Taking it back

[NDY]

Sotto. What about a bit of fun? I could do with a bit of fun.

[Painter]

Again, shocked and sad for you - the additional info about folic acid makes it even more stunning.

Honestly - is dating at this point fair to whoever you would date? Would you even consider getting into a serious R now? And I don't know too many women who date casually...

I'd lean on friends and do GAL activities, if it were me.

It's interesting to see how different it is here on the board, though, when it comes to members talking about dating - personally, on one hand, I have had fleeting thoughts of a dream-man who shares my values, shows me affection, is interested in what I do, wants to do things together, etc. But on the other hand, I have no interest in men at this point. I have noticed one - 1 - attractive man in the last year, and it was years since last time. Maybe I'm the one who is weird...

[Sotto]

Hi NDY..I'm sure you could my friend. I guess I'm just thinking in terms of 'hurt people, hurt people' you know? I always think it is best to focus on family, friends and other non-romantic and rewarding things in your life before moving healthily into a new R...

But that's just MHO of course. I always remember another poster in MLC saying how much he regretted hurting an OP in his sitch because it was just too early for him...

[asitis]

Wow, NDY. I really feel for you. I can't imagine how I'd react in your place, except that it would be incredibly awful and difficult to deal with the chaos of emotions that would unleash. I'm glad you seem to be standing up and keeping your bearings as best anyone can in such a sitch.

Great on focusing on your S. I know counseling is tricky wo/ mediation from what you said before, but having a consult or two w/ a family therapist who has a lot of experience w/ kids would help you understand how to help your S through a time that will be very confusing for him.

I am glad that your W at least told you directly. A glimmer of responsibility and consideration in a sea of darkness, but still given what you've said it is perhaps a bit of a surprise that she did that much.

DBing still goes on, as you have a co-parenting R to work out w/ your STBXW, and then figuring out your life forward out of this morass.

Best wishes for healing.

[jim0987]

Wow...just wow. I can't imagine how the must feel. Just know there's a lot if people here feeling for you.

Sotto is given you good advice and I learnt time ago...if in doubt agree with Sotto.

And remember very rarely does anything good come from actions which are rooted in hurt.

[JAL]

Most men don't steal other mens wives or still go around nightclubs pretending to be hip at 34 neither.

That's not what I was talking about but thanks for your input.

[NDY]

Hi

Look. You guys are immense. Truly amazing. But please know this. I'm ok. Better than you can believe. It's fine. My WW and I are over. There is a child involved. Sure, I need t be there for S10 and I need to GAL but at the same time is this really any different? I don't think so. She's done. Moved on and I'm doing the same.

Guys, I'm really not hurting. I should be but I'm ok. I Iove you all but serously I'm fine/

[Zues126]

I think you alarmed people by saying this was far worse than BD. Look, you've got enough going on that you don't need to worry about your DB forums PR campaign. We get it. It was a shock, but you've got this. And it can't get worse, because the M is dead and you can't hurt a dead body.

Thanks for sharing NDY.

[Vanilla]

There are two children involved in this, one aged 10 and the other as yet unborn.

This is difficult stuff.

V

[PigPen]

Just got caught up on this. I'm just sending you a hug NDY.

Holy smokes, that's a bomb after the bomb.

Hugs,

PP