Oh dear, the first real bf wasn't marring type unfortunately in my case.
He was young immature and turns out latter his father left his mum for his long term mistress. Happens, but I doubt he's changed and we shall see. My ic said no matter how much pooh you pile on the truth it wiggles out someway.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Was out of your thread for awhile and find a BF in the game now? It's great or at least as my besties say: Some hugs and kisses do not hurt and make you feel good.
I guess as girls we need to start talking about the new lingerie and not only about the boots, well heels can go well with some Victoria Secret too. LOL
Love you talking about the horses, I grow up on a farm, had my own female black horse and still miss those days among the animals. The horses give so much in an emotional sense, they are really wonderful creatures.
I am amazed that you are still dealing with L and resolving issues with XH2. He is definitely a hard core human being.
About the gossips, it is always the same way everywhere, people enjoy the drama and is not very accepting on the fact that someone is strong enough to take reality the way it is and stand up against the odds. It is always a reason to talk about. I guess it is just a let go situation. Or for some Go to Hell situation.
No one should have a say in other people lives unless their opinion is asked, but they do what they do.
One thing has been bugging me. I updated myself on your thread and read too many times that the feeling of being less, not enough, coming short, not good enough comes several times in your comments.
GG, what is that about? I understand we go through all this nightmare of someone degrading us. But you sound as a gold woman, you are an amazing strong person and yet there is a layer of such discomfort inside of you.
I also read you are seeing a IC, any chance you are working on that side of you. It is imperative to get those nasty feelings out of yourself because they may be a key for your next R.
Feeling inferiority will always set you up in the wrong direction once some situations emerge and your reaction is based on some old wounds.
Please, let me know why you feel this way yet. I understand your XH2 did a number for years in building that inside of you, but he is gone and those feelings should be addressed and understood by you in order to get a full life.
You are a very young lady, full of energy and beauty. Life has been punching you in a head and side ways but you are still standing. So, open up here about this aggravation, it is good to talk about and get to that sweet spot where you can see very clear that you are not what XH2 created.
There are still some demons to deal with and I would just love you face them now and feel better tomorrow.
But, as usual I would love to meet you personally, you seem to be a lot of fun, crazy spirit, and I love it. Thanks for stopping by my thread, as you saw even after the D, I am still dealing with some crap.
Maybe I need a BF like GG. Have been missing some affection, some real hugs and kisses.
Love and hugs beautiful, let us know about the lingerie.
To a degree, yes I do feel less than at considerable amount of time.
Yes this is a hang over from xh2 who's main complaint was that I had self worth that didn't need his major input. I was more than Independant enough to just do my thang in a hay seed farm life way.
It's is also a thing that comes from work life I work in retail and as you might well be aware customers have the right to decided if we measure up and complain. I have some complain I made an off hand jokey type comment about some they bought or the way I sneezed and how I handled that event ie, not being apologetic enough to the customer. In that regard of late there has been a big smear type campaign at work of those who want the heat of them. Therefore they make up stuff. I'm finding very clever ways to show my actions, as by standing up for one self in that regard we are called argumentive if we put our side. Our side is also not believed as its in managements interest to say x was tardy so now Ive spoken to x, she is making bulling complaints.
Also pink some of those not measuring up stories on your thread where to show those other girls who's hubbys called them hoes, that is not that uncommon and it has no cutural boundary or even country of orgin boundary. The question we should have asked when we were conpared to somthing is how does our h have knowledge of what a street walkers qualities In the ml dpt are?
And to those girls to understand that's their h justification for their behiavours of cheating etc in the longer term to make you out to be bad rather than own their share. To deflect of them onto you thus diverting the Balme and responsibility.
Thru this site and some other friends I have worked some clever ways to actually show in a my word against someone else's that I do the right thing. Which there has been a smear campaigning from xh2 and a gsslighting program that's made me look like I had some credibility issues. Those things take time to deminish.
The gossips I love, for a couple or reasons it's always funny to hear others version of your story which is often very far fetched that it is very funny. I get a giggle that those people who think they don't care spend a lot of time just shooting the breeze about me and other things which show they do care and have an interest.
Talking of stories, one gossipy story if true suggested I was completely right about xh2 he has not changed one little bit and is still up to some of his not very nice tricks. It's no wonder he protects such nasty behaivour onto others the guilty feelings he carries must be a huge burden. I can't help but have some sympthy.
But nc nc nc nc nc it's just working for me. Oh and as for sexy nickers I spend up big time sometime ago, when bc came onto the scene.
Another fact pink I'm only a few years younger than you!
Last edited by Ggrass; 12/16/1511:35 PM.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I want this done, I want my expenses and my $ back along with my possessions, Also getting to meet the bf family at Christmas, I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about it as we have to stay with them. First meeting and a sleep over at the pil!
He gets to spend Christmas Day with mine as first meeting. Just the day, which is far easier IMHO.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
GG, sorry you needed to go through so much abuse and pain. I remember seeing my mom enduring so much. I never understood why my mom wouldn't just say enough and react against my father.
