He dropped kids off, and stayed for a chat. He talked about the house ( not in a rush to get rid of it), about his job and few issues he has, about the arrangements with the kids, and a bit if his future once house is sold.
He says that he'll buy his own house. No mention of OW or what happened this week.
Was nice to talk to him and he looked at me in the eyes a couple of time. I validated him and didn't interrupt him.
He says that he'll buy his own house. No mention of OW or what happened this week.
Have you considered that this is now an elephant in the room and should ideally be dealt with so that it doesn't grow in size over time?
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Never heard of that expression but it made me laugh!
I know don't believe what they say but he'll need a house where they can have her 3 kids and my 2!
Got a solicitor appointment to sort out financial separation. He is entitled to half of my pension and he has none, so at this moment in time I have to look after my kids and me financially!
Rouky, an elephant in the room means there is a big and important topic that isn't being discussed but needs to be talked about.
You have a mindset at the moment based on conjecture and without grounding that out to determine what truth there really is you are not working based on facts.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
I know he is back with her, as I saw his car at her place at night. I can't get much more evidence than that! I thought that BD was not talking about M or OW.
I know he is back with her, as I saw his car at her place at night. I can't get much more evidence than that!
Was he saying goodbye it's the end? I doubt it but you don't know for sure either.
Originally Posted By: Rouky
I thought that BD was not talking about M or OW.
It isn't, the point being made was that you've got a whole load of unknowns and are acting on them. Either bottom it all out or forget it, which is a very hard to achieve option. If your conclusion is right, he's also potentially having fun with you, at your expense, because you aren't bringing up something he knows you want to and he's not going to raise it because he knows it's gnawing at you.
Either way, if you let something fester, it gets more painful.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
So if I understood right I should asked him if he's back with her, and if he wants a D?
Yes, to the first question and it's up to you on the second. Personally, I simply keep quiet when he's said yes and don't break the silence, let him do that.
Get things in the open, having them even partly obscured makes discussion tricky at best.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Thanks Avanti. I think it's my fear of him saying yes that prevents me to ask him. I don't know why because he is already gone and I don't think I can be hurt further more.
Also H don't like confrontation that's why I didn't raise it as I know that if I challenge him in anyway when he thinks he is right he becomes an a@&.
I have been thinking for a whole now to apologise for my part in the failure of M, not as a way to get him back to feel at peace with me. I did this with a very good friend of mine, she was surprised I did it and I felt happier after.
I though about telling him that with the knowledge I have now if I had a chance I'd do things differently, that I still love him. Wouldn't this be as pursuing? Would it be ok to say this?
