Six to Nine

[dwh15]

I agree with Pigpen. Awesome statement about your life Mahhhty. It's the mental place all of here should be striving to reach. Keep up the great work.

[mahhhty]

Pigpen & dwh,
Thank you both for the kind words.

Vacation was a blast. X came over to pick up the kids on Sunday. The exchange went fine. I get to see them again tomorrow. Which I am looking forward to. Going from being incredibly busy to quiet plays with my mind. But I know better, and ask myself what do I need to do right now to be happy? Then I go do it.

[AnotherStander]

It's been over a week since my last post. I believe on some level I just don't feel like posting.

Yeah well I can relate, today is the first time I've posted since August of last year I think I had to take a sabbatical from here to well and truly let go of my marriage. If you don't feel like posting then don't, it can be cathartic posting but it can also be cathartic taking a break

[mahhhty]

AS - You are definitely right. It felt good to not be concerned with thinking about the situation, but being involved with other GAL activities.

[mahhhty]

There was a mix up this AM with regards to no daycare this week. We worked through it via some texts.

I then had to go to her place to pick up the kids. My D opened the door, was excited to see me and X went around the corner.

This left me to ponder if I should even enter or not. What an interesting concept to think about. A person I was close with, I don't even know now, and there I was waiting by the door to try and understand what to do.

I don't think she expected me. She didn't have any makeup on (she has been wearing her hair down again).

I wasn't as comfortable as the last time (b/c of the text exchange most likely). I didn't make much eye contact but stayed happy and up beat. This was the first time I had been in her place in a long time (maybe winter). I noticed on her wall one of the main pictures was a photograph I took of the kids at the pool. How ironic, that she displays a photo of a memory she doesn't have.

The entire process is filled with double standards, catch-22's, and irony. At it's core (or my core) is an engineer's need to try and fix it. Despite my wishes I don't. I don't push the envelope. I don't give her the letter/s. I don't make any ripples (mostly b/c all the major issues are dealt with). I don't mostly b/c I know the best chance for a potential future, is her to approach me.

I guess the moral of the story is... control what you can control and take it one day at a time.

[mahhhty]

BTW... This spoke to me. If I had to make an assumption aka mind read aka judge aka pigeon hole her (all things I shouldn't be doing), this is what I would come up with.

Divorce Busting
6/17/15

People who are unhappy in their marriages often speak of feeling trapped.
They yearn to be free from the tension, loneliness, constant arguments,
or deafening silence but worry that divorce may not be the right decision.
After all, they took their marital vows seriously.
They're not trying to hurt their spouses.
They don't want to hurt their children.
They panic at the thought of being alone.
They worry about finances.
They fear the unknown.

Yet the idea of living in a loveless marriage starts to feel like a death sentence.
Over time, many of these people slowly convince themselves that
the benefits of leaving their marriages vastly outweigh the benefits of staying.
They tell themselves, "Kids are resilient, they'll bounce back,"
or "In the long run, this will be better fore everyone."
It's not until they embark on the path to divorce and begin to piece their lives back together
that they discover the real price they paid for their so-called "freedom."
Regretfully, this painful discovery comes too late.
They have fallen into the divorce trap.

- DIVORCE REMEDY
Michele Weiner-Davis

[Bob723]

Hey Marty,

Thank you for stopping by my place. I replied to you there.

I can understand where you have grown weary of posting on your sitch. I think about you quite often and how much you have helped me. Darn, I wish we could meet for a drink or two or . . .

Your last post will help many people. MWD hit all the major points. I especially think this fits all WWS' or WAS':

"Over time, many of these people slowly convince themselves that the benefits of leaving their marriages vastly outweigh the benefits of staying."

Sadly, I believe that was the case with your W and mine as well.

God is in control and I know something great is going to come out of this for you. How do I know? Faith, and you are a terrific guy.

Chin up, my friend.

Bob

[mahhhty]

Thanks Bob. I needed it today!

[PigPen]

Strength to you Mahhhty. We're all going to get through this in one piece. I have faith that you will thrive again. More so than you probably do.

Strength.

PP

[Bob723]

Thanks Bob. I needed it today!

You're welcome, anything for you sir!

Bob