Hi Jim. When you say no communication does that mean not even telephone ?
That doesn't seem right Have I got it wrong ?
Otherwise it sounds like you doing well As Vanillia says you do seem to have accepted your lot and maybe that's a good thing for now. No expectations so no disappointment
I rarely disagree with our friend Rd. Once again, I have to agree with him.
Chin up . . . you have this!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
RD yes, no contact at all. The kids are too small to have their own phone and if I rang XW she wouldn't answer. I could and probably should try more to push for contact on these weekends but at the same time I really try to limit my contact with her (and OMs) life.
Next handover is Friday evening. There's only one or two in person handover in a fortnight, the rest is through the school run.
V, yes resignation about the end of my M is probably the right word, but its part of acceptance. On the Kubler-ross change curve I'm probably just moving to the 'experiment' stage as I search for new meaning in my life (rather than meaning which is based around either my M,trying to save my M, or resentful about the end of my M)
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Hi Jim. The no contact must be incredibly hard. I haven't read how others deal with this with kids as young as yours but I hope you can sort something going forward
Re acceptance , this is something I have done just because I felt I had to. Living on the roller coaster was hurting to much
You are a father to two wonderful and amazing children. A father who wants the best and most wonderful things for those exploring minds and excited explorations. Who can share Shakespeare, classics, involvement, Xmas in London, swimming and love, hugs and more love.
It is an enormous gift to be a father to two healthy exuberant kids.
I am minded of my own father who at 94, still refers to me in my 60s as his little girl!
Know this it is your joy. I ask you to consider the most important gift you have the gift of love for your children; a gift expressed in your heartfelt posts.
V
Thank you for your generosity to me.
Last edited by Vanilla; 08/03/1511:50 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
You know, Jim, I sometimes have a hard time finding the right words, especially after the likes of V and rd and many others who say things so much better than I. But, what I can say is I totally understand the resignation and acceptance thing. Sure, our sitches are in totally different stages, but I can tell you when I hit that whole acceptance thing, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
I have learned to separate my XH from the person I married. They truly are two different people in my mind now and it has helped me realize a lot of things. I'm not suggesting you do this, as you have to do what works for Jim and that might not be it, but I just know that is what helped me get to acceptance.
I couldn't agree more with what V said above about daddies and their love. I, too, am still a "daddy's girl" despite my age being LONG past what could be considered girlhood. There is a very special bond between daddies and daughters and you are building an even stronger one and that is something that will be precious to all of you as you all grow together.
Much love, Jim, and tail wags from Molly too. We pray for you constantly and wish you all the best this life has to offer.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
About the lack of communication with the kids during your week off, have you considered paying them a visit at school/daycare/camp? My kids are easily available during lunch or playtime or from 3:30 pm onwards where it becomes free play. I sometimes stop by to say hello, collect a hug or two and drop a few kisses.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
Hi Jim...sounds like you have had a lot to deal with lately but are handling yourself well. You have to make the right choices now for you. All the have control over is you. In no time your kids will be old enough to contact you on their own. You sound like an amazing Dad.
Cheers,
Karma
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
Hi Jim, thanks for your kind post on my thread. It's always good to hear from you, and I hope you are doing well my friend.
Eagle-eyed me noticed that OM has now moved in with your W. I don't think you posted that update. Sorry to hear that, but I'm also partly pleased. Nothing like moving in together to strip away the rosy tint from those glasses IMHO.....
Did your W let you know this was happening, or did you just pick this up with the kids? Do they seem okay about it? How are things going in terms of GAL? I know you felt you might want to up the ante a little on that front, and I hope you've managed to add a couple of new things into the mix. Sometimes just adding in the odd yoga class or similar can just tip things from a little lonely-feeling into nice...
I know you dipped your toe into the dating pond and I also wondered if you decided to continue with that? I notice there has been quite a bit of movement towards D in the sitches of my contemporaries - Pink, Sunny, me....do you plan to continue as you are until the two year mark & then decide?? Interesting to read Crimson's sitch recently, and it does show how long sitches can take to turn, and that (whilst hard) it is good to retain a little hope whilst moving forward in our own lives.
Anyway - I'm sending a big hug and best wishes to you xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
