Thanks bud, will check that out. Had a cry in the bath. 43 and crying, what a penis I feel. Will look at a D tomorrow. Checking out for tonight. Thanks for everybody stopping by. Hopefully a bit more composed tomorrow.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Mate. It's ok to feel emotional. It's here now. Reality time. This my friend is the turning point. We all have one and trust me, it takes a barrel load of sh!t to go down before you realise that yes, this is your reality. I'm willing to bet that for all this time you never really believed she would go through with it. Well she is.
Mate. I know it's hard. I would die if I couldn't be with S10. That's where my motivation to get through this came from. Sure I'd prefer it if we were still a family but we're not.
True story time. My mate txt me the other day about seeing the OM on my WW's social media. I'm not connected to that anymore. My feelings on it? Meh. So what. She done with me and I'm done with her. But I'm not dropping out of S10's life. That my friend is where you need to be.
I know you won't sleep much tonight. I've been there and my thoughts are with you mate.
I'll keep checking in every now and again just in case.
Peace
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Huddy, it's not odd that you had a strong emotional reaction to this event. It must feel like a huge threat to lose your home and fear to lose your children, and of course grieve your marriage.
But I can guarantee you that part of that emotional reaction is due to you not knowing your rights. In the absence of facts and knowledge, we feel fear, which elicits an emotional reaction. If you have the knowledge, you won't feel fear anymore, because you'll know what the options are and what your power is. There may still be uncertainty, but it's not nearly as overwhelming or scary.
If you google "UK fathers' rights organisations", you will find a number of entities that could possibly help you with general information and what your next step would be.
Lawyers can vary in price, maybe one of these organisations can put you in touch with someone who will work with you on a payment schedule. Most L's will interview with you at an hourly rate, or even for free. That is where you should start, because you will get so much useful info just through that consult, and make sure you find a L who works the way you want. If you bring your information properly organised, they can explain how they would approach the situation and what the law says.
Most L's will probably want an initial downpayment to actually start working your case, but you should try to find the money somehow right now to get started. Make these calls right away, especially if your W already has a L!
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Question,why can you not give your details to huddy if you want to surly you could just create a tempery email address post the link here make contact then scrap the email address ...I am pretty sure some temp email addresses auto expire anyway......or is this against forum rules ? Not wanting to get in trouble
Just an idea
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Hi Ghost. It's against the rules unfortunately. But Huddy and I are only a short distance away and I'd be happy to meet him somewhere in the middle.
Huddy, how about it? I can meet you in Stirling?
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Not to put salt in your wounds but your gift of time should have been used in part to arm yourself against this possibility.TThat being said is the info you collected at the start of the summer of use. You managed to dissuade her then. What is different?
Also, out of curiosity why does W get to decide alone about agreeing sale? This changes nothing but I missed why you don't have to agre/sign.
Lastly I agree with the others here. You need a L. F#@k the money. Are you entitled to half house money?? Regardless this is about your kids.Theyare priceless.
Why does W believe she has custody?Surely you are equally entitled and as such the kids should stay with you. Ignore my questions if you are too busy figuring this out. I just trying to: understand fully.
Best of luck mate.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Surprise! Just swinging by to write that I haven't forgotten about you or anyone else on this forum.
It's VERY hard, but do your best to keep your emotions in check.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Well NDY, of course you were right. I thought when the house was sold she would, somehow, see the reality of it all and wake up. Of course, she always had the ace up her sleeve of going back to her parents, which, she has now played for the third time.
Whilst reality has well and truly got me, it just doesn't seem to affect my W. She seems carefree that my SD could become homeless (she's told her to go to the council for housing) and the fact that she's taking my beloved children away doesn't seem to faze her one bit. I. of course, won't see my SD homeless and have texted her this fact on the way to work. You might see that as 'not dropping the rope' as there would still be a connection, but I'm not going to see a girl I have brought up as my own for nearly 17 years on the street.
W's behaviour got more disrespectful last night and, surprise surprise, it was my fault. She yelled at me to 'turn the tv down'. I didn't do it because she didn't say please (might be seen as petty, but the kids were there and how are they gonna learn manners when W hasn't got any)and then said it was 'my fault' as I 'wasn't being nice to her'. Classic script.
Woke up at 0145, stayed awake for a couple of hours and then dozed until 0550 wen it was time to go to work.
So, here's my plan. Azzork would call these goals, so, here we go:
1)Find a flat 2)Let her go 3)Maintain a PMA and good attitude for the rest of the coming time 4)Keep emotions in check 5)No arguing in front of kids 6)Hope that W finally realises the damage she is doing.
6 is probably more hope than expectations. 2 is for me. I realise that she hasn't felt loss at all as I'm still here and we're not really separated.
It's like a second BD, just managed to keep it together a bit better this time and thankfully didn't resort to begging, pleading etc.
My work has offered my facilities for moving etc. so that's one worry out of the way. My previous L said it would be in my favour to not do anything about the kids until she's gone, as the court would look favourably on me. I'm going to seek a second opinion but I can't press the go button on action until she's gone, as I really have no free funds at all.
NDY - yes a meet would be great at some point in the next couple of weeks.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Glad you are back. I'll let the other chip in RE last night but for now just know that I'd be happy to meet up and we can talk things through. I know how you are feeling today and it s*cks big time.
But it's not the end. It will work out.
Let me know when you want to meet.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
