I agree, stay silent on the book report. If it comes up again, tell your h that your son can choose the person that he wishes to write about. After all, it's nothing more than a book report. It's not a life and death article.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think my Fed X guy at work is hitting on me now? We are always super friendly, always joking around. Was showing him my new phone (because we always joked about having old phones) and my bitmoji. (A character you create to look like you with different sayings) He gave me his number and told me to send him a bitmoji. I see him every day at work and didn't want to ignore him to make things weird, so I sent him a "cheers!" Holding a beer. He responded asking how many of those we could drink together before getting tipsy.....oops. did not mean to imply that. Replied back a ha ha. Left it at that!
Saturday was H day with S. He texted asking if I wanted to look at stoves, I said yes! We went to several different stores to compare prices. As usual, a very enjoyable time. At one point, S was walking in the middle of us with his arms looped through ours on each side, it was very sweet. My poor son, he has handled this all so well. We found a great deal at Best Buy, but H was really wanting a microwave with convection style heat. They cost more, so I kept telling him, I don't cook in the microwave, only heat stuff up, that simple is best. But he really wanted this. I was the new me, very patient, let him do his quick online research before deciding, he haggled the guy down on price and he got the microwave he wanted....
So Job, my question for you....H was very concerned about what was coming into the house. He wanted specific features....but he doesn't live here!!! Is this a sign he sees himself eventually coming back? I can't help but think so.
Anyway, had a nice time. Listened to H vent about work. He also very clearly does not care for his landlord, did a lot of complaining about him. I asked him if he made sure it was ok to switch in the new appliances. H said no, he was just doing it. Having been a renter the majority of my life, I know this is a no no. H will learn on his own I guess as renting is new to him.
After we were done, he mentioned being hungry but I had plans to see a movie with friends. He asked what, told him Daddy's Home...he said not Star Wars!!?? He said Star Wars would be much better, could take S. I told him, but S is not going? Was weird, like he was saying I should be going with him and S to see Star Wars, not my plan. I told him Mark Walburg beats out Star Wars any day!
They dropped me off at home, saw movie with friends, had a blast.
This morning, had a fundraiser car show to go to for my friend who lost his house in a fire on Thanksgiving. It was really fun, saw many old friends. I must be giving off a scent because an old girlfriends ex husband was clearly hitting on me, asked me to join him to a bbq. I explained, friends exes are off limits in a very nice way. This is the old friend I had run into and who messaged me on facebook. The friends who I went with today told him aside that I am not available in spite of what is going on with H. Lol. Being a friend of H, my girlfriends husband chases away anyone who comes near me!
H brought S home and asked about the car show as he is a friend of his too. Told him about it. Get this...H asked if I gave money from "US" because he could pay me back. I told him I got outbid on the silent auction so no I did not, but told him he can most likely donate online.
That is the first time he referred to us as "us" since I can remember. Awww they are so good at keeping us confused and hooked in, yes?
So overall, very good interaction with H this weekend. The stove is being delivered next Saturday and H plans on being here to install everything and take the old.
Hmmm. My h does the same. Every time I cut some cord or distance myself further I get the "we" and "our" and "us" statements. I pretend to ignore them as well. Weirdos.
But his statement giving money "from us" is truly odd. That is like you are a couple.
Ok - so what happened with the book report?
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
A new stove? That's wonderful. It sounds like your h is sitting on the fence and can't decide which pond to dip his toe. Some of them use "us" when they are speaking and it's because they forget why they are upset w/us and or it's an old habit that they are use to. Some will want to purchase things for the home or go out and buy things for vehicles, etc., because they forget why and where they are living. Sometimes they purchase things for us because they feel guilty about what they are doing. I think it might have been a slip of the tongue when he had moments of clarity.
For now, it's good to have hope and I do hope that he sees himself coming back eventually. It's difficult to say what is really going on in his mind these days.
