Crawling out of the woodwork for the online dating conversation...
MB, are you really ready to date? Or is this more of a "let's sign up for this site and keep it just online/regain some confidence because people are interested in me" sort of thing? I did that second one for a month or so before my D was final but then didn't feel quite right needing to explain to people I was still M, so decided to deactivate and hold out for when I really felt I could reply wholeheartedly (and less awkwardly).
But maybe you are ready, I dunno.. if so, woohoo! Let the fun begin I agree w/ mozza in that if you're not interested it's better just to not answer at all - you're going to get so many messages it'd be impossible to keep up. If you are interested, keep the online convo to a minimum before meeting up. You could spend weeks chatting with someone online and it's great and then be totally turned off by something in-person within the first five minutes, so getting the in-person meeting set up relatively quickly is helpful. And, I think it's good to be upfront about your situation, if it's not already in your profile. There are ways to work it in.. "Sorry, I've been a little slow at responding lately, I was a bit busy with some paperwork. I'm actually in the process of getting divorced as we're still finishing up some of the legal items." Or "do you have kids? I have three. They live with me most of the time, though...their father and I are still working out the legalities of that." I'm assuming kids comes up when you're at the kid-having age during online dating..?
Going back to being ready... my opinion is that if it's not yet "just about the paperwork", dating is going to be tough. With some of your posts in this thread, I wonder. Regardless, be honest and upfront and if you do meet up with someone make sure you're 100% focused on them I found a 6' 4'' guy online.. the tall ones are out there!
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
I'm completely divorced. I'm on Match, so it says in my profile that I have three kids who live with me.
I'm a people person, so to the extent that dating is about getting to know new people and exploring the area, I'm completely ready. The idea of sex is kind of terrifying, but I don't think waiting around will make that any better considering what the fear is about, so I'll just see how things work out. I do get slightly freaked out when guys want to share phone numbers but feeling the fear and doing it anyway seems to be good for me.
I can not believe how many people have turned out of the woodwork to respond to my profile. I did have a phone chat with one guy on Saturday but that was clearly not going to work so I sent him an email yesterday. It was very freeing to be open about saying that we weren't a match.
It is amazing to me how little I care about Mr. Fantastic now that I have other places to turn my attention. It's not like I want him back. When things were tough it was easy to just indulge in being angry with him for making my life harder. Now they seem to be on an upswing -- I have a job interview this afternoon, there are people interested in me on Match, a friend is angling to introduce me to someone she knows personally, the things about my house that were freaking me out before I got fired are resolving, and although I'm not super thrilled with my financial situation at least I know that's going to be improving soon as well. My frustrations are partly relieved and have I other places to put my attention that are a lot more positive, and so I can let go of some of that anger I was harboring against him. My opinion of him hasn't improved; just my interest in reacting to his choices.
With regards to tall guys -- I'm talking to one who's 6'7" at the moment...
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Oooh, I'm sorry, I must have missed a thread in-between somewhere. I haven't been following as closely as I used to..! Didn't realize everything was final. I'll have to do some bedtime reading I was really scared of the sex part too only having done that with my H. But once I met someone that I felt comfortable with (and actually went on more than two date with...), it was not so scary. Your post sounds so positive - yay! And I'm way too short for these tall guys (5' 2'').
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
Maybell, if you have a chance, go over to Newcomers and help out my friend Ep. My STBX is too nice to give me enough experience to advise her. Ironic, isn't it? But your X is as big a pain in the neck as hers, maybe you can pass along some tips.
With regards to tall guys -- I'm talking to one who's 6'7" at the moment...
Lol - my first boyfriend after my divorce was 6'6". The next was 6'4". Then 6'3". Then 6'6" (this one might have lied, he looked more like 6'7" to me). Then 6'5". Current boyfriend is 6'3".
My ex is 5'10". I only had one really tall boyfriend in college, the rest were average height. Don't know what it was about me after-divorce that attracted all these tall guys, but I love it!
Lol - my first boyfriend after my divorce was 6'6". The next was 6'4". Then 6'3". Then 6'6" (this one might have lied, he looked more like 6'7" to me). Then 6'5". Current boyfriend is 6'3".
My ex is 5'10". I only had one really tall boyfriend in college, the rest were average height. Don't know what it was about me after-divorce that attracted all these tall guys, but I love it!
I need some pointers in attracting the tall ones, kml. I'm 5'10", and it would be great to wear my favorite heels without hearing that I'm tall. Yeah...been this tall since I was 14, I'm well aware of that, thanks.
