I'm in a new place in my mind now if that makes sense? I've truly moved on, detached. Like everyone said at the beginning. I will be ok. And I am. I'm in control of my own destiny now and man it feels good. My M is over. Done. No turning back and it's all about me and S10. WW? Still in the fog. For shame.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Thought it was time for an update. I know I haven't been around for a while but I've been busy organising the rest of my life. But I thought tonight deserved an update.
Tonight was the night we decided to split the small stuff. The larger assets were all agreed via email but the small stuff needed the personal touch.
Now for those needing to catch up remember my house is sold. My ExW is heavily pregnant with OM's baby and she has taken a lease on her own place that she moves into this weekend, hence the splitting of the assets. I move at the same time as Huddy. My M isn't salvageable.
Now today I emailed to say that tomorrow may be better simply because I'll be home earlier as I need to pick up S10. To be fair to the Ex she had made arrangements for tonight so I conceded that we could do it this evening but it was going to be late. I had no idea how long this was going to take.
Funny thing is, and for all the new DBers (Ghost, I'm looking at you) I felt perfectly fine. Calm, no stress and no attachment.
So when she came here she had her normal persona on her. She was as confident and self assured as the woman I loved. Nothing was phasing her. And nothing was phasing me. I was calm. Softly spoken and at times funny.
The mood was light. We joked a little but mostly kept to business. Both of us were generous because we both knew what we wanted. No arguments happened.
At the end of the evening we talked about a new schedule I want to implement for S10. I said I'd email her the details but she wanted to find out more. When I said i'd prefer to email her because it's getting late and I wanted to get comfortable she looked a little hurt. I thought I was imagining it so didn't say anything.
Then, for the first time since this started she started to weep. Not tears, weep. I instinctively moved towards her but stopped myself from the automatic hug. I haven't hugged my Ex since last Christmas. This is the only time I felt anything. I had butterflies in my stomach. But it quickly passed in seconds.
She then said, in a very teary voice that she was sad, and that she had to go. My leaving statement was for her to be careful driving. She was still crying when she got to her car.
That's the first time she's shown true remorse.
I did not cry. Still no tears even now. I'm steady as a rock.
I do feel sorry for my Ex. I really do. I hope it all works out for her.
Peace friends.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
You are a strong man NDY! I have thought about you often and wondered how you were doing! Thanks for the update.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
So, the loss has finally hit her. She is broken. I think you did brilliantly in this situation. When I first came to this board, I was a wreck and you, together with Pyrite and Smoothy (in addition to wonka/sandi2/cadet) helped me through the most painful, first few months. In a weird way, I am happy that you have coped so well, obviously, not for the situation, but your reaction and class in the face of an unending barrage of shite.
Ghost, if you're around, this is what you need to get to.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Thanks for the encouragement. Yea Huddy. I remember those days and I firmly believe that helping others that are a little behind us in the journey makes us stronger.
I slept like a baby last night. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't thinking about her. Still am but my perspective has changed quite considerably. I've moved on.
Peace
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Just seen your comment about your W on my thread. Wow. It looks like the loss has really kicked in. It's so sad. It's as if she wants you to share in the moment with her. Sigh!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I'm not sure if she is or she isn't, but I detect yet another rope pull. After last night and now today? Who knows but it isn't going to matter. It changes nothing and I'm not at the other end of that rope.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Thank you mate. I've been packing stuff up and moving stuff around. Totally fine.
I see this move like an operation. You know you'll feel so much better after the op but you still have a little anticipation that it's coming. But you know your in the best hands (our own) and will be great.
Peace
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
And you sound so strong. 