Vidya

[asitis]

Not yet. She doesn't want to reconsider right now. Just store that in your back pocket for when you get to the friendship or piecing stage when she can see that with some compassion. There are lots of things that I have thought would help my W see things better. They were always met with the reaction opposite what I had hoped for. Now, I just save them up for when she is ready to listen and give. That may never come, but right now it would only stir up the dust storm I'm trying to let settle.

I know it is tempting to pass on this kind of insight. Really tempting. Right now, you need to let the insight settle in to you and work on yourself in light of this insight. It's not going anywhere and you have time.

[mutatio]

Thank you asitis. I knew your suggestion was the correct path.

I was hoping for a short cut, knowing there was none.

[mutatio]

The family is driving my daughter back to college today. We will stay in a hotel tonight and come home tomorrow afternoon.

Accepting the silence between us, validating her thoughts and a PMA seem to be my best choices for behavior.

My goal is to make this trip a positive memory while building a new foundation of positive experiences. With enough positive moments, she may reconsider her path/position.

Any other thoughts or suggestions on how to make this event achieve that goal? Things to do or things to avoid.

[Vanilla]

This hasn't been explored enough. I think this needs to be re contextualised into a story, I am unsure it's depression, it is possibly something else, but I feel it needs more work yet.

V

[Azzork]

There's no point in telling her that you WERE depressed.

How about instead, you just simply act not depressed now?

[mutatio]

Vanilla and Azzork thank you all for your responses.

Vanilla, I would love to get into this more with you now that summers over.

Azzork, I love your simple, clean and elegant advice.

The changes I am seeing in the MR are due to my detachment. My wife seems a little less depressed around me. Things haven't improved between us but it's not getting worse (so the glass is half full).

I am more accepting of my marital circumstances. From this acceptance I am slowly thinking of me more and her/us less.
This makes the hardest thing I've ever had to experience just a little bit better.

[Vapo]

There's no point in telling her that you WERE depressed.

How about instead, you just simply act not depressed now?

AZ,

you rock!

Fist bump...

[mutatio]

Thanks for stopping by Vapo.

When I read Azzorks post I thought of the old joke "Doctor it hurts when I do this..."

I have accepted my situation and will not try to dominate the circumstances. "I am a leaf on the wind"

[Avanti]

There are many giving you good advice and it's down to you to follow it, so all I am going to say is you are the man to do it.

The journey is long and you will have some wobbles (if you don't, you aren't doing anything) but you are more than up to it, believe in yourself.

[mutatio]

Thanks for the support Beagley. It's nice to have people to share with.

I have completed another day in marital purgatory. All the days seem to be the same. Between the cold indifference and the silence I reside.

There is not much to new to report which means the glass is half full. Be well