V, I wish I had something enlightening and helpful to say to you because you always have the best things to say to me, I just want to wish you a peaceful day and a reminder to practice self-care. Eat well, sleep, give yourself a break. You are awesome.
Hope your Today has been a little lighter then Yesterday and will be somewhat more fun Tomorrow.
I agree with all the analogy of yesterday, today and tomorrow. If at least we are run by a microprocessor and could just think so precise. But we are not, and we burn inside with the Yesterday pain mixed up with guilty. And we anguish Tomorrow and hope that we will be in peace and taste real happiness. So with all this in our heads, we are Lazy Today.
It's not a perfect world, not close to be a perfect life and we are far from perfect beings.
I guess the deal is to break things into departments. Now you are lazy V. Then you are a workaholic V, a little later you are a woman, a chef, a soldier, etc...
My IC told me that once you need to overcome what is inside of you, like pain, trauma, hate, anger, sadness... and still live in a normal world where you need to work, talk, see people, you need to break the day in several pieces. This way you feel less stressed out because you won't expect more done then what you have planned for each stuff.
Trauma is something permanent, it won't go away. What will happen is that you need to continue helping yourself in all the ways you can. Eventually something will click and you will feel OK with all this.
Everyone has there own time to heal, to let go, to forget and forgive, to make it not so important anymore.
So, don't be so hard on yourself. If finances are the most important, then tackle that first. Prioritize, know how to ask for help and accept the ones that are being offered.
There is only one thing that can't be resolved (at least for now) and it's Death. Anything else is manageable.
Never asked, but are you taking any ADs? They help, and they help a lot. Miracle little things that makes me a normal person to function in a not so normal world.
The only thing I wish and pray for is that you never let go. Life is wonderful and there is so much more to it then the people that hurt us. Learn from it, live it, cry on it and let go of all. One jerk out of your way will probably give space for two or more nice people to love you.
Believe that you are brave. Believe that you are a lovely person that has lots to offer. Believe that you do not deserve anything less then respect and caring. Believe that no matter what you can understand your Yesterday, hope and learn how to make your Tomorrow better and live today with 100% desire of being alive.
You said V, LIFE IS SHORT...so go girl, go girl, go girl.
Take good care after yourself V. We all love you a lot, Pink
I like what Pink said about breaking the day into little pieces. A very good friend of mine who scraped me off the floor every day for the 3 months after BD and I believe saved my D's life by practically admitting her to the hospital on my behalf also right after BD, tells me frequently to break the day into small pieces, and look for the "gift" in each piece.
The gift might be a talk with a friend, a posting on this forum, a sunrise, a good cup of coffee, each piece of the day has a gift. Some days the day has to be broken into hours, some days can be morning, afternoon, and evening, it all depends on your state of mind that day. So, yes, break the day into pieces and look for the gift in each piece.
I hope you are having a good day filled with many gifts, V.
Hi. Vanillia. You can only get through what is possible. Take your time and do what you can , as you can. In a years time you will look back and reflect on the panic with different eyes.
I'm no accountant but can I advise to get invoicing down and out to clients first and then reorganise everything else. Cash flow is king.
So energy levels are down. I work with a lot of diabetic patients and I see these comments all the time.
First, I need to ask if everything about your health is in check. Maybe it sounds like one more annoying thing in your To Do List, but it is the most important.
glucose levels, all the vitamins levels, thyroid checked, all acid levels, cholesterol (good and bad)... they all count a good chunk of your energy levels.
On the other hand, are you taking some anti depressants (even the minimum dose)? They help with that agonizing feeling of being overwhelmed.
Exercise...exercise... and a little more exercise... yes, it sound like we do not have time for it, but once you get at least a half an hour on it, then you feel like your time is increasing, because your energy increase and you are more productive. It's also good for your blood flow and your brain works a lot better.
It's easy? No,No,No... it's the hardest thing to get out buds out of the cough and go hard on your body, it's a lot easier to eat French fries. Is it impossible? No,No,No... it's not, it takes one day at a time and then you find yourself better and better and then you do it more.
Please V, I know very well what it is ... I will do it tomorrow. But some health issues are silent and you can't tell what is going on unless you are checked. At least a blood test every three months.
As my lovely RD said, money is king. And he is right. Stop this agony about not having the cash, feel depressed and then don't do the one thing that can get the cash flowing.
Get to the easy invoices first, the ones that are not loaded with troubles. Get that out of the way and out of the door, then as you wait the cash to start coming, get to the complicate ones.
Lately, I am writing one note for each thing I need to get accomplished. Sounds idiot? Not for me. I have three boys, a house, was left by my stupid H with all the responsibility, work full time, think about RD and need to deal with whatever hell comes my way.
The notes work well. I made a cork panel in a wall close to my kitchen and put all my cards there. Every time a card comes off the panel, it's a victory, it's an accomplishment. You may think I am in kindergarten mode but it works for us adults too.
Motivation does not just appear, it needs to come from inside of you, so you need to help to see what is there. I work with patient without one leg, some don't have two legs, others don't have arms (or both), I work with people that have MS and need braces in every part of their body. I have been learning a great deal of how to face my own problems without feeling overwhelmed.
Think it could be worse and at that instance you start feeling better and thanking (in my case God) that you have another day to be V, just V.
Please V, if you can spare some minutes, let us know about your health, so we can help to keep you in check.
Come on girl, you can do a lot more, stop the vicious circle of depression and anxiety, they are your worse enemies.
