltl2lt]

Thanks trumpet,

I'm not the most articulate person anyway so I really have to think about the things I say to her. Sometimes I loss the opportunity to say it because I don't want to screw up.

[2ltl2lt]

She has been texting me a lot for the last couple days now. Asking more questions.