I don't think that means you can't meet at all, it just means you can't post private information for obvious privacy reasons. I imagine too, they don't want people soliciting others here, for example to find people and take them off the boards for private, for profit coaching. Couldn't a person say "we are having a meetup at McDonald's cafe on Tuesday at 6pm?" That is not private, it is a public meeting and would seem to be in the spirit of these boards. A shame they block private messages. One of the only forums I've seen that does this. But I can see the rationale for doing so.
H:54 W:46 D:11 D:21 M:12 BD:1/15 In-house Separation 2/15 DB started 7/15, W sees consistency 9/15 Dropping the rope and having her leave 2/16, moves 5/16 Reconciliation 1/17 Obviously still struggling
Well those terms and conditions are different to the ones posted in the sticky now. Virginia added a clarification:
"It was never our intention to provide a means of privately connecting with others via the internet. There are many other sites where that is encouraged. This is not one of them."
One might argue the intent or legal definition of "privately". Are there DB support groups? That might be a great resource.
H:54 W:46 D:11 D:21 M:12 BD:1/15 In-house Separation 2/15 DB started 7/15, W sees consistency 9/15 Dropping the rope and having her leave 2/16, moves 5/16 Reconciliation 1/17 Obviously still struggling
I agreed to the purple wording on the previous page. That was the choice I made. That was my choice to agree.
A clarification is lovely to have, but it is just that a clarification. If the wording in the clarification should replace the wording I agreed to then replace the purple wording. Then ask me to agree to that new wording.
I hold to my agreement.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 10/29/1507:23 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I have a slightly different twist on your in laws, they are your children's grand parents, they are clearly unwell and you are very dear to them. You might want a quick brief contact even if only by phone, wishing them well, or send a small note via the kids, just saying that you want the best for them. It would be a small kindness for your kids.
Agree with V here, I don't see the big deal about being nice to the inlaws if you had a good relationships before. I'm quite cozy with my inlaws, I like them, they like me, and I think it's important for my kids to see that their grandparents are worth spending time with, even though their dad left me. He's the odd man out, not me.
Thanks for the posts Sunny and Vanillia. My take on the inlaws is they have to support their Daughter. When she introduces her next R person then it gets awkward for the inlaws to have a relationship with me. They live in the UK and as such I don't have any dealings with them save a couple of times a year over the phone
As the M is dead and buried why keep contact with inlaws ( other than polite when needed ) Maybe it's the. Child in me but when EXW finished the M then all ties related to that M should also be finished otherwise you are leaving the door open to more hurt.
The last thing I would want is to hear how great W was in a new R and keeping contact with inlaws only opens the door to hearing stuff that would not be appreciated at the moment at least.
I did speak to FIL a few months back and explained that he has access to the kids at all times and the kids needed him and MIL in their lives I also explained that I would feel awkward in a face to face now that EXW and I are no longer together FIL said he was very sorry how things had turned out and would like to remain in contact and I answered if it's re the kids then absolutely
Also SIL has attempted contact but I answered her text but ignored her request for a chat to catch up. Again my take is M is over so why keep contact with people relating to that M who in time will be involved in EXWs new R
I have no intention of ever not answering inlaws should they need info on kids , etc but moving on means that
We can't change what has happened but we can grow from it. I don't feel growth is helped by maintaining contact that could provide fresh pain
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
