I get that part of it azz, it's just like the past almost year... Nothing I do is ever good enough. At the start of this, 50/50 was 50/50. We each paid half of everything. Over time, (my fault for giving in) when she would cry poverty, I would step up and take care of our son. It got to the point now, that she has absolutely no financial responsibility for S4. The only thing that costs her anything is gas to come to swaps. I have even given gas money (saves me from having to travel the whole way), groceries (makes sure my child is fed), and whatever else she may have played the guilt card on.
Then she has the nerve to tell me a few weeks back that "she is proud of herself because she is doing this all on her own. Everything she has is because she busted her a**." I about fell out of my chair!
I didn't say anything at the time, just left her ramble on. But miss "independent" as she claims wants to be independent of everything but my wallet. Apparently she thinks I owe her alamony even though we were never married? That is mind reading but what else could she be looking for...
Last edited by Uphill; 12/01/1503:06 PM.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I've realized these past few days that I have to really work on what takes up my head space. I can't seem to go more than a few minutes without either getting frustrated, upset, angry... This whole situation (as everybody here understands) has turned my world upside down. All the incorrect things that have been blamed on me, all the things that have been said. I react to them the best I can, but they stick in my head. Without these "false" things XF has nothing to explain any of this. I do understand that they are how she feels and that is valid to her, but what I don't understand is where it is all coming from. For a few days she will warm up, then it's almost like somebody 2x4's her and puts her walls back up?
A vicious cycle. Without the warm times, I start detaching and getting on with my life. Then I catch a glimpse of the "old" XF and spin.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
It got to the point now, that she has absolutely no financial responsibility for S4. The only thing that costs her anything is gas to come to swaps. I have even given gas money (saves me from having to travel the whole way), groceries (makes sure my child is fed), and whatever else she may have played the guilt card on.
So, what will you be giving her in child support? What are you giving her now?
I just dont see how you can be upset with her for getting what is legally hers. It [censored] to have to go through the courts. I get it. But it is what it is. Just a business arrangement.
The problem I have azz, in my calculations with L she won't be getting any more from me. Maybe even a little less. But now I had to schedule days off work for hearings and lawyer bills are piling again. Who does it benefit? Neither one of us. The lawyers and the court system are the only ones ahead
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
But now I had to schedule days off work for hearings and lawyer bills are piling again.
I understand.
But, at least you will have a court order for what you owe. That way you wont feel taken advantage of. You wont feel used. You wont feel like you need to "measure up". You can pay her XYZ on the first of the month and be done with it.
I have already bled as much money for this situation as I can afford. This is now chewing away at cash I need to pay bills. It's just crazy how somebody you did everything for, for so long, keeps finding ways to jab you in the ribs.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Trust me, I understand. XW picked what has to be the fanciest law firm in the city and the divorce has cost over $6K that I didnt have, when we basically agreed on everything to begin with. It's incredible what this all costs.
But, Im glad to have ground rules set out that are fixed by the courts, so I dont have to be made to feel guilty in the future.
I will just be glad when there is nothing left for her to milk my wallet with. I'm guessing next I will get papers telling me how to comb my hair??? Haha
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I'm guessing next I will get papers telling me how to comb my hair???
Thank goodness I had already lost all of mine.
To your point, I remember thinking a few times "well, at least this is the end." Here's the thing, as long as you are both coparenting S4, it will NEVER end. What CAN end is how you react to stuff. Eventually, it will just stop hurting. It's like if you jabbed Superman in the ribs - I dont think it would bother him much.