But, I'm very happy that you are getting a new stove and had a great week.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hawho, the book report has not come up again. S is still reading the book as part of his homework. The report is due in a couple of weeks. I would guess H dropped it.
Hi Job. This is the deal where H cracked his stovetop at his rental, so he asked to take our ugly one in the house and pay 1/2 to replace with a new one. It's a great deal for me and a long overdue upgrade off the list.
Yes, I would say his toe was dipped in the family pool this weekend. I am curious to see how he is next weekend when he is here putting the stove and microwave in. Will it be family H or single H...I never know! But I have been in need of some movement from him, so my heart and eyes are open with hope. I feel in a way it's a last ditch attempt as I have been leaning towards taking the "done with this" path.
I have to say, I am very flattered with the male attention I have been getting lately. Funny how I have had NOTHING then all of a sudden, as I am having this internal struggle with my standing, I get asked out 3 times within a couple of weeks. Hmmmm, is the man upstairs testing me? It certainly is a reminder that I am not interested or ready to date. In fact, the attention got me a bit flustered, I am way out of practice with this stuff! I need to learn a polite way to say thank you, but no thank you.
Hope you all found some fun and peace this weekend. Have a great week
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
mleigh4, I can’t wait for the “stove story” to develop. I’m glad you had a great time with friends! And, some attention is nice sometimes, LOL. I get this “us” word too… Very rarely, and mostly related to the business. I don’t even pay attention anymore… I think I’m in the same boat… waiting for some sign to declare “done with this” path…
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
You may seem some stirrings towards the family h this weekend. Keep things light and simple. Give him an atta boy when he does a good job.
Also, they can sense when we are pulling back or very close to be done. Their radar is very much on target and they will tend to drag you back into their drama. Continue as you have been because I think you've been doing wonderfully.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wanted to share a new change in me I notice lately...
When I have a bad day, it doesn't get me down. Yesterday morning my dog got sprayed by a skunk! Poor baby, I whipped up a mixture and cleaned her up, was 15 minutes late to work. Work is still crazy busy. Got a phone call from school, S has tummy ache and asked I get him. Picked him up, he made a miraculous recovery, so I took him back to work with me for a few hours. It was a hectic day....but....
I thought to myself...I was dumped and left by H with a 6 year old. I have risen above it wiser, stronger, nicer, friendlier and happier! A bad day is nothing!
I also catch myself with a smile on my face a lot. No reason, just feel happy. I hope this sticks!
Monday night, dropped off S with H. He was a chatty catty. Showed me his nifty laser again, you know, the one that does a laser light show. I played along and ooohed and awwwed. Didn't seem to want to stop chatting, but it was cold outside and I still had to go grocery shopping.
H was helpful with the skunk issue, he and S had a good laugh at my expense. That reminds me to mention that S has been very positive towards H lately. He has been telling me about his visits, things they do, and enjoying it. H had him shoot a bow and arrow, S was pretty excited he hit the target. Yesterday when I picked up S from school, he wanted to eat his lunch and exclaimed, now you can see what daddy packs in my lunch! I am happy to see this. I mentioned it to H in hopes he will keep it up and make him feel good.
Got crickets from H yesterday when I let him know I picked up S early from school. I was annoyed, but again, didn't get to me. He responded tonight. Lol. Just gotta shake your head.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
I'm glad you are seeing progress within yourself. However, I am sorry to hear that the dog got sprayed by a skunk. Poor dog and poor you for having to clean the pup up. Gosh, that smell lingers for days in the area.
I'm glad things are on a positive upswing for your son. Dad has purchased some cool things to keep both of them busy when your son comes over. Maybe this is what they need, i.e., male bonding.
I hope today is a better day for you! Keep that smile going!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I thought to myself...I was dumped and left by H with a 6 year old. I have risen above it wiser, stronger, nicer, friendlier and happier! A bad day is nothing
Love what you wrote here. Such an inspiration to many I'm sure. I am very happy to see you saying this. I feel the same way as I go through my own journey.
Hugs Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
