V, thank you for reaching out to me. I didn't want to accept what was right in front of me. I grew up with that crap (abuse), and swore I wouldn't accept it as an adult....and yet somehow, I did. You are absolutely correct...now that I know, I cannot unknow.
Your warmth, support, and caring? Invaluable to me...more priceless than you will ever know. I wanted to give up so very badly, yet you lovingly showed me a better path.
I'm on a journey now...the journey of a lifetime. My emotions are still all over the place, but I know one thing for certain. I must go forward, chaotic emotions and all. I feel certain there is a destiny for me ahead, something I could never have imagined - but I can only reach it after I've completed my healing.
I've learned so much from you, and I've barely gotten started. I am encouraged by your story and your willingness to share. People like you often work tirelessly for others with little thanks, yet you never have that expectation to receive thanks. I want to thank you, though. From the bottom of my heart, you have my gratitude for opening my eyes and gently nudging me on this journey.
I have so much excitement about where this road will lead!
JellyB thank you for the candles, rainbow love and great supportive posts. I have needed them.
I have been silent although there has been a development.
WH had a friend text and ring me last Sunday. I didn't answer the call and the phone recorded 10 minutes of what was going on in the background.
WH was ranting at his friend and threatening me directly. Wanting to cause me harm because he believes I owe him cash. I don't it's actually the other way round. This is quite frightening for me. My L is pressing for a tighter non molestation order.
WH has been seen in the village. I am very afraid of this man and now he has threatened me and it's recorded by accident. But it is.
I text my response to his friend " there is nothing about you that I want to know, please do not contact me again"
Then I blocked her.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 11/14/1506:32 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
V, thank you for reaching out to me. I didn't want to accept what was right in front of me. I grew up with that crap (abuse), and swore I wouldn't accept it as an adult....and yet somehow, I did. You are absolutely correct...now that I know, I cannot unknow.
Your warmth, support, and caring? Invaluable to me...more priceless than you will ever know. I wanted to give up so very badly, yet you lovingly showed me a better path.
I'm on a journey now...the journey of a lifetime. My emotions are still all over the place, but I know one thing for certain. I must go forward, chaotic emotions and all. I feel certain there is a destiny for me ahead, something I could never have imagined - but I can only reach it after I've completed my healing.
I've learned so much from you, and I've barely gotten started. I am encouraged by your story and your willingness to share. People like you often work tirelessly for others with little thanks, yet you never have that expectation to receive thanks. I want to thank you, though. From the bottom of my heart, you have my gratitude for opening my eyes and gently nudging me on this journey.
I have so much excitement about where this road will lead!
Thank you Anc, I look forward to more lovely, wonderful interactions. It has been my great pleasure to part of your journey to you.
I absolutely know you pay it forward. There are only a handful of us here in abuse sitches and it takes a great deal of effort to support a target. Even those of us in recovery struggle. I am sad you are here and glad you are here for our benefit and your sake.
If that makes sense?
My great pride to see you grow, I look forward to your posts with great healing, we have only just begun.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 11/14/1506:40 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
V I am so sorry to hear this has been your experience.
You are well versed in your safety plan and a lawyers intervention is required as you said. I am not sure if this behaviour would meet a threshold for a breach of your order. It definitely would here in NZ and warrant at the least a conversation between himself and police officer.
The hyper-vigilence and re-triggering this type of behaviour creates is so unsettling for the mind and soul. I appreciate fully the level of fear this behaviour likely creates in you. My mother, myself and siblings experienced similar outbursts from my father and his friends. Building your sense of safety and personal control of it, will take some time. But not beyond the power of V and her higher power.
I hope you find some solace and safety here in the DB community. We love you so very much.
You have been an anchor point for me so many time. Given me perspective when I have needed it, and sign posts and light to a pathway to self love. The road had been very dark V. I followed that beautiful Vanilla scent. And look where I am. LOL
I know it is not my place, but I have strong personal investment in your happiness and freedom from where you are now. I know your faith is strong too V that with all things, this too shall pass.
