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beckyb #2638639 01/05/16 02:09 PM
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I think my H must have my settlement proposal now. He has not communicated since Friday morning, completely ignoring a message about mail that he would have responded to.

After talking to my DB coach yesterday I sent a message saying his L has the proposal and to contact me if he would like to discuss anything. Silence.

I have a feeling this is going to get ugly and expensive. I need support to hold it together and act with confidence, grace and mercy.

Last edited by beckyb; 01/05/16 02:12 PM.

Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
beckyb #2638670 01/05/16 03:02 PM
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I'm here for you, Becky! I'll stop what I'm doing and say a prayer for you right now.


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
Ancaire #2638840 01/05/16 08:28 PM
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Thank you Judy. You are so kind. I am just a mess right now. I can't focus on anything and I feel hopeless. I now there is a better future out there. I just wish I could see it.


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
beckyb #2638937 01/05/16 11:55 PM
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That's the hardest thing, right? Coming to grips with being in a position you never asked for, and trying to see into the future with the uncertainty you're feeling at the moment?

You only have today, Becky. Just keep your focus on the here and now, and what you can actually do in the moment. It's when I try and look too far ahead that I actually panic.

When I prayed for you today, I got a really good blessing. I think it was just God saying, "I got this." He can create something wonderful from what seems like just ashes to us. I know that, firmly believe it, and am counting on it.


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
Ancaire #2638968 01/06/16 01:37 AM
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Amazing. A friend of mine always says God's got this. And I know he does.


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Ancaire #2638969 01/06/16 01:37 AM
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Posts: 495
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beckyb Offline OP
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Amazing. A friend of mine always says God's got this. And I know he does.


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
beckyb #2638978 01/06/16 02:00 AM
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You are in my prayers too Becky.


BD 2/15
separation 1/16
formerly Pho or Fo
ARose #2639034 01/06/16 03:51 AM
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Thanks ladies. I need to turn the focus back to me and revisit my goals. And get focus of H and OW. But you gals will appreciate this. OWs husband just announced his plan to retire next year, told a friend he was staying in NJ because family member (OW) is sick, and talking about a cruise with OWs mom. Yet she and H are still in contact. Who is playing whom, I wonder.

Ok,New goal:stop snooping. Really, FB is a treasure trove. smile


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
beckyb #2639385 01/06/16 06:30 PM
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Yeah yeah, I know you were just on my thread and caught me snooping, so I am the last person who should advise you on this, but you are deeply watching them all and you are making this so hard on yourself.

Next time you get the urge, what can you do, what ACTION can you take to stop yourself?

You are going to start to feel so much better if you can pull yourself away from their mess. Until he comes to you, you need to wrap yourself in your own world cocoon.

You can do this!


Me: 42
H: 45
M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs
D: 17
D: 15
S: 12
I kicked him out 8/21/15
I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Mona52 #2639395 01/06/16 06:43 PM
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Thank you! I completely agree. I feel like an addict. I did really well for a while but I'm sucked back in. Each time I want to go the page I need to remind myself I need to be all about me. Not about them. H was given no indication he's coming around. He told me and others that his leaving me has nothing to do with her. (only partially true). The divorce is coming very quickly - maybe next month. I. must. move. on.

FYI, I do a lot of GAL and overall am functioning pretty well. I think the stress of the impending divorce and the uncertainty of the settlement has pushed me over the edge.


Me53
H48
M 13
No children together
BDMay '15
PA June '15
H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing
Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
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