Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Something of a pattern is emerging this week. I walk home from the station, start preparing my meal and W fires a complaint at me.
My W was arranging a fire of old financial papers in the brazier, in the garden. No problems, but I had asked her to do my papers, but I find them still in the same place. I ask if W can do this for me tomorrow and that starts an argument about how I don't speak clearly enough to her.
Is this a normal pattern before a split? It's getting a bit tiresome getting it in the neck every night for nothing. As her dreams are coming true, shouldn't she start feeling happy?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I don't think it's a before/after the split that causes it. It's the realisation it's not all rainbows and unicorns. My Ex was lucid at BD but her comprehension definitely took a nose dive once I grew a pair.
Btw the Ex is very unhappy at the mo. They say they notice out changes? Well it works both ways.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Well, it was only a couple of weeks since your STBXW broke down in front of you and you didn't bend over backwards to comfort her. You reap what you sow. You're big upstanding NDY now; invincible and she don't like it. She wants you to sit in a corner, rocking, crying, begging and you're not complying. Good work that man!
Hi Painter
Yes I have said that to her. On Sunday she complained that I was taking the setee with me (well, I do pay for it!) so I said fine, I'll take the bed, to which she complained that it was hers (funny, I don't remember her paying for it) and the circle of nonsense continued, so I just bowed out of it, laughing.
It just goes to prove, in WAW/WW land, nothing is logical!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Well, three nights to spend in the same house together and the spew machine has gone in to overdrive.
Yesterday, I bought a new TV/Freesat box/sound bar for my flat. I didn't tell W I was doing it but have had to bring it in the house so it doesn't get damp. That set off the first spew. 'How did you pay for that?', 'Have you put it on the credit card' etc. I could have been hard and told her it was none of her business, but I told her I'd got it on interest free offer at the shops. I can pay it off with next months pay packet.
Today, W had asked if she could see where my flat was, so she knew how to get there. Fine, makes sense, agreement made to do so after I come in from work. Instead, I arrive home to a full scale assault about 'why have you taken the pictures out of my [sic] bedroom?'. Well, I haven't and I reminded her it was my bedroom as well. That got the eyes rolling in her head and she repeated it was her bedroom. I then pointed out where the pictures were (they were no more than four foot away from her). She then made further accusations about me moving stuff (I haven't, but what's the point in arguing) and then went in to a strop - 'I'm not going to see where your flat is'. Fine, I'll take my shoes off and have something to eat then.
I suppose you could say my W doesn't like me standing up for myself. I have always played the apeaser; trying to make sure W doesn't get upset or that things are just right for her, but no more. I am not being treated like sh1t anymore. I told her that and that she needed to show some respect in fromt of the children. Cue more eye rolling. Rebellion is burning brightly in my W right now and I really don't recognise her at all. Her mannerisms, her actions are from somebody I would never have contemplated being with. I really do wish I understood what is going on her brain.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
What's going on in her head? I wouldn't worry about that. I'd consider just starting on a list of what you want and what she wants. If you cast your mind back to when I moved back to my house there was hell because she wasn't getting what she wanted. Remember the bathroom incident?
It's clear to me that my ExW wanted to keep everything in her life just as it was except displace me and move in OM. As that plan blew up in her face her behaviour deteriorated. I think something similar may be going on with your w but the strange thing is you are complying with what she wants by moving to different addresses.
I really don't know what to say mate except it's only for a couple more days. Hang in there.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Yes, I see what you're saying bud. I actually think by getting a different address, I'm not complying. I think she really wanted me to sink in to oblivion; you know, homeless; a crying sobbing mess. I think that hasn't worked out for her, so, she's blasting away.
Three more nights. I know it's sad to say, but I'm actually looking forward to some space. I'll miss the kids, but she's even started to mellow on that angle, but I just don't want this continues cycle of hate as soon as I walk in the door anymore.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
You know I've said before about being apart relieving the stress. Ok when we're still hanging onto the rope that's the last thing you want to hear but when you wake up and see the sitch for what it really is? Not so much.
Couple more days dude.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