Just checking in to say hello. I am sorry about the most recent development. It seems like we are both looking over our shoulders. Please please take good care of yourself.
V, just curious...why do you and Jelly refer to rainbow love? I keep picturing the Teletubbies every time I see it. (Hours and hours of that show x5 kids!)
Somehow, I don't believe you two are referring to either creepy dancing dolls or Gay Pride. Am I right?
Ugh V - I'm sorry to hear to this....that can't have been a nice thing for you to hear. I think the right thing is to pass it along to your L so due steps can be taken. Also, do take due security precautions yourself won't you? Does the organisation which offered you early support and counselling have any further assistance available?
Take care V xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
V, just curious...why do you and Jelly refer to rainbow love? I keep picturing the Teletubbies every time I see it. (Hours and hours of that show x5 kids!)
Somehow, I don't believe you two are referring to either creepy dancing dolls or Gay Pride. Am I right?
This is both wonderful and dangerous. A couple of warnings, we only project strength and love when another accepts that projection. Secondly we can only do so from a place of strength and cleansing.
Otherwise we project to someone whose idea of love and strength is different to our own and in addition we project our rubbish.
JellyB and I agree on rainbow strength and love, JellyB cleansed used candles and sent rainbows from her tummy, or lower chakra. This sends warmth and strength. Rainbows are positive for both of us.
Sometimes I send strength, say prayers or meditate. If the other knows then they can choose to absorb that or not. One should never project unless the other is aware and receptive. I believe I have offered my strength to you when things were truly weakening you, you can chose to open the door to it if you wish. That strength to you is more like laser light than rainbows. Rainbows are very healing. Laser style adds energy when another is in danger.
Here is how it is done, we ground ourselves feet to the floor, then go to our soul centre, gathering our best thoughts. Then we observe the other and send to them our very best. JellyB and I send via rainbows.
Projecting is agreed between two people. I used to wrap WH in warmth and love when he was angry, however this caused him to enjoy being angry it made it pleasurable for him, he enjoyed anger with a warm glow!
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This is the safest way from the Chakra systems – 7 or more energy centres of the human body (One on each place – by the head, forehead, throat, heart, chest, naval, and groin/ base of spine – where the crown chakra of the head is always connected to the higher energies, and the base chakra is connected to the grounding energies of the Earth!).
One way of sending Love & light and strength is to use the Chakras. First, it is important to ground and centre, then ensure that you are connected to the higher and lower (crown and base) energies, then make sure that energy is flowing through all the chakras, and that they are all balance – then begin any sort of healing work. This is done from a clean safe mind.
And in this respect, you may find it useful to charge up your Heart Chakra from energies from above and energies from the Earth below (this is after all the one in the middle, with 3 chakras above and 3 below) – and `project’ that energy from the heart chakra to the person you wish to send it to.
A variation on this – ) – is to send the energy from your heart Chakra, to the heart chakra of the other person this is short distance only. This can be considered `interfering’ so only do this if you have permission or request from that other person, and only to be used if you are absolutely clear and experienced about handling your own transpersonal projections of personal emotional stuff!
Sending Light (the Star connection)
We are all made of Star dust! Stars of old had been born, grown and exploded as Supernova, and their dust and ashes have hung around for millions of years and coalesced to form new planets and stars.. and one of those planets is Earth, and we are born of all the particles and molecules found on Earth! So, we are made of Star Dust!
What this means, is that at one point in the distant past – the atoms and molecules that make up our body now – have been inside Stars, and shining, and producing light!
That light is within us.
So esoterically and magically speaking, the light of those stars gone by – still lay within us. Although humans and animals and plants are now mass-objects now, we are all full of light.
And energy of that sort can have a purpose or message etched into it as it is produced – Healing, energising, love, Compassion, hope, inspiration!
The above is adapted from my notes originating somewhere in cyberspace!
Does that help?
Last edited by Vanilla; 11/15/1506:11 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
