Wife checked out

[2ltl2lt]

Thanks as always for your incredible insight Sandi

I had actually thought about some of these things but them old WWs are wiley creatures. I do believe that she hasn't been sexually active with anyone else but then again I have made the mistake of trusting her before.

My travels were great, I was able to do a lot of hiking and a lot of thinking. I can see how the attachment is affecting me and starting to see what I need to do to let go. It won't be easy and it won't be overnight but I at least have a starting point. I made a few decisions during my trip that will help me move on and get past how her actions are affecting me and the kids. One of which will be me going back to work for a company. I will still keep my business running in a limited capacity but need the security that a full time job offers. This is in anticipation of the worst and I won't be caught with my pants down again. I need to ensure the safety of the kids.

This is one thing that really irks me about the timing of her freak out. Right in the beginning of me trying to get started with my own business after years of planning. It's almost like she has picked the absolute worst way to get me. I'm sure it wasn't intentional and probably is part of the reason this is happening. She has been working for a year and a half basically supporting us during the start up. Never a dull moment with WW!

[2ltl2lt]

Went to IC this morning, she tells me I am doing well for the situation we are in. She is glad to see that I am keeping up with the kids and changing my thinking back toward myself. I told her about my travels and all of the things I did out in the world this past week. We discussed the interaction between me and W the day I was leaving for my trip. The night before I left W said she might sleep with another man that night and she left. The next morning she showed up at the house as I was loading up my camping stuff and was kinda following me around and looking anxious, she finally said hey I feel obligated to tell you that my date stood me up and I just had dinner with my girlfriend. She said she was too embarrassed to say anything the night before. I said how is your friend and it would have been nice if you could have taken the kids last night so I could've got going yesterday. Then I said (stupid) so what does this mean, six more weeks of winter? She looked very confused for a moment then said we could talk about it later. She took the kids and I left to go camping. IC thinks she is trying to see what reaction I would have. I tried to keep it calm and go about my business.

IC asked me how I dealt with her telling me she was going to be with another man and why would W tell you that. I think W is being open and honest now because she knows I would figure it out anyway and is trying to get me to have resentment toward her so she can feel better about what she is doing. IDK anymore and I'm beginning to not care about what she is doing or trying to do. Something tells me she is starting to see what it is going to be like out there and is trying to work it out her way. I am just going to let it play out for awhile and back off.

[2ltl2lt]

Doing good today, my S and I grilled some authentic Mexican meats and had a nice dinner. D is at dance and W will bring her home in a little while. We decorated the tree last night and I had the kids help cook. They are getting better about picking up their junk and putting it away as they go. Doing the laundry ain't that bad and keeping the house is getting easier everyday. I'm starting to find my rhythm with patience and STFU. It's actually easier to not say anything at all than to put myself through the anguish of R talks anyway. I guess if there was anything we could do we would have done it already.

[sandi2]

The LBH should never, EVER, chase his W while she is wayward.

You missed a perfect opportunity, when she was laying on the bed to say, "No thanks". Not only did she use you and take you for granted, but she was temp checking you.

[2ltl2lt]

I know

[Ancaire]

Hello, 2lt2lt! I was just checking in on you to see how you're doing. I was pleased to see the reminder from Sandi. It's so interesting how just reading other's threads, I always seem to find things that relate to me, too.

I really despise the games the WAS seem to enjoy playing. What is the point? They've already wrecked home, our lives, and our trust - yet, there they are...game playing.

I just don't understand most days. You seem to be doing pretty well in a lot of ways, though. Keep working on it...I'm working on it right along with you.

[2ltl2lt]

Thank you Ancaire,

I'm trying my best to leave her be, just gets hard when dealing with two young children and all of the running around picking up and dropping off. W and I have been working well together with this for the most part. She has joined a few of these Facebook singles groups in our area and has picked up a new group of "friends" along with it. She went to a Christmas party last night with them. She came out to the house this morning to go last minute shopping with me, she looked dead tired and very depressed. We went ahead and did some shopping and came home to watch the football game, she slept for the whole three hours.

We discussed me taking a new job and the logistics of the kids. She didn't seem very happy about my decision to go back to work. She doesn't know what she wants. I told her I was doing this to protect the kids and to be able to keep the house should we not be able to work things out. I believe she is still trying to hold on to the M for her own security. She just started a new job and has us all on her insurance. She still talks about the future as if we will R yet she is adamant that she doesn't want to work on our R right now because she's having fun. To me it looks like she is running herself ragged trying to keep up like a twenty year old single party girl and it's catching up with her.

It must be exhausting in the head of the WW.

On a brighter note, the kids are out of school for Christmas break and I will have a couple days off to do some fun activities with them. I'm thinking zoo and a couple museums.

Thank you to everyone who has been keeping up and offering advice on my sitch. I'm still a bit reluctant to offer too much of my own yet but I'm starting to warm up.

[2ltl2lt]

Howdy y'all,

I had another job interview yesterday, it went very well and reminded me of how valuable I am in my line of work. Big confidence boost there. The money would be great but I would have to put in some hours for a while. I have had the house to myself for the last two days and it has actually been pretty cool. I have never lived alone and really can't think of a time when I had any span of time to myself at the house. I could see me as a bachelor, not that it is what I want.

Starting to teach S how to drive the mower and how to keep it straight while cutting the grass. He loved it! We had a very clear night a couple days ago and got out the telescope to check out the moon. My D loved that she even drew a picture of it the next day.

My mom is still spitting venom about W. After she saw her at the bar with OM she has been rather hostile toward my sitch. I guess I can't blame her, I think if I had seen them there that night I would be doin time right now myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm DB'ing W and mom. Me and the kids will be spending Xmas eve at my moms without W and Xmas day at our house without my mom. Sad.

Shout out to Maximus: that was a badass post on AtPeace thread! You really have a great outlook on this stuff. I sometimes try to identify myself as Spock, half Vulcan half human. The hard part is knowing when to be one or the other.

Take it easy and Merry Christmas!!

[2ltl2lt]

Happy New Year!!

So my wife has been around more often for the last few days and has been more involved at the house. She has always loved this time of year and I was thinking that she might be having second thoughts about our MR. She still slept in the guest room each night but was very sweet and friendly during the day and around the kids. Then yesterday after the kids opened their Christmas presents she said she needed to get out for a while because it was all too much. When she came back I told her I love our family and I love her. We both retreated to the bedroom and cried for awhile and she said she has been trying to reconnect with me during this time but just didn't have the same feelings anymore. She feels like it is over. On Christmas Day no less. I told her that I would not stand in the way of her happiness and that I was willing to try and work on us. She completely withdrew after that so I went off to visit with some other family and friends.

Today we were to meet up at the IL's house. I left the house early and told her that I would meet them there at the specified time. When I got there and saw everyone and W and the kids I just welled up and broke down again. I thanked everyone and apologized for having to leave. I didn't want to ruin everyone else's good time so I went home to be alone for awhile. I hate myself for not being able to keep it together for the kids.

[Rouky]

Thanks for stopping by. I think you are right and that I should leave him to his own devise.