V, you know I adore you but I have to respectfully disagree with the homeschooling part. I think a thoughtfully-planned homeschool program is one of the best educations a child can have, BUT....don't you think S has lost enough here? He's lost his family, his mom is not acting like she should, he doesn't see dad full-time. So now he gets pulled out of school, away from his friends, away from any teachers he might admire? Not my vote.
I haven't posted in a long time, and I don't remember your earlier threads so my advice may be off-base.
My guess, based solely on what I've read in this thread, is that your W is probably genuinely interested in reconciliation. But, just as you want to see changes from her, she wants to see changes from you too. Back in April, she agreed to let S12 move to Florida because she thought that it would soften your heart toward her (see, WAH? I'm willing to make sacrifices for you) and eventually lead to a reconciliation. (What's the word for that? Implicit contract?) When you didn't do whatever it was that she was looking for, she started to doubt her decision to let S12 move. She continued to stew over it for months. Finally, in July she reached out and tried to engage you in a conversation about your relationship, which is what she wanted all along. But, your response didn't tick all the right boxes for her, so she decided to use the only power she has to draw you into the conversation -- her agreement (or not) to allow S12 to move with you to Florida. I'd be willing to bet that this really isn't about S12 at all but about her own feelings of being abandoned. But because you won't engage her in that discussion*, she has to make it about S12, because that is the only area where you can't avoid engagement.
(I may or may not have done the exact same thing with my WAH over the past few months about selling a piece of property we own.)
*I know you told her you would talk if she stopped contact with OM, but in her mind that's quite a risk to take when you are dead-set on moving to Florida and not really engaging her at an emotional level. Note, I'm not defending her, just explaining why she might not have dumped the OM as soon as she got your terse email response.
What's the reasoning behind the email-only boundary? I don't think it's reasonable to expect that co-parenting can be accomplished via email only, except in the most extreme of situations. It would frustrate me beyond belief to not be able to call up my (hypothetical) XH and talk about our D8.
Please start a new thread. You have 103 postings/replies.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
