Looking for advice and comfort

[PT33]

Wonka,
I sure am going to try with the GAL. I have to start packing because my soon to be XW wants the house on the market next week. She is moving quickly, house check, divorce paper check. She will be gone to her brothers in New Mexico till next tues and she will be moving some of her stuff down to LA the same day. I am reeling right now. I feel so numb, like I am living outside my body and this isn't my life. I talked with my IC last night and she said from what I have told her my W displays a lot of the characteristics for borderline personality disorder. This made me feel a little better because I know its not all my fault like how she is making it. Its a reason for her being so cold, emotionless, detached..pretty much like we did not spend the last 5 yrs of our lives together.

[PT33]

I wish I could fast forward past the next 3 months. I have so much anxiety all the time.

[HeavyD]

Have you spoken to a medical doctor? They could help relieve your anxiety if too bothersomre.

Hang in there

[Wonka]

PT,

I am so sorry to read at the speed of things here.

Do you have your own L? You can ask your L to stall and delay things so slow down the D train a bit. Having a L can be very useful as it will protect you emotionally and legally. I dragged my situation out for almost 4 years.

[PT33]

Heavy-I have not seen an MD, but I want to try to stay away from meds. Most of the anxiety is when I am at home.

Wonka-I do not have a lawyer because I cannot afford one. I think at this point if my wife does not want to stay and be married to me I can't force her and I want someone that wants to be with me. As much as I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her, I have to let her go. I know I am not being very positive right now, I hope you guys can help me with that. It kills me just 6 months ago that we would be pulling up to our house and she would say how much she loves it and our life. She has even abandoned her dog (she is like 17 yrs old) that she had before us that is supposedly so important to her. One of her issues with me is that I did not bond with her dog like I did with our 2 we got together. She has also left the 2 dogs we have together.

[PT33]

Yesterday was a pretty horrible day I got the D papers in the mail. It was like I was in a nightmare seeing our names. I still am waiting to wake up from all of this, I feel like I have been hit by a ton of bricks. None of this makes any sense. I'm not sure how to continue with DBing from here

[HeavyD]

I am sorry PT33. However, just cause you got papers does not mean the end. Stay focused and strong.

Hang in there

[PT33]

Hey heavy
How does it not mean the end?

[PT33]

Any advice on what I should do now? I know cali said to keep focusing on myself and let her be. I have 30 days to sign the divorce papers. I keep telling myself that it is over and she is not the same person. The person that loved me would never have treated me this way. And if she had really truly loved me like she said and what I thought we would have been able to get through this...

[ep0215]

PT - I felt the exact same way, still do every time I see an email from the lawyers or think "agh I am getting divorced". I know how devastating that must have been for you. I just tell myself that marriage is ending and probably for the better, if H comes around and "wakes up" then we will make a new marriage/relationship. It has made the thinking about it easier. You are a survivor and a thriver not a victim, just remember that.