Too much wrong now to do it right

[ATPeace]

Ok got that wrong closer to 1900 pcm

[NDY]

Where in the UK are you G?

[Huddy]

Ghost has left it on my thread. Sadly, he's in leafy Hertfordshire - St. Albans to be precise. Probably one of the most pricey parts of the UK.

[gonegrl]

Ghost, smaller house, good school. You can start selling/donating stuff now, you would be surprised at how much you have that you do not need. We moved a couple of times in the last 6 years and have a lot less stuff than we did before moving and I don't miss a thing.

We rented for 3 years and surprisingly saved more money than if we had bought. Because you don't realize how much money goes towards a new faucet here, a new lighting fixture there, some landscaping, etc. We came out ahead from renting.

Your D17 can share with the toddler. Or maybe wait a year or two until she goes to college and then she won't be there much anyway.

[ATPeace]

Ok,so today's worry

Daughter and I are not too close so I think now she may not want to come and live with me ....She might want to live 100% with mummy I would still want to have a room or space if she did decide to come and stay

W tells me when we sell the house we go fifty fifty on equity and with the child care

Not much to buy locally for the money that we will both get

W wants to stay local for schooling

We both need enough of the money to buy suitable houses

If W buys locally then will be in the worst part of town and will be bringing up my children in a not so nice house and I would be in the same area with the same amount of money

This will happen when we sell the house

Worrying

Ghost

[NDY]

Ok,so today's worry

Try to stop worrying and and start doing. Get a plan

Daughter and I are not too close so I think now she may not want to come and live with me ....She might want to live 100% with mummy I would still want to have a room or space if she did decide to come and stay

What age is your daughter? If she decides to live with her mother full time what are you going to do about it? How can you AT THIS POINT show her your love and support?

W tells me when we sell the house we go fifty fifty on equity and with the child care

That's how it works.

Not much to buy locally for the money that we will both get

W wants to stay local for schooling

We both need enough of the money to buy suitable houses

If W buys locally then will be in the worst part of town and will be bringing up my children in a not so nice house and I would be in the same area with the same amount of money

^^ You are worrying about nothing here. The important thing is you and your kids are not homeless. Modesty G, Modesty.

This will happen when we sell the house

Worrying

Ghost

Yes, it will. So get a plan. Look, I know this s*cks but you have to get a plan in place mate. You really need to start now. This isn't going to go away.

[ILYNOT]

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.




Ghost56, I too am anxious and worried but I read these;

24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?

26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? 27 "Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.

31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

32 "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.

33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.
34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.



7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

[Huddy]

Ghost

I see a lot here about what W wants, what does ghost want?

I'm guessing your D is a teenager. I don't know what it is about kids when they get to their teens, but they also go off the rails. She'll say lots of things to hurt you (my SD did when I was telling her to get her arse in gear) but they don't mean it. They're just like a WAW in rehersal!

As for housing, don't concentrate on the now. Whatever happens now, is not forever. You're W can't dictate where you're going to live and you can't dictate to her. If she ends up in a poorer part of town (is there anywhere 'rough' in St. Albans?) that's her concern. The most important thing is that you and your kids have a roof. The future is for then, not now. I bet you didn't think you'd be here a year ago, so what's to say you'll be in a better place in a years time?

[ATPeace]

Huddy you are totally correct I did not know or expect to be here a year ago

My d is nearly 17

I understand that I cannot dictate to her i guess this is one of my concerns she will buy where she wants to ....she will go view her property to buy and I will view mine ...on our own ...as this is how it works ...and that in its self is worrying she might buy a flat rather than a house in a poor area my children then get bought up in a rougher area and therer are no so nice areas even in St albans and there I want to be close to where my wife moves to so it makes it easy for child swap and Close enough that it makes it easy for the kids to see me when and if they want to and also to get them to school.

I am trying to build bridges with my daughter but I do not know if this will happen in time

My second youngest is 12 and the toddler is just 2

Why the [censored] does this have to be happening I would take just bing a friend to my W and live in the same house but she will not do this for the next 18 years

[censored] starting to spiral I can [censored] feel it

I have been looking for property arround the area and there is so little

I can move 20 miles outside the area and get something so much better bigger more room for the children but I do not want to be the inconveanance to the kids ....if they find it easy getting to school and to their friends from mums house then why would they want to be taken to mine they will prefer to live with the wife .. so I have to think about the kids surely

[ATPeace]

ILYNOT thank you