I am surprised you are pursuing legal action. I didn't know you were to that point. You know very well I understand being at that point, just didn't know you were. If that's what's right for you, we are all here to support you.
Hi Sunny. Had the letter a while My Lawyer is the ex chairman of the divorce board over here and advised me to sit on the letter for 6 mo the as feelings change and his seen lots of Ms saved He also was worried about EXW and her mental state if she was to recieve such a letter
Sunny , I'm just looking at my life for the next 10'years and it looks tough. If I was to move 1/2 hour away it would mean she wouldn't be able to call in as she feels like it
I'll get off the sorry go round and feel better tomorrow. Thanks for always being there
Hi lovely RD, sorry you've been feeling rough. It's understandable and I do think your sitch is a challenge. I feel up and down and I haven't actually seen my H for a year!! I can't imagine how hard it must be still having your W as part of your lives, in your house and so on. The best advice I can give, is that you make decisions in your own best interests and in the interests of the kids.
If you want to propose selling the house, propose that. If you want to remove W from the business books, propose that too. She has chosen a separate life path just now, and like so many of us, you just need to make your own plans. Of course, you can do that and stand for your M and a possible reconciliation if you choose - but I think 'practical arrangements' shouldn't be put on hold. JMHO, and feel free to ignore!
RD, do I recall that you need to be S in Ireland for 5 years before filing for D?? If that is the case, you guys are going to remain M for a while - even if you do live separate lives and sort out finances. I have to say in your W's case, I'm surprised she hasn't come back seeking more in the way of funds etc. It may help you both to sell your current property perhaps?
Finally, I think there is an answer to feeling the doldrums and that is RD to have some adult GAL and extend himself a bit further.....but that's JMHO - and I'm only mentioning it because I haven't for a little while...
Take care xxx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I'm sorry your feeling a down about things, perfectly understandable though.
I wouldn't let feeling down make you want to push forward on the legal side straightaway though. To my mind it's better if that comes from feeling positive about independent life....
So couple of things I want to pull you up on, meant with only positive intent.
Why on earth would your W not be able to give up her current life? it doesn't sound particularly great to me.
You said nothings changing except the anti-Ds are working and EXW is getting better with the kids. That sounds like a pretty significant something and the kids are a key part of your bond.
Also for nothing to be changing then that means you arent either which 1) isn't true and 2) gives you options to change you for the even better (personally I love Team GB's slogan 'Better Never Stops').
Anyway, I hope you are feeling better today.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
I am new to your sitch and will take the time to get up to speed on the details, but for now I simply wanted to say that, It sounds like you are having a tough patch and I really feel for you.
Life can feel like it's sort of under control one minute, then the next second something small happens and you plummet. It happens to everyone and as you really do get the DB process you'll be back on the ball very soon.
Don't rush any decisions with your current mindset, take some time to think it all over, a few more days cogitating and you'll have a more balanced perspective.
Beagley
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Vanillia. Not spoken to SIL for a while and I'll wait for her to contact me. Mthanks for the hug.
Huddy. Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Sotto. You're right re doing what's best for the kids. Selling the house would benefit EXW a lot more than me I have my income but she' doesn't have much I have asked EXW about selling and she has refused saying the kids love the house and shouldn't have to move. Im having a bad few days and need to pull myself together. Thanks for being there.
Jim. Thanks mate
I can't see EXW giving up her new life because she seems to have accepted it and she had 25 years of me and left !!
Nothing's changing. She seems happy enough around me and comfortable I take this as a bad sign because she isn't showing any signs of change
Your right re doing nothing while upset but it feels like I should just move on but I do see how it's more to punish her than really benefit me
Beaglly. Thanks for your comments and like Jim Your right re reacting while upset. Thanks for your input
Thanks to you all. I know I'm in a better place than a lot of people on here and I should appreciate that a bit more. Re the GAL I love look into a few things and see what I can find.
