Well, last night at kid swap I got another kick in the guts... I've spent the past 12 hours trying to comprehend what is happening. XF now went ahead and filed for child support. Which I get, if I wasn't already paying everything for our son. I just don't know which way to turn right now? Do I continue paying what I have been and act like nothing happened? Or stop and let her see how much she is already getting?
Should be getting a call back from my lawyer shortly, hopefully have some answers after that conversation...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
If she feels entitled to a certain amount of money for child support then let the L and court decide what is fair and that's what she gets. If it ends up being lower than she wants just remind her she was the on who decided to file for it and your just doing what she wanted. You can always do more for S when your with him but she has a responsibility to take care of him when she has him.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
That's what I don't get fogg. She has 0 financial responsibility for S4 at this point. We have 50/50 custody. I don't know what she is thinking? She won't get alamony, hence the XF instead of XW...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Consequences of her actions, let her figure it out if she wants it to be fair according to the courts. Me and my W split most things but I have them more often and make more money. She's said in the past she doesn't want my money or to mooch off of me so she never wants to go through child support. I'm fine with paying more, I do in gas that's for sure just driving them to daycare and school. W doesn't realize it but if she ever did file for child support and the overnights stayed the same as they have been the last 2 months it would be me getting it, not her. Again, her decision if she did and she would have to live it with. Just like your XF will have to realize this. If she feels entitled and wants the court to decide what she's deserves, well, let the court decide what she deserves.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Yep, that's how I gotta let it fall into place. Still waiting for lawyers return call...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I agree with fog on this. Never mind 'why' she's going through the court just deal with the fact that she is. If she ends up with less then so be it. I believe it's the whole entitlement thing. I could make you laugh with some of the things my ExW said she should have and I should have during our demise. Thank you Scottish Law for 50/50. No argument there.
Anyway you follow Huddy. You've seen the stink his WAW made over their accommodation and where she blamed HIM for HER mess. Just mental.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
In the UK we have an agency called the CMA. Once up on a time it was known for being hideously in favour of the mother, basically destroying the father's financial standing. It's original aim was to get errant fathers to pay their share of maintenance costs, but it was actually used by some people as another stick to beat their former spouse with.
Following reform, they are now more in tune with financial realities and they provide a guideline, on their website, about the level of financial help that is expected from (mainly) husbands. It does, however, also say that if the former spouse isn't happy, they can go to court, but the costs have to be bourn by them and it is no guarantee that they will get more and even if they do, it doesn't alter any custody agreement, and, they also have to pay fees for the service and the amount is fixed forever more, regardless of changing circumstances.
WW/WAW's should really think about these things before they start challenging things through the courts. I don't know where you are on the planet, but I guess there might be something similar where you are.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I am in the US. It's pretty cut and dry in my state. The way I understand it (from an online calculator) I would pay her around $500 a month. But then out of that, she is responsible for daycare, his insurance,ect... So in the end, I THINK it is actually in my favor? Compared to paying everything as I am now.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Also, that is factoring in rough numbers for salaries. I don't have exact numbers in front of me... Should be pretty close though
Last edited by Uphill; 11/24/1504:37 PM.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Happy thanksgiving everybody! Enjoy your day friends!!!
Nothing to report on the home front. Still waiting to hear from L. XF still on the run. Me and S4 living life .
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
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