Sotto Voce

[Dawn70]

As many commenters have stated before me, YOU are a wonderful person, Sotto. When the time is right, some wonderful man who you deserve and deserves you will come along. Great GAL with your social group, but don't let their outer selves make you question your inner self. I read somewhere recently that if we judged everyone on their insides like we do ourselves, we would see that we measure up better than even imagined. That is a super-paraphrased version of what I read so I hope it makes sense. LOL

In many ways, fine lady, I strive to be more like you. Though we have never met, you seem very outgoing and I get the feeling that we would get along nicely IRL.

Best wishes for a good week coming your way.

[jim0987]

Hi Sotto.

Hope you're well.

I've had the same thought about whether DBg prolongs the pain but I came to the conclusion that it's not so much DB that does it just where our own personalities fit with our individual situations.

I wouldn't worry about the extrovert thing. We can't all be extroverts and sometimes the extroverts miss out on the more involved conversations. In the end is about balance (what isn't?)

Have a good evening.

[Vanilla]

Just checking in

Hugs

V

[Sotto]

Thanks Dawn, Jim and V. Dawn, thanks for the vote of confidence. And Jim, your wise words are always welcome. V - thanks for the hug Yes, the social group is good. But I just had one of those moments of loneliness in a larger group. I'm better with smaller numbers and making closer connections I think.

I've been away last couple of days with work. Things have gone well this week. I had hit a couple of blockages with projects and felt a bit immobilised. I'd been having a bit of negative self-talk about it too. Gremlin on my shoulder. This week I flicked him off and pressed forward with one of the projects, so I'm pleased about that. Tomorrow I'm working from home and I'll press forward with the other too.

Today I'm off and I'm going to potter about, clean and just have a pampering day. I heard from a friend yesterday who wants to go out Sat pm, which is nice. I find the GAL invites tend to roll in now without too much effort on my part. I got an email from the Divorce Recovery Workshop co-ordinator to confirm I'm still on the list for the workshop which starts in early Nov. I'm looking forward to that.

All is quiet on the H and D front. He and I have had no contact for around a month. Him getting draft D papers sent over has helped me really. I used to get more regular 'itches' to contact him, and now that happens less. I'm accepting that D may well happen now, and I've reached a place of some peace with that. Although I'm still DBing and careful about interactions with H, I worry less about the impact on him of what I do, and I do it more for myself. I've pretty much decided that I will buy the lovely flat I'm renting when our finances get resolved, so that's another nice thing to look forward to.

I do still find myself getting caught up in this 'decision which isn't needed' - could we ever reconcile? I find myself worrying about that sometimes. But, I'm getting better at telling myself that isn't even on the table right now. If it ever were on the table, I would deal with that then. I guess the door remains a tiny chink open and my efforts are all on responding to D matters and living my own life. Whether H ever 'wakes up' somewhat and turns back in the direction of our M isn't really my issue to worry about just now.

So, that's where I am and it's not a bad place to be. There are many things I am grateful for. I had a chat with a lady the other day, who told me she had a lung removed during cancer treatment. Her energy and mobility is limited now. Since then, I've felt so grateful for having two healthy lungs that work, and being able to break into a run if I want to...

Have a great Wednesday my friends xx

[rd500]

Hi Sotto. Really positive post and even the thoughts on H and D sound health

Your story re the lady with one lung really resonated with me. I was on Dyalisis for 5 years and the kidney problems that cause the need for it make you very tired and weak. The Dyalisis itself makes your feel even worse and it's a vicious circle. When I would head upto the hospital I would often feel very sorry for myself I had normally done a full day's work and then had the treatment and would not be home until about 12 o'clock On my shift of Dyalisis were 8 people and one of them was a young girl who had Down's syndrome , had no legs and thalidomite type arms. I would walk in , she would beam up at me and say Hi with such enthusiasm that you would feel guilty for even having a 'poor me ' thought. I would complement her on her hair or top or something and she would burst into giggles I never saw that young lady sad

Be grateful for what we have Sotto is an caring attractive , successful person who has a huge amount of good in her life and that's the end of the matter. Oh yea , and a dope of a husband who's too stupid to realise what his losing

Take care. Rd. xxxx

[jim0987]

Sotto, you are awesome (and highly agreeable)

[Vanilla]

What Jim said.

RD, a comparable story, when I was having my chemo, a little lass aged about 6 or 7, with some sort of bone cancer, came up to me and asked if I was scared. Then after finding out I was, just a little bit scared, said "don't worry I can hold your hand"

V

[Vanilla]

Sotto,

We have new poster in Newcombers called Easy, even to my untrained eye it looks like abuse and MLC.

Would you take a look for me?

new poster easy, MLC?

V

[Sotto]

Hi V, no problem at all. I'll have a look now xx

[Vanilla]

Thanks Sotto

V