To contact or not to contact that is the question

[SciDad]

Interesting... What's your take on his sincerity?

[Sotto]

Hi Jpeg, I would let him know there is only youngest around and he may want to link with them to arrange another date. Of course, you will already have going out plans once that date is set up, and will breezily head out of the door leaving behind a waft of delicious scent.

If you don't want him in the home cooking dinner, perhaps you could suggest he arrange to take them out for dinner.

Above all else, remember that if he is with OW, he doesn't get to spend time with you. Plus, I think the kids are old enough for him to link direct with them. IMHO - Anything else that involves you is cake-eating and I wouldn't go there (of course, he may just be asking for another slice now...but if your own boundary holds firm then no problem.

I wouldn't ask him why he wants to do this....as long as he's with OW, I don't think that matters too much...JMHO of course and good luck with whatever you decide xx

[Jpeg]

SciDad - I know he misses the kids or at least misses "the family" we use to be. I think it hurts his ego that the kids aren't talking to him - he wants everything to "be okay" and no one is "okay" with this other than OW and a bunch of his divorced acquaintances who support that this is just the way it is now a days:( marriages aren't suppose to last forever:(

[Sotto]

Yes, actions have consequences and we have to live the path we choose. Others react in response to our actions and we don't get to control them.

If others don't think it is 'okay' they won't fall in with plans we would like. Just the reality of situations like these I think.

You may not even want to go as far as responding to his request. You've had a few suggestions from posters - what are you inclined towards doing my friend?? x

[Jpeg]

Sotto - I replied to the text (after he sent ANOTHER one asking what he should make for dinner, then another once suggesting he make .....(a traditional family receipt he use to make all the time)
I simply said - you should check with the kids re who will be home

I had also replied to an email earlier in the day regarding school financial matter with D20. Anyway that response was all business nothing personal but then he replied to that with an endearment and I couldn't help it. It made me smile and melted my heart. So I responded and said it made me smile and then he replied that he was smiling too MIL also told me today that he had been talking about me. I am falling for his charm (which everyone does)

GB I really am not an idiot but I really do love him. This is so hard.

[Jpeg]

Anc he wants to make dinner for kids because he hasn't seen them in 3 months. This is cracking his "family man" persona. When all his/ our friends ask how the kids are he has a hard time answering ( well not really but he knows as he answers he is lying ) because he doesn't know what is going on with them

As you can see from my above posts I cracked and responded but I'm not going to tell him what kids are working etc he will have to check with them. The reason he is asking me is because most of them are not answering his tesxts. This is really getting to him

[Jpeg]

Pho how are u today after your waiting wine consumption?
I did replie to H - after 3 texts and two emails he sent today. I was brief but did cave on one where he complimented me and I told him that made me smile. I know I know I shouldn't have. As I sit here now I think ugh why did I say that? He really gets to me

[mutatio]

Jpeg, I don't think your husband can turn on a dime. Whats happening could set the stage for his aha moment, when he see's where his actions have led him. I think that you told him you smiled is okay. I also think treating him like tolerated neighbor is essential. He will soon learn that you may have feelings for him but your not going to take his sh!t.

[Jpeg]

Thanks Mutatio I was starting to feel like such a dope for telling him I smiled at his comment I think he says whatever he needs to to make everyone like him. I'm not special

[mutatio]

You are special, your husbands a fool. Any man that would turn his back on his wife for his ego is that.