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Joined: Oct 2014
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U

Who gives a fig about mystery on the outside when you have mystery on the inside? Can I recommend Viktor Frankls Mans Search for Meaning. It's about a concentration camp in Nazi Germany, but it's one of the most amazing books I have ever read.

A honest gentle man with a great heart and love for his kids. Keep on being you U, it will be ok, not always today or tomorrow, but eventually. WW is missing out.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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U

I can be flashy but not so WH knows. That's for me not to attract WH back. Quietly flashy? Classy ok?

Love your attitude.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Hi Vanilla.

Your list sounds pretty comprehensive but a couple of observations the main one being that the list still gives your H to much power and influence over you - I can understand why but its something to be aware of. Maybe separating out your communication strategy from your goals.

The other thing, and again I understand, but your H has then no route to contact you, which means he may pop up somewhere. Have you thought about setting up a separate email account which you only use to communicate with H and telling him that is the only route to communicate with you? You can check it or not as infrequently as you like.

Hope you had a good day.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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Dearest V,

Sending a giant hug your way. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Keep moving forward. xx

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
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Great idea from Jim re the email account

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Having a list is a great idea V. It will help to keep you on track. It is a contract with yourself. Onwards and upwards!


Me 52 H 44
T9 M 5
BD 12/11 H
split 8/12
OW moved in 12/12
OW gone for good 6/14
We get closer again 9/14
SD 13 Me 4 Grown





Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
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Jim

I like your idea, and I am thinking on it. I told WH he needed to write letters if he wanted contact.

If he comes near me with aggression I will get a restraining order. There is no need for him to visit or contact me.

I have come to Brighton, to fix the garage door and to exercise, rewrite my will and finish the divorce papers or annulment. I have loads to do and clients to finish.

My new life starts right now, change is happening.

I bought fruit and veg and I bought a smoothie maker for my flat, I am sleeping properly for the first time in years. My nails have grown whilst before they tore and were sore.

I have a new TV as I cashed in some vouchers I had, replaced the iron but not the ironing board.

I had the weirdest lucid dream last night, I dreamed I had a huge wound with lots of dead skin. There were maggots in it and one of the maggots had WH face, it said (weird huh?) "I am only eating the dead flesh, this will make you better".

Send me to the funny farm.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Bob, RD, Karma thank you for your support.

There is much to do. A job I had been postponing thinking it required hours of energy took 10 minutes. When I looked closely HMRC had accepted my offer, the client was thrilled. I can invoice!

Face the fear, eat the frog.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Wow, that's an intense dream V! I'm not an analyst but I bet you can figure out what your subconscious is telling you.

You are shedding your old skin and reclaiming the powerhouse that is V. You may have been knocked down V, but you're far from out. Your WH seems to be trying to survive what is old and dead while you grown a new, thicker skin.

I still say a prayer for you each knight that you are filled with strength and that you WH finds a path that goes directly away from you and into some kind of recovery.

To hear that you are sleeping well, eating well, that your body is showing signs of growth fills me with joy.

If your WH confronts you physically, please let me and the rest of the gentlemen on this board what airport we can fly into and when you'd like us there.

Big hug,

PP


M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
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PP

You are a delight!

Your analysis makes me smile.

I suspect WH is all bluff and bluster. He once told me that his brother "knew people who could make someone disappear and no one would know". His brother is a delightful law abiding citizen, so I haven't a clue where that came from.

Then he downloaded personal assassin onto the joint iPad. Very sinister but slightly amusing too.

It's time to learn karate!

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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