And maybe that is what happen, these cowards they induce fear and paralyze their victims. I by other hand, confronted my father once I was very young, about 15y old. He started his old accusation and fear mode and I just lost it. I jumped on him, took all the bottoms of his shirt, had my nails in his face and neck.
Well, he left to cool down and I stayed awake until he got back home, just to make sure he understood that I would not put up with that any longer. Since then, I never back down for anyone. I guess I found out that the more fear we develop, the more abusive the other person becomes.
But GG has other plans, and BF on her pocket. Along with the adventures in her farm, gossips in her neighborhood and boots, hills, and fancy lingerie. You are so much fun and amazing. Would love to visit you and ride some of those wonderful horses alongside with you.
Meeting BF's family is never very easy. Hope they are cool and things go smooth. Remember do not get to anxious and eat too much, be careful with those pounds because it is hard work to get rid of them.
Glad the situation with L and the D are getting resolved, it is time humm ! Money is always welcome and much more when it belongs to you in the first place.
Keep being GG, you are an amazing person. Next time you see your IC, try to talk about this feelings of inferiority that you develop during an abusive marriage, he may have some techniques you can use to get rid of these nasty feelings.
Remember that non one is less or more in this earth, we are all worthy. We know about a thing or two and we lack knowledge about a thing or two. No one is perfect. All what it is are people that want to be right, then they start ruling other people's life.
Be you GG, and do not care about anyone else. Whoever likes you will love you for what you are.
To be honest I was always the stand up and fight back.
Then things change they get you to agree to things by covert stealth. Xh2 would always have his plan for certain things well out. He would defend his needs or plans over and above he would just keep hammering and pushing your boundary back and back. Til, you had no idea how you ended up there.
See an abuser trades on your generous side. They make mistakes, which need your generous forgiveness to prove your the person you say. You are in the role of constantly proving and fixing. Your mistakes of getting angry and calling him crazy or stupid or just losing your temper as some of us do from time to time is used as a major sin.
Your setting boundaries and calling them out on their behaviours will get you all sorts of covert and overt punishments so that you play the rug sweep, then the rug sweep is used as your sin. Your mum might have been so down trodden for so long that there was no win. It was your dads way or no way. Mine now I see used guns as a covert thing as well always having an illegal pistol loaded in the bed side draw. Making sure you never got a full sleep, and while he never actually hit me in the Truest sense he did kick hell out of me most times he was upset about something claiming it was beyond his control and was asleep.
What I'm trying to say via examples is they find ways to manipulate those things you know wrong and hard to explain to ways they can logically like I don't deliberately kick you but I cannot help lashing out without knowledge while asleep. Realistically I cannot prove he was doing it while awake, it could have been like sleep walking as we can all jump and move in our sleep with no malice.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Inserting somethings where the sun don't shine, is one of my major fantasies given a dark night and opportunity.
Well the rocket under the L has worked she's put together a settlement offer. Let's hope it's sorted quickly but given xh2 control issues and the fact he really still wants to maintain a Connection over you then this might still take awhile even tho the dead lines very soon after business next year.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Merry Christmas!!!! Have been thinking about you this whole XMas time. I am super curious to know how did things go with the visit to BF's family and I know today you and him are meeting your family.
Please, tell us all what happen. And I hope it was all good.
Happy your L is moving. I think the only way to stop the nightmare is facing it. In your case, there is no other way around, it is head on and try to avoid concusion.
Just always remember that he has no power over you "Ever", the only power he has is the one you allow him to have. No intimidation, no fear... just politely ask him to go to hell and don't really bother yourself.
Hope the law will help the situation and make things right so it can all be resolved soon and GG can tell us all her new adventures with BF.
My family were OK, as such pretty normal for them loud as always but a little reserved. I considered it a success. Bf thought it went really well and they are "nice" in his words.
His family it was a huge whole day drive, took the dawgs as there is always a premium on kennels etc at Christmas. My mob are happier with me. So they came too.
That's kind of where the first sticking point came, his mum and dad really aren't dog people in the same way I am. They tend to think differently and that's kind of ok if they had their own dawgs and didn't want to "help me" with mine contradicting some of the ways I relate to mine. Really in some ways it's like trying to interfere with someone else's children a tough call.
His mum is unwell on dialysis and really I think the time they will Have in their house on borrowed time. I doubt they Weill be there in 5-10 years. My guts says they will need help in their life sooner. It's hard.
So with the health issues while welcoming in some ways it was hard work, mum seems to be really pa, she just drops "nice hints" and then keeps pushing. So while the plan was a longish visit, it wasn't really easy for them so we came back sooner. Which has been nice.
Since I was home early I had big plans but the days was write off, driving about 9hours back there was a rest day then a shopping day as food was short. Yesterday and today rainy, so I have been back in the continuing fill the bin project.
Some of your might remember I was trying to fill the wheelie bin with stuff to achieve some organisation and de clutter. So the bin tonight is full
It's just to hard and big a job to do in one go. Plans are being made for future house renovations and improvements. Some will not be as hard as I though or think, others will take $ (which are short) and be on the longer time frame.
Thanks pink, it's funny how we do tend to relate and wonder how others are going.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
